


Drawing Circles

by pommedeplume



Series: Family and Home (Poly Marauders) [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adulthood, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Baby Harry, Black James Potter, Break Up, Christmas, Domestic, Embedded Images, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Infidelity, Korean Remus, Latina Lily, M/M, Marauders, Mental Health Issues, Multi, New Years, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pacific Northwest, Paganism, Parenthood, Polyamory, Pregnancy, Public Sex, Queer Themes, Romance, Seattle, Smut, Tarot, Threesome - F/F/M, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Sirius, Transphobia, trans Marlene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-03-29 21:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 49,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19028380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pommedeplume/pseuds/pommedeplume
Summary: (December 2015 - August 2016)Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, and Lily Evans continue to draw closer. Lily is pregnant and trying to navigate an uncertain future. Sirius encounters unexpected twists as his brother seeks to reveal that he's alive. Remus readies his novel for publication. James buys a house.A new beginning is forged and life-changing decisions are made.





	1. Embrace Your Fear

It was never going to stop raining. Lily had resigned herself to the wet and gloom as she sketched on the porch, waiting to go to work. It was a habit she had only recently taken up. She didn’t think it had anything to do with the pregnancy but she opted not to rule it out either.

She had been sitting on the porch for an hour, sketching circles on her pad in the form of interconnected rings that went on forever. They weren’t perfect but that was fine. Lily had never been troubled by imperfection.

With a sigh and the start of another circle, she wished she had someone to talk to. She used to talk to Remus about everything but these days he spent all of his time with Sirius. Right now they were out on a date.

James had just got a job, out of fear that the money his parents had left him would run out, leaving him nothing left to help with their baby. On top of the job and finishing up college, James had little free time left. Max, formerly Mary, was on the road all the time. Peter and Dorcas were out east, visiting her family all December.

It was a year ago that Lily and Remus had first moved to this town on the Oregon coast. Over that year they’d built a family out of friends and partners both new and old. Lily didn’t feel she had much to show for it at the moment.

She sighed and shook her head. She was being ridiculous. All these friends and lovers and she was pitying herself. Soon she would be at work and Marlene, her boss/girlfriend would be filling all her social needs. She stood up, thinking she needed to pee. What was new? These days she always needed to pee. Aside from that inconvenience her pregnancy was thus far not proving much trouble. The nausea wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t fun but she’d feared worse. Her breasts weren’t feeling so great and she did have to remind James to be careful with them. But all in all, it wasn’t terrible just yet.

She was still able to do cam work in the mornings. Once her baby bump really started to show she would quit. She didn’t think she could stomach pregnancy fetishists. That was another reason James had picked up a job. They all knew they had been riding a bit high on good luck for too long. She’d been given this house from a relative unexpectedly. James inherited money from his parents. Sirius had inherited money from his mother.

Lily knew that all of this was hanging on by a thread. James wanted to be a video game designer. He couldn’t have that career here. Sirius had moved to Portland this past autumn for a few months but that had fallen apart quickly. Even Lily had ambitions that would be hard to fulfill down here.

She entered the house, going upstairs to put away her sketch pad, pee, and change into her work clothes. She grabbed her umbrella, hoping she wouldn’t need it. She drove to work, feeling very glad to see Marlene behind the counter at the book store.

“Hey, babe,” Marlene said, Lily going to the counter to turn her cheek for Marlene to kiss on instinct.

“Hey,” Lily said, still distracted by her thoughts as Marlene’s lip pressed into her cheek.

“Got some new books in you could shelve,” Marlene said.

“I’m on it, boss,” Lily said, freezing in place, her mind preoccupied.

Marlene came from behind the counter, walking over to Lily.

“What’s the matter?” Marlene asked, placing a hand on Lily’s arm.

Lily shrugged.

“It’s nothing. Just a lot on my mind. Where are those books?” Lily asked, knowing it wasn’t like her to avoid talking about things but genuinely wanting to get it all out of her head.

“In the back,” Marlene said, frowning as Lily nodded, walking through the store and opening the door to storage.

Marlene thankfully didn’t follow, as Lily grabbed the boxcutter and opened her first box, pulling out the books and setting them on a cart to be wheeled into the store. This task proved to be exactly what she needed. Her brain ran on automatic mode for an hour until it was complete.

She stretched and yawned as she approached the counter, Marlene busy checking someone out. Lily thought maybe what she really needed was weed. She hadn’t smoked any in months. She missed being high. She wondered how often she had been accidentally leaning on marijuana to cope. If this was what normal people felt like most of the time she wanted no part of it.

The bell on the door rang as the customer left, startling Lily out of her thoughts. She looked at Marlene and smiled.

“So, you want to know what’s on my mind?” Lily said.

“Always, love,” Marlene said, touching her back.

Lily stood up straight and walked in front of the counter.

“I think what’s bothering me is that I have no idea what the future holds,” Lily said, shaking her hands in front of her with frustration.

“I’d wager you’re about eight months away from popping out a baby,” Marlene said with a smirk.

“Obviously. Aside from that. I just mean… This last year has been the best year of my life and… I know this all can’t last,” Lily said.

Marlene nodded, giving Lily a sympathetic frown.

“Most things don’t. It’s the natural way of life. People move on. Life pulls us all in different ways. All we can do is enjoy ourselves in the moments. If we spend all our time wondering if the good times will end we’ll never enjoy them in the first place,” Marlene said.

“That’s a nice sentiment, in theory, but in practice things are complicated. What will I do if James says he wants to move?” Lily said.

“Seems inevitable, doesn’t it?” Marlene replied.

“Yeah. They’ve all been talking about it. Not too seriously even though it is probably serious. Remus’s mom just moved to Seattle. Sirius’s brother lives there. There’s a bunch of gaming companies there. I think I’ve just been living in denial,” Lily said, grabbing the broom and starting to sweep.

“Well, maybe it’s time to stop living in denial. Embrace your fear. Be the boss of it. Being afraid of the future won’t stop it from coming,” Marlene said.

“Yeah. I know. It just… sucks. I don’t know what I’ll say to Max or Dorcas. Or…,” Lily started but couldn’t finish.

“Or me? Sweetie, I knew what I was getting into. I’m a big girl. I don’t want to break up with you. At all. But it was a risk. It’s always a risk,” Marlene said, smiling though she sounded sad.

“But _I_ don’t want to break up with you. Or _anyone_. And besides, I didn’t break up with Max and Dorcas when I moved out here. Why would I need to break up with you?” Lily said, standing still with the broom in hand, having forgotten she was sweeping.

“I’m not poly, sweetie. My heart can’t bear to not be with the one I love. I won’t have anyone else to fill the Lily shaped void. If you leave… I’ll need to move on,” Marlene said, coming around the counter.

“Are we breaking up?” Lily said, looking up at Marlene, stunned.

“No. I’m just saying… it’s OK if things end. It will hurt. But you can’t go through your life being afraid of ever hurting someone because you did what was right for you,” Marlene said.

“Doesn’t mean you should just callously hurt everyone because you only care about yourself,” Lily said, wiping at her eyes.

“No. Of course not. There’s balance. You are not callous. You are crying in my shop afraid you’ll have to break up with me despite that you aren’t even sure you will have to. You’re the most compassionate woman I’ve ever met. Don’t sell yourself short,” Marlene said, leaning down to kiss Lily on the forehead.

Lily smiled but sighed.

“That’s the thing, Marlene. I am sure. Almost. I might have to force the conversation. James finishes college in a few months. We should have a plan,” Lily said, feeling anxious.

“Seems like the only thing you should be worried about is the baby,” Marlene said, walking away.

Lily scowled.

“I’m pregnant, not dead. Not everything I think or do needs to be about the baby. Especially not when there are other people to consider,” Lily said, starting to sweep again.

“Then force the conversation,” Marlene said.

“I will. Conversations. James first. Then Remus and Sirius. And then… everyone else, I guess,” Lily said.

“Whatever you decide… Make sure to tell me once you know,” Marlene said.

“I will. God, I need to pee,” Lily said, setting the broom aside, telling herself to remember to actually grab the dustpan on her way back.

* * *

 

James got home late but Lily stayed up to talk to him, having already pre-warned him via text. She tried to phrase it warmly so as not to panic him but she was sure he was nervous. To that end, she hopped up from the bed and gave him a kiss as soon as he came in.

“Whoa,” he said, laughing as he pulled away, still holding her close as he said, “When you said a conversation I thought you meant with words, not with our bodies.”

“Very funny. Sit down,” Lily said with a smile, gesturing with her head back at the bed.

“All right,” he said, sitting down and adjusting his glasses, something he often did before important conversations.

Lily took a deep breath then said, “I think we need to talk about the future. Our future.”

“This is going to be a fun conversation. Damn, for a half a second I was filled with so much hope,” James said.

“James, you and I both know that our current situation isn’t sustainable. This idea of us all living in this house is nice but we’re all young. We have dreams and things we want to do with our lives,” Lily said.

“Lily, I’m not going to leave you and don’t even think about giving me permission. I don’t have to be a successful video game designer. Maybe I’ll get lucky and make a game that I can sell to some indie company and make millions,” James said, snickering.

“James, I know you won’t leave me. I have dreams too. I don’t usually talk about them. Or at the very least no one seems to ask,” Lily said, frowning.

“I mean I know you’re into the sex work thing. And you said you wanted to expand it. And you seemed into the movie idea this summer,” James said.

“The sex work thing… that’s complicated. That might be a long term thing. I also might change my mind. After I quit for a pregnancy hiatus who knows if I’ll even want to go back to camming. I have been… thinking about acting for a long time. I think that’s why I was into the movie thing. And why I like camming. It’s acting. Naked acting but still acting. Takes a lot of effort to act like a lot of those guys don’t weird me out,” Lily said.

“You said you took drama in high school,” James said.

“I did. Which is to say, I loved drama in high school. Played Fantine in Les Mis senior year,” Lily said proudly.

“Really? You never told me that!” James said.

“James, do you even know what Les Mis is?” Lily said, raising an eyebrow.

“I made a very serious attempt to read the novel in eleventh grade. I got fifty pages in and gave up,” James said.

“Anyhow, I’m a pretty good singer. An all right dancer. My acting isn’t bad. But it could be better. For a while, I’ve been happy to just survive. I started camming because it was an easy way to pay the bills and I love sex. I don’t have much in the way of shame. But it’s not mentally satisfying. It’s still work. All jobs boil down to that. The only thing that’s different between that and working at the bookstore is Marlene’s much better company,” Lily said.

James laughed and said, “I can imagine.”

“The point I’m making is that I have dreams too. Dreams that can’t be fulfilled here. And let’s face it: is this really where we want to raise our child? How many Trump bumper stickers have you seen in the last week?” Lily said.

James groaned and said, “Too many.”

“They should be able to grow up somewhere else with more like-minded people,” Lily said.

“With less racist white people,” James said, cutting to the chase.

“Yeah. Molly has friends who are Trump supporters. They come into their shop. They are feeling pretty fired up by Trump. Finally, a racist white man will say what they’ve all been thinking. We can’t protect our child from racism. But we can at least remove them from the lion’s den. Take them somewhere a Black and Latinx kid can have some chance of fitting in. This town? It’s more than ninety percent white,” Lily said, cringing.

“You’re right. I mean Sirius and I didn’t come here to live forever. Everyone seemed so nice but… things are changing. I don’t like to admit it but… I’m scared for the future. That’s a first for me,” James said.

“Me too,” Lily said, coming around to sit next to James, leaning against his shoulder.

“So, where does that leave us. Where do we go? Assume anywhere in America is an option,” James said.

Lily turned to James, giving him her best, _Come the Fuck On_ face.

“What?” James said.

“You know as well as I do what we’ve all been thinking,” Lily said.

“Yeah. You’re right. We should all move to Miami. Everyone says Florida is terrible but who will care when we are sipping daiquiris on the beach,” James replied playfully.

Lily rolled her eyes.

“Seattle. Remus’s mom lives there. Regulus lives there. And I kind of love it there. There’s culture and lots of gaming and tech companies and more opportunities than we could dream of,” Lily said.

“Not the cheapest place to live. But neither was San Francisco,” James said.

“Yeah. So maybe we’ll have to live in the burbs. We can all drive. Except for Remus but there’s buses and shit,” Lily said.

“Yeah. Maybe. I’ll have to talk to Sirius. We both will,” James said.

“Yeah. I’d like to do that tomorrow. The four of us can sit down. I’ve already sort of talked to Marlene. Just because I needed someone to vent to,” Lily said.

“How’d she take it?” James asked, concerned.

“She’s strong. And honest. But I feel bad. I didn’t have to pursue her. I knew what I was getting her into,” Lily said.

“Lils. Don’t dismiss her agency. She had a choice. She still does,” James said, wrapping an arm around her back and squeezing her against his shoulder, her dark-red hair hanging loose over his arm.

“I know. Everyone always says that I’m full of sunshine and how I make everyone’s life better. I’m not sure that’s always true,” Lily said.

“It doesn’t have to be. It’s not our job in life to make everyone else’s life better all the time. If the world functioned right we’d all give just a little of ourselves to others. If we all did that none of us would need to pick up the slack so hard,” James said, kissing the top of Lily’s head.

Lily laughed and leaned up, turning to grin at James.

“That’s a fantasy land you are describing and the name of it is not America,” Lily said.

“Maybe not. But we can dream. But for the moment… I need to pee,” Lily said, slapping James’s thigh and standing up.

“All right. I guess I’ll get ready for bed. Do you want… do anything?” James winked.

“Nah. Not in the mood, if you can believe it. But you know what? You can cuddle me. You can cuddle the shit out of me. Just really… get in there and cuddle my brains out,” Lily said, opening her bedroom door.

“Still turns me on,” James said with a snort and pulled his shirt off as she left the room.

* * *

 

“That was delicious,” Sirius said, sliding his plate forward.

“Thank you,” Lily said, pleased that she had at last normalized the consumption of vegan meals in her house, even if she hadn’t turned everyone into actual vegans.

“Yeah. I feel so full I want to die,” Remus said, leaning back and looking distressed.

“Well, if you die at least it was for a good cause,” Sirius said.

“So, boys, I wanted to have a conversation with you. Since everyone else is out of the house. James and I have… tentatively made a decision but we wanted to see how the two of you feel and what your thoughts are,” Lily said.

“I knew it. She’s evicting all of us to turn this entire house into a sex dungeon,” Sirius said, elbowing Remus.

“Ugh. Don’t jar me. I might get sick,” Remus said.

“I’m gonna pull out my phone. Let me know if the children settle down,” James said, disapprovingly.

“God, when you did you get boring?” Sirius said, frowning at James.

James just flipped Sirius the bird and Lily cleared her throat.

“James and I have decided that in the near future we are going to relocate to Seattle,” Lily said, then grit her teeth, waiting for their reaction.

“That makes sense,” Remus said.

“It does but… it seems sudden,” Sirius said.

“It’s not exactly. Lily is due in late July. We’d like to be settled and ready to move into somewhere new as soon as the baby is born,” James said, folding his hands in front of him on the table.

“Shit,” Sirius said, exhaling as he processed this information.

“Neither of you have to come with us. I haven’t decided what I’ll do with this house yet. I have some ideas but it’s not impossible that you could both remain here. No promises but…” Lily said.

Remus looked a little distressed so Lily reached over the table to hold his hand, smiling and looking into his eyes. He smiled back and she let go.

“Actually, Remus and I have been talking about this too. Maybe not too seriously. Remus loves Seattle. His mom is there. Apparently, his sister is thinking about moving there now,” Sirius said.

“Natalie is moving to Seattle?” Lily asked.

“Maybe. Talking about attending UW so she can be near mom,” Remus said.

“Huh,” Lily said.

“Obviously, my brother is there and… Well, I could consider more photography opportunities there. I still have connections in Portland who could help me out. And… I have money. I still have nearly a million dollars left. I don’t know how much James has left but… I would be up for helping to buy a house. Somewhere reasonable for the four of us,” Sirius said.

“I was thinking something like a three bedroom house. One bedroom for us, one for the two of you and one for guests,” James said.

“Remus, would you be OK with sharing a room with Sirius?” Lily asked.

“Maybe. I-I like my personal space sometimes,” Remus said.

“You won’t have to pay rent,” Sirius said.

“I have to pay rent. I can’t collect SSI without paying rent,” Remus said.

“Right. I forgot,” Sirius said, frowning.

“Well, your rent won’t be more than it is here,” James said.

Remus softly laughed, making Lily happy.

“I guess we’re doing this. Wow,” Lily said.

“I guess we are,” Sirius said, patting Remus on the back who definitely looked overwhelmed.

“So, what’s the plan? How do we do this?” Remus asked.

“I’m thinking after the holidays we’ll all go up to Seattle. Plan to look at some places. I’m going to start putting out feelers for a job up there. It probably won’t be anything amazing but I’ll take what I can get,” James said.

“So, when do we tell the others?” Sirius asked.

Lily cringed.

“Max will be home tomorrow, I think. Dorcas and Peter won’t be back until New Years. I don’t want to do it over the phone. I’ll tell Max tomorrow. Dorcas and Peter once they get back. They should all have plenty of time to figure out what they want to do,” Lily said.

“Well. The next eight months should be interesting,” Sirius said.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Lily laughed.

* * *

 

Lily knocked on Max’s basement door. He had moved down there once Sirius moved back last month, allowing Peter and Dorcas to move upstairs. He was gone most of the time anyway.

Max opened the door, smiling up at Lily, his short hair looking uncombed. He was wearing a sleeves black tee-shirt and blue jeans with the knees torn out. Lily was suddenly reminded why she had fallen for him in the first place.

“What’s up, babe?” Max asked.

“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?” Lily asked.

“Yeah,” Max said, stepping aside as Lily walked into the basement.

It wasn’t a large space. The walls were entirely made of wood planks. There was enough room for a small bed and a dresser but not much else. It suited someone like Max who was always on the road, delivering medical supplies up and down the coast.

Lily sat down on his bed, fondly remembering times they spent together as teens back in New Hampshire. That seemed so long ago now.

“Whew, I suddenly feel nervous,” Max said, chuckling as he sat down next to Lily.

Lily turned and smiled at him, kissing his cheek.

“Don’t be. Umm… So, James and I. And Remus and Sirius… we’ve decided to move to Seattle next year. After the baby is born,” Lily said.

“Wow. Wow. I, uh, did not see that coming,” Max said, rubbing the top of his head with a brown hand.

“Sorry. Obviously, that raises some questions. What do you want to do?” Lily asked.

“Sleep, man. I’m tired,” Max said, laughing.

“After that,” Lily chuckled.

“I don’t know. What are you going to do with this place?” Max asked, gesturing around with a hand.

“Burn it to the ground as an effigy for my baby,” Lily said, suppressing a grin.

“Cool,” Max said, playfully nudging Lily.

“Honestly, that’s why I’m talking to you. I have to do something with it. Either I’m selling it or trying to rent the rooms out. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with leaving it entirely to strangers though,” Lily said.

“Shit, Lily. You inherited this house. From your aunt. Doesn’t seem right to just throw it away,” Max said.

“Sometimes in life, I think you just… do what you can. What you have to. Life doesn’t make all your choices easy,” Lily said.

“That’s for damn sure. Hmm. What if… this is gonna sound stupid,” Max said.

“Just say it,” Lily insisted.

“What if I could sort of… house sit for you. Indefinitely,” Max said, cracking a smile but still avoiding Lily’s eyes.

“What, like run the house for me? Rent out the rooms and manage it all so that I don’t have to?” Lily asked.

“Yeah. And hey, I can charge more. Let’s face it, Lils: you kind of undercharge all of us. You could get a lot more for this place,” Max said.

“I didn’t know you thought I was a greedy capitalist pig,” Lily said, sticking her tongue out.

Max laughed.

“I don’t, babe. I’m just saying. You’ve got a baby coming. Seattle’s going to be expensive, even if you just live in the burbs,” Max said.

“Yeah. You’re probably right. Typical. So annoying,” Lily said, winking.

“Hey!” Max said, with a sharp glance.

“Kidding! Shit. So instead of me barely seeing you, I’ll never see you,” Lily said.

“Not true. You forget I make frequent trips to Seattle. I can crash there instead of getting a hotel room,” Max said.

“Ah. Right,” Lily said.

“I do miss you,” Max said and Lily turned to him.

“I miss you too,” Lily said and they both closed their eyes, leaning into a slow kiss.

Lily didn’t want the moment to end, savoring the soft feel of his lips. As if Max could hear her thoughts, he didn’t pull away, his hands suddenly on her body, roaming up. His hands cupped and squeezed her breasts.

“Ow! Shit!” Lily yelped, pulling back.

“Oh no! I’m sorry,” Max said, covering his mouth with a hand.

Lily whimpered.

“They are _so_ sore. Did you see how much they have swollen?” Lily said, groaning.

“Yeah. I mean I wasn’t going to say anything but yeah,” Max said.

“Yeah, so like. I know they are huge but just try to ignore them. Actually, maybe you should just lay back. You’re tired,” Lily said with a wink.

“What are you thinking?” Max asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m thinking that my body is kind of an aching, nauseous mess and I haven’t eaten you out in a few months,” Lily said.

“Damn,” Max said, leaning over to kiss Lily again.

He pulled away and said, “You should come down here more often.”

“Probably,” Lily said and bit her bottom lip.


	2. Precious Little Hearts

“I am definitely pregnant,” Lily said, standing naked in front of the mirror in their bedroom.

“I sure hope so. Pretending you are pregnant would be a really weird prank,” James said, typing away at his computer.

He glanced up to look over at Lily. He hadn’t been paying attention to the changes she was undergoing physically. He supposed if pressed he’d admit her breasts did look swollen and her belly a little rounder but he didn’t care about those things.

What he did care about were her other problems. Her nausea had gotten worse. She was barely getting any sleep. Her interest in sex was evaporating, though James thought that was the least of her problems. Still, camming had gone out the window which did mean less income.

James set aside his laptop and slid off the bed. He came over to her, wrapping his arms under her breasts, careful not to touch them as he kissed her cheek.

“What’s this for?” Lily asked, in a grateful tone.

“For you,” James said.

“Ugh. You know what the worst thing about this is?” Lily asked, James resting his head on her shoulder.

“What’s that?” James replied.

“I’m _so_ horny. But I feel like shit so it cancels it out,” Lily said.

“Yeah. I’ve noticed. Don’t worry about it. Just come lie back down with me. We’ll cuddle,” James said.

“It’s Christmas, James,” Lily said.

“No, _tomorrow_ is Christmas,” James replied.

“Hmm. I suppose it is,” Lily said.

Tomorrow they were all going to hang out and open presents in the morning. It wasn’t going to be as big of a production as last year, though at least Max would be here this year.

James plopped back down on the bed. Lily sat down then scooted over next to him, James wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“I’m sorry about the sex thing. You could always see if Remus is up for something,” Lily said.

James laughed.

“Nah. I’ve been letting them have space ever since Sirius moved back. I’m still worried about him. I mean he’s in therapy and he seems happy. Hasn’t been drinking. But I love him. He’s my family,” James said.

“You’re so noble. It’s one of the many reasons why I love you. A lot of poly people I’ve met don’t care. They forget that regardless of ethics or beliefs, people are still human beings, not robots,” Lily said.

“Humans with precious little hearts that can get stomped on,” James said, yawning.

“Yeah. Still. I do wonder what the future holds for our makeshift poly family,” Lily said.

“Me too. For now, I just hope Remus and Sirius are having fun,” James said, yawning again.

* * *

 

“Christ!” Remus said, shuddering as Sirius’s mouth popped off his cock.

Sirius grinned up at him.

“Don’t you grin you bastard. You are enjoying this far too much,” Remus said, Sirius’s hand squeezing his shaft and drifting up to the head, Remus tensing up with every inch.

“So? If you want to come just let me know. Personally, I think you like being tortured,” Sirius said, pulling his hand away just as his fingers brushed against the head of Remus’s cock.

Remus whimpered, willing himself not to come. Every part of him down there ached. Sirius had been edging him for well over an hour. Remus had edged himself for longer than that before but never had been edged by someone else for so long. He craved release but had to admit the madness of the urge to come was intoxicating.

Sirius pulled himself up, on his knees before Remus, fully nude. He climbed over Remus’s legs, moving up to hover over Remus’s cock.

“What if I just let you slide inside me? Feel how wet I am,” Sirius said, thrusting his pelvis suggestively.

Remus was afraid that if he did anything he might come but he still let his fingers drift between Sirius’s pale thighs, curving over dark curls to find warm flesh.

“Mmm,” Sirius moaned, making Remus’s cock twitch.

Sirius was very wet and Remus dragged wet fingertips up to his large clit, massaging it gently while Sirius moaned.

“I should make you get me off and then never let you come,” Sirius said.

“The more you moan the more I feel like coming. Won’t help,” Remus said and Sirius pulled back, wrapping his hand back around Remus’s swollen prick.

“Well, what should I do? You seem as about on the edge as I can get you,” Sirius said, his grey eyes considering Remus’s cock with kindness.

“Just finish it. I’d rather not come accidentally,” Remus said.

Sirius smiled, grabbing the lube from the chair and pouring it in his hand, wrapping both his hands around Remus’s long, thick shaft and stroking it with twists of his wrists. Remus closed his eyes, feeling the tension swiftly coming to a head.

“Mmm. Oh, God. Shit! Unnhhh,” Remus said, moaning as a mixture of pain and pleasure shot come up his torso with hard spasms of his cock.

“Merry Christmas,” Sirius said as Remus felt helpless to his orgasm.

“Yeah, Merry Christmas,” Remus gasped, looking down and seeing that Sirius was now furiously fingering himself.

“No, let me,” Remus said, struggling to breathe as he reached down and started stroking Sirius’s clit.

“Mmm,” Sirius moaned.

Luckily it didn’t take long to get Sirius off. It rarely did. Within minutes they were laying together, having made feeble attempts at cleaning up.

“Have you told your mom about the Seattle trip next month?” Sirius asked a few a minute of silence.

“Yeah. She’s excited for me to meet her friend… or girlfriend. I’m not really sure which it is,” Remus said.

“That’s good. Imagine the Christmas we could have next year,” Sirius said.

Remus snickered.

“That’d be something else,” Remus said.

“Yeah. Yeah, it would,” Sirius said then yawned.

* * *

 

“So much wrapping paper. _So_ much,” Lily said, her eyes wide at the mess they had all created.

A holiday playlist from Spotify was playing while everyone laughed and messed with their gifts. Max was kicked back drinking vegan eggnog. James was playing a video game and Remus and Sirius were talking about a book Sirius had bought Remus.

They had all offered to clean up the wrapping paper but she had naturally insisted on doing it herself, afraid of letting herself feel useless. Still, once the trash bag was half full she had to run off to pee. When she got back she found all the boys had finished the job for her.

“You assholes,” Lily said, crossing her arms.

“Shut up. You’re overworking yourself,” Sirius said.

Lily exhaled in frustration.

“Let me decide that, OK?” Lily said.

“Sorry,” Sirius said with a frown.

“No. It’s OK. I appreciate it but… Don’t treat me like I’m helpless. Please,” Lily said, tying the bag up to take it out to the trash, having expected better of them all.

As Lily came back up to the house Remus was standing on the porch, smiling with his hands in his pockets.

“Please tell me you aren’t going to lecture me or treat me like being not even two months pregnant yet means I should let all the men take care of me,” Lily said, scowling as she climbed the steps.

“Nah. I just wanted to show you something I found. I guess I’ve started packing some stuff already. I kind of dumped a bunch of papers and stuff in my dresser when I moved in. Always telling myself I’d organize it. And now I guess I am. Well… Mostly I’m throwing stuff away. Anyhow, I found this polaroid,” Remus said, passing it over to Lily.

Lily held it in front of her face and laughed, recognizing it immediately. Remus was dressed up as an elf. Lily had short blue hair and was wearing that old sweater her abuelita had made her that had stopped fitting two years before that picture was taken, leaving it uncomfortably snug. Lily was making a peace sign and sticking her tongue out. She was pretty sure Max took the photo. Somewhere off to the right her sister, Petunia, was scowling. She and Remus had been friends for only a couple of months.

“I thought I lost this,” Lily said, wiping at her eyes.

“I guess you did. But I found it for you,” Remus said.

Lily looked at him, smiling.

“Thank you. This means a lot to me,” Lily said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I don’t see why but… I knew you’d appreciate it,” Remus said as she squeezed.

“Shut up,” Lily said, knowing that he knew damn well how much his friendship meant to her.

“Fair enough,” Remus replied and she let go.

Inside the house, the Carpenters version of Sleigh Ride was playing.

 

_Let's take the road before us_

_And sing a chorus or two_

_Come on it's lovely weather_

_For a sleigh ride together with you_

 

Lily carried on, singing with the lyrics, as they went back inside, ”Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, let's go. Let's look at the show. We're riding in a wonderland of snow.”

“Ah, I _thought_ I heard an angel singing,” James said, looking backward from his place on the sofa.

“Smooth,” Lily said, winking as she headed to the bathroom.

“Always,” he replied, laughing.

* * *

 

James was getting back from a run when he noticed Dorcas’s car parked in front of the house. The engine was still on so he felt grateful to have just caught them, running up to the window. Dorcas looked uncomfortable as she rolled down the window.

“Hey, James,” Dorcas said, smiling nonetheless.

“Hey, guys. Hey, Pete. How was New Hampshire?” James asked.

“Snow,” Peter said.

James nodded, thinking that probably tracked.

“Sorry, we were just about to come inside,” Dorcas said.

“Cool. I’ll see you indoors,” James said and dashed up the steps.

After James had a decent amount of water he greeted them at the door.

“I see you didn’t burn the place down while we were gone,” Peter said.

“Despite my best efforts, of course,” James said.

The sounds of footsteps came from upstairs, Lily arriving down quickly.

“Oh my god, Lils,” Dorcas said, her face lighting up as she raced over to embrace Lily.

“I missed you too,” Lily said.

“You’re so pregnant already,” Dorcas said.

“I’ve noticed, don’t worry,” Lily said, kissing Dorcas on the cheek as they parted.

James contemplated if he should hug and kiss Peter but decided against it. His mind drifted to Remus. He did miss their makeout sessions. He was leery of encroaching on Remus and Sirius’s happiness. 

“Well, I guess we should get settled in. I need a nap,” Dorcas said.

“I don’t think I can sleep,” Peter said, following her up the stairs.

Once they were in their room James beckoned Lily over.

“What’s up, babe?” she asked.

“Did they seem weird to you?” James asked.

“They seemed tired,” Lily said, clearly not following.

“I don’t know. When I met them at the car they seemed weird,” James said.

Lily shrugged.

“Either way it’s not really our business, James,” Lily said.

James sighed.

“You’re right,” James replied.

“Yep,” she said and gave him a kiss.

Even so, as the week passed James couldn’t help but continue to notice things between Dorcas and Peter didn’t seem like it did before. Peter was wanting to spend a lot more time around James and Sirius and Dorcas was either spending her time alone or with Lily and Max. 

But if anything was wrong, Pete wasn’t talking. In fact, Pete seemed upbeat. He talked about Dorcas a lot, enthusiastically. This lead James to a presumption that it was possible Dorcas just needed space after a long month with Peter. He supposed it was also possible that she was falling out of love and Peter hadn’t realized it yet. 

James tried to remind himself that it wasn’t any of his business but Peter had a hard time with love. Peter’s last girlfriend, Maddy, had also seemingly grown out of love with him, unceremoniously dumping him on the spot with no explanation as if she had just grown bored of him.

New Year’s Eve arrived and Lily sat Dorcas and Peter down that morning to tell them their plans for the following year.

“Wow. Wow,” Dorcas said, taking her glasses off to wipe them as if that would make things clearer.

“So, the two of you can remain here with Max and some other people or you can move with us up to Seattle,” James said.

“Dude! That’s so cool!” Peter said.

“Cool and practical. Anyhow, you guys don’t have to decide this minute but in a couple of weeks we’re going to go up there to look at houses,” James said.

“Wow,” Dorcas repeated, seeming unable to produce a different response.

“Aww, I’m sorry if we overwhelmed you,” Lily said, placing a hand on Dorcas’s forearm affectionately.

“It’s OK. Just surprised. That’s going to be a hard choice,” Dorcas said, rubbing her forehead and looking stressed.

“How is that a hard choice? I’m in. All the way,” Peter said.

“It’s a lot to think about. Moving out here to Oregon was hard. I hate moving. But I moved here for Lily and Max. I like it here. I’m not sure how I would feel about living in the city. That idea gives me a headache,” Dorcas said.

“We probably won’t be able to afford anything in the city proper. But in the metro, yeah,” James said.

“Still too much. For me, anyhow,” Dorcas said.

“For the record, whatever we get, we’ll probably have a spare room for guests so you guys could come up there and stay as long as you wanted. You could live in both places. It’s not really any pressure,” James said.

“I need time to think. I’m sorry,” Dorcas said, not meeting their eyes.

Peter looked confused and shrugged. The two of them left and James and Lily sat in silence for a moment.

“Sucks that they aren’t on the same page,” Lily said.

“Yeah. Peter seems all for it,” James replied.

“That’s the trouble with making these big decisions. We’re all so young. Not to be downbeat but Peter and Dorcas probably aren’t going to work out,” Lily said.

“I can’t believe pregnancy has turned you into a cynic,” James said.

Lily’s green eyes looked sharply at him and he laughed.

“I’m joking, I’m joking. But yeah. I mean most relationships don’t. Shit, sometimes I think about the fact that we’ve only known each other for a year and here we are having a fucking baby and getting a house together. That’s like, objectively stupid, right?” James said.

“It’s kinda nuts. But I think we just need to keep a healthy outlook. We both know that everything in life is fragile. Sometimes I think you just have to take risks. I’ve never been the type to just be passive. I like making choices. Even the stupid ones. But personally, I think you’re one of the best choices I’ve ever made,” Lily said, leaning over in her chair.

James also leaned forward, closing his eyes into a slow kiss. It lingered and in an instant they were making out right there in the dining room, scooting their chairs closer.

“Damn,” James said when Lily finally pulled away.

“I think I’m kind of in the mood,” Lily said.

“For real?” James asked.

“Totally. Meet you upstairs?” Lily said.

“I’m already there,” James said and kissed her again.

* * *

 

“Hey!” Marlene said as Lily opened the door, the two of them kissing instantly.

New Year’s was only a few short hours away and Lily had invited her over, realizing that they probably would never have another chance.

“I’m so glad you came,” Lily said as Marlene pulled off her jacket, hanging it on the rack.

“Anything for you,” Marlene replied.

“I baked some cookies,” Lily said, lifting the bowl that was on the table behind the sofa.

“Ooo,” Marlene said, rushing over and grabbing one.

She took a bite and said, “Thanks,” Lily proud for another happy mouth.

“So, um… while I’ve got you nice and satisfied and your mouth is stuffed with my cookies… it looks like the move thing is happening,” Lily said and gritted her teeth.

Marlene only nodded. Lily waited for a response and quickly realized her folly.

“Ah, I was going to ask for a response but my ploy has backfired,” Lily said.

Marlene smirked, swallowed and said, “It’s fine. From the moment we spoke about it I knew it would happen,” Marlene said.

“Yeah. I know. I just feel… rotten. And I feel excited which makes me feel even more rotten.”

Lily frowned, looking down. On top of the weirdness with Dorcas and Peter, today was more emotional than she cared for.

“Look. We’ve already had this conversation. Let’s just enjoy the time that we have and let our hearts break later. OK?” Marlene asked, lifting Lily’s chin up.

“OK,” Lily said reluctantly smiling as they kissed again.

She leaned back and wiped at her eyes. She needed to summon everyone to come down so they could watch movies as planned.

* * *

 

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Happy New Year’s!”

Everyone erupted at once. Sirius clutched Remus, kissing him so hard it stung a little as they pulled away.

“Ow,” Remus laughed, touching his lips with his fingers.

Around them Lily was running around kissing everyone, making quick work of Remus and Sirius. Sirius used to think this stuff was stupid but now he had to begrudgingly admit he liked it. He could sense, however, that Remus was ready to get out of there so he slipped his fingers together with Remus’s and gestured his head upstairs. Remus looked in his eyes and nodded.

“Goodnight everyone,” Sirius said, waving.

“What the fuck?” James shouted.

“Piss off,” Sirius said, flipping the bird as they exited the living room.

“Thanks,” Remus said with a low chuckle as they made it to his attic room.

“No problem,” Sirius said.

“I was trying to hang in there but it gets a bit much. At some point, I just want to hear myself think and to not feel… exposed,” Remus said.

“Maybe 2016 is the year you’ll stop feeling exposed. The year things will start getting better,” Sirius said, falling back on Remus’s bed.

“I hope so. Every time I look at the news I just want to find a hole to hide in,” Remus said, not sounding convinced.

“Don’t worry. Trump’s gonna get his ass kicked by the Republicans once the primaries start. And then Bernie is gonna beat Hillary. And then he’ll be president,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed.

“Bernie is not going to beat Hillary. Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna support him until he’s out but that’s not happening,” Remus said.

“What about Trump?” Sirius said.

“Not a chance, obviously. Still, I’ll feel a lot better once he’s really out,” Remus said.

“You and me both. Oh, by the way, I’ve learned the hard way not to talk about Bernie around James. He’s supporting Hillary,” Sirius said.

“I know. It’s not a big deal. _You_ just like to push his buttons,” Remus said.

“Guilty as charged,” Sirius said but added, “James can take it, though.”

“I bet he can,” Remus replied.

“But not as well as I can,” Sirius said with a suggestive tilt of his head.

“Wait. No, that’s not what I meant,” Remus said, laughing.

“I’m just fucking with you. Sort of. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” Sirius said, deliberately fishing for information.

“You or James?” Remus asked, turning his chair.

“James,” Sirius said.

“Why would you want to know?” Remus asked, furrowing his brow.

Sirius sighed.

“I don’t know. I think I just want to show… that it doesn’t bother me. I know I had the whole thing in Portland but I’m better now. You and James have chemistry and I’m not threatened by that. And I think I’d rather tell you that than just be nervous about it all,” Sirius said.

“I think he’s been busy. You aren’t keeping us apart. I guess I have given you priority but that’s a priority over Lily too and she’s my best friend,” Remus said.

“True,” Sirius said.

“Things between James and I will happen when they happen. If they happen. Neither of us is dying any time soon,” Remus said.

“Good. Now climb into bed and snuggle with me. I want to start 2016 off right,” Sirius said.

“Your wish is my command,” Remus said and got into bed.

* * *

 

The morning of New Year’s Day, Lily found Dorcas sitting on the back porch alone.

“Whatcha doin’?” Lily asked, coming out and sitting down next to her.

“Feeling kinda down,” Dorcas said.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“Thanks. I’m pregnant,” Dorcas said.

“Oh,” Lily said, realizing that she didn’t say it in a happy tone.

“So, you don’t have to ask, I’m getting an abortion. As soon as I can tell Peter,” Dorcas said.

“Peter doesn’t know you’re going to get an abortion?”

“Peter doesn’t know I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.”

Lily tried to think of what to say. She felt like she had once been good at advice but adulthood grew ever more complicated.

“How long have you known?” Lily asked.

“Took the test in New Hampshire, right before we came back. As soon as I tell Peter he’s going to get excited. He’s made some comments. He might be a little pro-lifey and he’s talked about having kids and… look, I love him but I think he and I are at different places in terms of this relationship right now,” Dorcas said.

“Geez. I’m sorry,” Lily said.

“I thought about not telling him. But if he ever found out… it’d be awkward. And who knows? Maybe he’ll prove me wrong,” she said.

“Maybe. Either way, I’ll give you a ride when the time comes,” Lily said.

“Thanks,” Dorcas said and laid her head on Lily’s shoulder.

Lily kissed the top of her head, wondering when life got so hard.


	3. House Hunting

“We’re looking at ten houses this weekend. _Ten_ ,” James said as they all entered the hotel room.

“That’s great, how many of them can I eat? Cause I’m hungry enough to eat a house,” Lily said.

“I second that,” Remus said, falling down on the bed nearest the window, already tired.

For simplicity, they were all sharing a room this weekend, himself and Sirius in one bed, James and Lily in the other. He supposed if the four of them were going to be living together they had best get used to this dynamic.

The night before Lily had gotten final word that Dorcas and Peter weren’t coming with them. Remus hated to admit that he was glad. Living in a house with fewer people would do wonders for his anxiety. He wouldn’t have to hide away so much. Maybe if they found a nice neighborhood he could even find the courage to go on walks.

“Yes, food. But we have to be at the first house by noon so we’ve gotta eat fast,” James said.

Their hotel was near the airport since that was in the vicinity of some of the houses. James hadn’t found anything in Seattle proper that was suitable. The most affordable houses were very far south of Seattle but none of them wanted to live that far away.

Remus was nervous about the prospect of sharing a room with Sirius. He loved Sirius but he enjoyed having his own space to retreat to. It would be a sacrifice to be sure.

They got breakfast and pie at a diner then headed to the first house. Luckily they were only looking at three that day. The rest would be on Saturday then they were heading home on Sunday.

The first house looked very nice from the outside but that turned out be deceptive. The inside smelled strange and the floorplan was unusual. None of them liked that one so there wasn’t much debate, beyond Lily pointing out that it was cheaper than the others.

The next house was cute. A small, red house in the middle of a nice neighborhood. It was fenced in so they could get a dog, assuming the cat wouldn’t mind. The floors were all wood. Looked like it’d had recent renovations.

“How old is this place? Pretty old, right?” Sirius asked.

“Built in 1938 but it’s had lots of work done, obviously,” the realtor answered.

It looked nice but you could certainly tell that someone’s grandparents had lived there.

“It’s small. Too small,” Lily said.

“I’m inclined to agree,” James said and they shortly carried onto the third house.

The house was tantalizingly close to the beach, far closer than they were in Oregon. Hardly even a three-minute walk. It was on the pricier end of houses so Remus thought it would really have to impress.

“This place is kind of odd,” the realtor warned as she opened the front door and flipped on the lights.

“Hey, that’s a loft!” Sirius said as soon as they were inside.

“Oh, this is the one with the loft,” James said, sounding pleased.

The design was very interesting. Immediately in front of the doorway were wooden stairs that lead up to the loft, which visually seemed maybe only a little smaller than James and Lily’s current bedroom. The living room was next to the stairs, a space a lot bigger than their current living room.

More compact was the space for the kitchen, utilities and one of the two bathrooms. But at the very least everything seemed new and the bathroom didn’t seem small. There didn’t seem to be any place for the baby, which struck Remus as a problem but he thought he would let James and Lily think about that.

“I’m in love with this loft, James,” Lily said.

“Fair enough. Don’t hype it too much. Also, where is the other bedroom?” James asked.

This was also one of the few two bedroom places they were looking at. If Remus had his way that’s all they’d be looking at.

“Oh, come this way,” the realtor said and lead them past the kitchen and into the backyard.

The backyard was fully fenced in and surrounded by trees on all sides. The wooden porch lead around to a second, smaller building which the realtor unlocked.

“This was a later addition. I’m not sure why it was built but it’s a second bedroom and a bathroom. Even a tiny kitchen space. You could get a little fridge to put in here,” she said.

Something about this room spoke to Remus. It was larger than his attic but it also had more room for furniture. He could get a better desk. He wouldn’t only have one window as there was two in the corner and one big one facing where he presumed a bed was meant to go.

“Oh my god. I could sleep in a normal size bed!” Remus said.

“I think Remus is excited too,” Lily said.

“Fair enough,” James said.

“It’s like a little hotel. I bet they were renting this place out. Built it just for that,” Sirius said then added, “Remus, come look at the bathroom. There’s a shower!”

Remus dashed over, feeling like a child. The bathroom looked even nicer than the one inside the house. This was heaven.

Eventually, they were persuaded to leave that room and look at the yard. There was also a substantial shed and space in the center of the yard for a garden. It was all very cute and Remus didn’t even feel like there was a reason in the world to look at the other houses. James pulled them all together in the front yard without the realtor.

“So, this one is the only one we’re feeling today, right?” James asked.

“One hundred percent,” Lily said.

“See, here’s the thing. For all I know, someone has already put an offer on this house. And if we don’t make an offer fast… it’s just not going to stick around. My mom did real estate when I was younger and I did some research. That’s just how it is,” James said.

“So, we have to decide whether to go all in on this house because if we don’t we’ve lost it,” Remus said, his heart racing.

“Something like that. I mean, hey, they might turn down our offer. I don’t know why since we’ve got cash. But I trust my agent. I think she’ll do a good job,” James said.

“Vote?” Lily asked.

“I say aye,” Remus said.

“Aye,” Sirius said.

“Aye,” Lily said.

James laughed and said, “Aye.”

They all placed their hands together then threw them up with a cheer.

* * *

 

Lily was very relieved to get back to the hotel room and to get a nice bath. She was hoping the house worked out for no other reason than she didn’t want to walk around looking at seven more houses tomorrow. Her feet were killing her after three, to say nothing of the rest of her.

There was tapping on the bathroom door and she told them to come in. James walked inside and sat down on the toilet next to her.

“How you feeling?” James asked.

“Tired. Excited. Nervous. Tired. I think I might have repeated one of those,” Lily said.

“Same. Especially the nervous. That’s a lot of money Sirius and I are putting up. It’s a good thing we trust each other with our lives. If it all goes wrong we both lose big,” James said.

Lily smiled up at him.

“It’ll be fine. Are we still planning to look at all those other houses tomorrow?” Lily asked.

“Well. Some of them are already off the market believe it not. We might look at the more promising ones. God, I can’t believe I might’ve bought a house. What the fuck,” James said, sounding genuinely shocked.

“Is that more or less shocking than making a baby? Time travel back a year ago and tell yourself both facts. Which shocks you more?” Lily asked.

James laughed uncomfortably.

“The baby, I suppose. But only by a hair,” James said.

“Fair. At least neither of those things happened by accident. You had to choose,” Lily said.

“I’ve gotta say trying to make a baby with you is a lot more fun than spending piles of money,” James said.

Lily laughed and nodded.

“I hear that. Speaking of which, feeling really horny and wish we had this hotel room to ourselves,” Lily said.

“Damn, I didn’t think you’d be wanting sex again so fast,” James said.

“Yeah, me either. It’s fleeting but I blame my naturally high sex drive,” Lily said.

“Fair. I’m not complaining. Maybe we should see if the boys are down for a four-way,” James said, obviously joking.

“OK,” Lily said, deciding to play it serious just to watch how James reacts.

“Oh. Uh. I was joking,” James said, looking a little panicked.

“Playing with fire there, James,” Lily said, flashing him a smirk.

“I mean. I’m not a prude. But that feels… I don’t know. Not now. Not here. Some missing steps,” he stammered.

Lily laughed.

“Relax. Now go get into bed so we can cuddle at least,” Lily said.

“OK. Love you,” he said.

“Love you too,” Lily said and he left the bathroom.

* * *

 

James’s brain stayed disengaged while they looked at the rest of the viable houses on Saturday. He just couldn’t find it in him to care. As they wore on he started to wish he had been caring as he hadn’t had a call back from his agent about his offer yet. The house had been on the market for a bit, the price having been marked down a bunch of times. He figured the offers were either never good enough or weren’t coming much at all.

It wasn’t until they were back at the hotel after having gotten dinner that he finally heard back.

“Well?” Lily asked as soon as James had hung up.

“They accepted our offer,” James said and everyone cheered.

“I can’t believe it!” Sirius said.

“Now, wait, relax. It’s not over. We’re going to have an inspector look at it to see if there’s any repairs we can make them do or get them to knock down the price a little more. We’re still a bit from closing but for now… we’re in,” James said, hardly able to believe it himself.

“And what better way to celebrate our good fortune by going to see a movie,” Sirius said.

“Not just any movie. Star Wars. Show some respect,” James said.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens had been out for a few weeks now but they hadn’t gotten around to seeing it. At some point, they all decided a theater up here would be nicer than what they had anyway. And that turned out to be correct. The theater was very nice with the sort of seats that let you lounge back.

James cried a lot during the movie and was pretty sure the others were too. Despite him teasing Sirius about Star Wars, Sirius was the one who got him into Star Wars in the first place. Just another thing about their friendship that continued to be rewarding. They all seemed to have almost forgotten about the house until they got back to the hotel.

“So, who is coming back with me next weekend?” James asked.

“I’ll pass. I need all the work hours I can get,” Lily said.

“I’m in. I want to visit Regulus,” Sirius said.

“I’ll come,” Remus said.

“All right. Boys trip. I love it,” James said, pleased that he wouldn’t be stuck up here alone.

* * *

 

“This is nice,” Sirius said, his arms around Remus as they stood on the top deck of the ferry that was taking them to Bainbridge Island right across from Downtown Seattle.

James would be busy with house stuff for a while so they were meeting Regulus for lunch.

“It’s cold. Colder than it was in October,” Remus said.

“Well, nothing’s perfect,” Sirius said.

“I suppose not,” Remus replied then added, “Except for you, of course.”

Sirius laughed and kissed the side of his boyfriend’s head.

“If one of us is perfect it’s not me,” Sirius said.

“I’m not perfect. I’m a joke,” Remus said.

“Let’s just acknowledge that perfection is an illusion and that by our own arbitrary standards we are _both_ perfect,” Sirius said.

“Fair,” Remus said and they were quiet for the rest of the trip.

At the dock, they got off and began walking to the Thai restaurant Regulus wanted to meet at which wasn’t too far from where he lived. His wife, Abigail, was unfortunately busy and wouldn’t be able to come.

“I love Thai iced tea. I don’t even care what I eat, I just need some of that,” Remus said as they walked inside.

The place seemed mostly empty. Sirius supposed it wasn’t exactly tourist season.

“I’ll make sure you have an abundance,” Sirius said.

He finally spotted Regulus waiting in a corner so they wandered over. It was good to see his brother smile. Not too long ago he had believed his brother dead, only to discover that his death had been faked and he was now living in hiding.

Regulus stood up and hugged them both. When Sirius had encountered him in October, Regulus had ran. Ran out of fear. Ran out of shame. Perhaps he ran for reasons he didn’t fully understand.

A waitress came over after a few minutes of them looking at their menus. Remus was gleeful at ordering his iced tea. Sirius got one too for good measure.

“So, I’ve made a decision. It took a lot of talking to Abigail and the conversations that you and I have had. I think I’m ready. I’m ready to reveal that I’m alive,” Regulus said, looking very afraid to even admit that.

“That’s great. I’m proud of you, little brother,” Sirius said, reaching over to touch his shoulder.

“Thanks. I’m gonna need a lawyer. A good one,” Regulus said.

“Also you need to talk to Andromeda,” Sirius said.

“I already have. I didn’t want to spring this on her. She says that our family has so many connections that it shouldn’t matter. Though something about that rubs me the wrong way. I just don’t want her taking the fall for me,” Regulus said.

“What about Narcissa?” Sirius said, thinking she really wasn’t going to be happy.

“Uh. Yeah, about that,” Regulus said and coughed.

Sirius heard footsteps coming their way, thinking it was the waitress but instead finding his cousin standing there looking as austere as usual.

“Hello, Sirius,” she said and sat down next to Regulus.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me again? Something, something, threat, yada yada,” Sirius said.

“Very funny. You aren’t in Portland anymore and don’t seem like much of a threat. I heard about your little breakdown, by the way. Pity,” Narcissa said coldly.

“I never cared about your drama to begin with,” Sirius said.

Regulus and Remus both looked very uncomfortable.

“My drama will be over in the fullness of time. My Draco will be born and shortly thereafter I’ll expose my husband’s affairs then divorce him and take as much of his money as I can. After all, I supported him through these years, provided him connections and donations,” she said.

“Woo, that’s rich. The hypocrisy. Not that I care, to be clear,” Sirius said, remembering catching Narcissa and her girlfriend at a club all too well.

Her blue eyes bore into him and she gave him a wicked smile.

“Maybe your brother should explain why I’m here,” she said.

“So, Narcissa has offered to fully fund my legal needs and she knows all the right things to do to make this process easier on us all. But there’s a price,” Regulus said.

Sirius’s heart sank, immediately realizing where this was going.

“God,” Sirius said, his face falling into his hands.

Just then, the waitress brought their food, as if the universe was determined to make sure Sirius’s misery was prolonged. Once she was gone Narcissa explained the price: “I will give your brother all the help he needs but in exchange, I want proof Lucius is having an affair.”

“I just knew you were going to say that. Why me?” Sirius said.

“I appreciate irony, for one. For another… my husband doesn’t trust anyone. He’s a suspicious and careful man. You are family. Lucius cares a great deal about family. He’ll never respect or like you but he might trust you. Especially since you don’t like me. He’ll never believe someone who hates me so much would be working for me,” Narcissa said.

Sirius sighed.

“I don’t hate you, Narcissa. I don’t like you or respect you but I don’t hate you,” Sirius said.

Narcissa looked momentarily uncomfortable, cleared her throat then said, “Well, you better start acting like you do.”

“No. You’ve gotta sweeten the pot. If this goes ass up it’ll ruin my life and Regulus’s. I’ll need to be paid. Handsomely,” Sirius said.

“Don’t insult me. Of course, I’ll pay you. I’m a capitalist. Don’t forget that,” she said.

“Fair enough. So, as you said, I don’t live in Portland anymore. And I have no intention to go back,” Sirius said.

“Lucius’s affairs are never in Portland. He’s got a few girls up here in Seattle. At least one in San Francisco. One in New York. Maybe Paris. I’ll settle for the girls in Seattle. You’re moving up here, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Yes, but how did you know that?” Sirius asked, narrowing his eyes.

“I told her. Sorry,” Regulus said, looking embarrassed as he tried to focus on his food.

Sirius groaned.

“Yeah, I am. But not for a while. I mean, I’m sure I’ll be up here but… And how exactly am I going to befriend Lucius?” Sirius asked.

“Leave that to me. He comes up here frequently enough for busy dealings that it shouldn’t be a problem,” Narcissa said and started to stand up.

“You’re just going to leave?” Sirius said, annoyed.

“I’ll be in touch,” she said, walking away.

“I didn’t say yes!” Sirius said but she was gone.

“Sorry,” Regulus said.

Sirius sighed and grabbed his Thai iced tea, taking a sip.

“Mmm. That is delicious,” Sirius said.

“Yep,” Remus replied.

“At least something good came out of this. No. I’m kidding. I’m happy you are coming out of hiding Regulus. Just not so happy about being manipulated by Narcissa,” Sirius said.

Regulus said nothing and just ate. Sirius figured he should do the same.

* * *

 

When they got back to the hotel James was lounging back in bed.

“Hey, fellas. The inspection went well. Some small issues but I got them to knock down the price a little. I’ll come back next weekend and we’ll close. They’re pretty excited, I think since we aren’t paying with a loan and it’s been sitting there a while. I’m kind of stunned by how easy this turned out to be,” James said.

“Me too,” Sirius said.

Remus sat down on the other bed, wishing he had more time to appreciate Seattle while they were there.

“So, James… Something weird happened today,” Sirius said.

“Oh yeah?” James asked, perking up as Sirius sat down next to Remus.

“I might need to… at least partially… live in the new house off and on for a bit. For a job,” Sirius said.

“A job? Like a photography job?” James asked.

“Something like that. It pays really well. Sort of an offer I can’t refuse,” Sirius said, Remus thinking that was a depressingly accurate way of describing it.

“I mean, I don’t have any problem with that. I figured we’ll be coming up here all the time anyway to get things ready. August will sneak up on us if we aren’t careful,” James said.

“Yeah, definitely,” Remus said, thinking it seemed far but very close.

Remus wasn’t sure why Sirius didn’t want to clue James in on the details. It was possible he knew James would be appalled and want to get involved which would only end badly for everyone. James didn’t know how to give up a fight when he was right about something. It was one of his more admirable traits but also a dangerous one.

James would question it further eventually but for now, he seemed to be on a high because of the house. He didn’t even mention anything on the long drive back down the following day.

When they got back home in Oregon, Lily was waiting on the front porch, looking slightly distressed.

“What’s up, Lils?” James asked as they got out of the car.

“It’s long a story,” she replied with a long sigh.

“Oh boy,” Sirius said quietly.

“Peter has taken off. No one knows where he is,” Lily said.

“What? Why?” James asked.

“You were right about Peter and Dorcas, James. But there’s other stuff. Personal stuff. It doesn’t matter. The point is they had a fight and now he’s taken off,” Lily said.

“I’ll look for him,” James said, starting to march back towards his car.

“Where?” Lily asked.

“I don’t know. I’m hoping I’ll figure it out as I go,” James replied.

There was no use stopping him. Remus figured he’d be back in an hour with no clue, anyway.

“Well, it’s nice to be back,” Sirius said, going inside.

“Yeah,” Remus said, following suit.

James failed to find Peter, of course. He showed up a couple of days later, very quiet and claiming he had traveled home to San Francisco. Remus didn’t buy it and doubted Dorcas did either but everyone was just glad he was all right at that point.


	4. A Tangled Web

“This is heaven,” Lily said, James’s lips at her throat, a hand on her thigh as he thrust into her as they lay on their sides.

Lily was surprised now that she entered her second trimester that not only had her sex drive returned, but she was hornier than ever. Unfortunately, constant sex wasn’t practical and she was still getting the odd bits of nausea and discomfort but she took it when she could get it.

James’s hand pushed the hand on her clitoris out of the way, insisting on doing the work himself. She was close and would’ve been pissed at him doing that if she hadn’t came once already. She could tell James really wanted this as desperately as she did, not just because he had said so. They were both lost in the moment.

She came again and that must’ve been too much for James, who cried out, pushing deep as she squeezed down on his thickness. And then came the calm which quickly gave way to an unbearable desire to go pee.

Once she was back James was asleep. Not surprising. He’d been a very busy boy over the last month and this weekend they were all going back up to Seattle. Remus, Sirius, and James were all going up. Remus and Sirius were going to be staying in the new place for a week while Sirius handled whatever this new job he had was. Something about that bugged Lily but she supposed it wasn’t her business. Still, even Remus didn’t seem clear on what exactly he was going to be doing.

Lily considered trying to get to sleep but she was wired. And her nose was stuffy. She went downstairs, thinking a nice herbal tea might help clear her sinuses and then she could sleep. When she arrived in the kitchen Dorcas was there, leaning over the countertop and looking at her phone.

“Hey,” Lily said and Dorcas jumped.

“Shit,” Dorcas said, laughing and taking a big breath as she regained her composure.

“Sorry,” Lily said, putting the kettle on the stove.

Dorcas yawned.

“You having trouble sleeping too?” Lily asked.

“Something like that. Waiting for Peter to get home,” Dorcas said, sounding equal parts disappointed and frustrated.

“Where does he even go?” Lily asked, leaning against the counter next to the sink while her water boiled.

“That’s the thing. I have no idea. As far as I know, he doesn’t even have any other friends,” Dorcas said, setting her phone face down on the counter and then lifting herself up to sit down next to it.

“He used to never leave the house. Oh. Sorry, I shouldn’t say that,” Lily said, immediately filled with regret.

“It’s OK. I know. Believe me, I know. And I’m trying to be chill. When he got back from that shit he pulled last month I was really chill but I’m officially starting to run low on chill,” Dorcas said, throwing her hands up.

“That’s fair. Seems like something is going on,” Lily said, going back to getting her tea ready, pulling out a tea bag.

“And I hate having to be that girl but I think maybe he’s cheating on me. Which is so stupid because I’m poly. If he wants to have sex with other people he could just say so. He doesn’t need to sneak around like a rat,” Dorcas said.

“But who would he be cheating with? Peter’s never exactly been a Lothario,” Lily said with a snicker, knowing that was maybe a little mean.

“I know but it’s all I have to go on,” Dorcas said.

Lily’s water finished boiling and the sounds of the front door unlocking could be heard.

“About time,” Dorcas said, hopping off the counter.

Peter wandered in and Lily hoped her tea would steep extra fast so she could get the hell out of there and avoid the awkward scene.

“Hey girls,” Peter said, smiling a little uncomfortably.

Lily quietly scoffed, her face away from Peter.

“Where have you been?” Dorcas asked.

“Just driving around. Thought about seeing a movie but there was nothing I wanted to see,” Peter said.

“Just driving around? Look, Peter. Can we be honest with each other? I feel like something isn’t working here between us. We need to pause and assess what’s going on. You’re trying to detach without saying a word. Does our relationship mean that little to you?” Dorcas asked.

“Uhhh. I don’t know where this is coming from,” Peter said.

“Of course you don’t. Until you can figure it out, I’m going to sleep on the couch. Goodnight, Peter,” Dorcas said and marched out of the kitchen.

Lily removed her teabag, quickly stirred then left the kitchen without so much as a glance at Peter.

* * *

 

They walked into the house. This was it, Remus thought. The beginning of the next phase of their life. And the week when he was finally going to submit his rewrite of Reliquary of Blood to his publisher. Well, the first part of it. It was too long for one novel so he had split it into two, which could become three if things went well. He had some ideas on how to expand the middle part of the story.

His publishers weren’t hot shit or anything but they had a thirst for his sort of content. The sad truth was that after working so much on the story he was starting to fall out of love with it. Or he was just tired of looking at it.

“Check it out, boys. Furniture!” James said, gesturing around.

There still wasn’t a ton of furniture but there was a rather large sofa, a few tables, a dining table, and the loft seemed to have a bed already.

“Remus and I will make sure to break it all in,” Sirius said.

“Absolute perverts,” James replied, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“That wasn’t what I meant but thanks for the idea,” Sirius said, giving Remus a playful glance, making his cheeks feel hot.

“I’m joking anyhow. I don’t care. Much,” James said.

Remus carried on to see what other little things James had added. The kitchen seemed untouched thus far. He and Sirius had promised to go shopping more while they were here but Remus just wanted to go sit on the beach. That was funny.He wanted to be outside. The thought of going for walks and exploring seemed exciting here in a way it had never seemed in Oregon. How novel, he thought.

Remus left the kitchen. In the hall were the washer and dryer, on the outside wall surrounding the kitchen. The units were already new and apparently worked, which was a comfort. It wouldn’t be good to be here for a week and not be able to do any laundry. The backdoor opened, Sirius heading out of it. Remus followed him.

Sirius already had his old bed from Portland delivered here in January. It was plenty big for the both of them. Sirius unlocked their cottage and Remus caught up.

“Not exactly my apartment in Portland but… it’s not bad,” Sirius said.

“Hey, I’m judging against my attic. This is luxury living,” Remus said, flipping on the light.

Remus had worried the bed was taking up too much space but it looked like there was still plenty of room for other furniture and a desk. Which reminded him he still needed to order a new desk. He was putting it off. Sirius wanted to pay for it but Remus still had trouble accepting those sorts of gifts even though he couldn’t possibly pay for a new one himself.

Sirius hopped on the bed, putting his arms behind his head, grinning from ear to ear.

“I hope they fix up the garden. Be nice to have a pleasant view while you have your way with me,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed, shaking his head.

“Things have changed so much,” Remus said.

“Understatement of the century. A year ago you were still my reclusive hottie in the attic,” Sirius said, sliding off the bed and walking over.

“Your what?” Remus asked, tilting his head and trying not to laugh.

“Don’t judge me. It was how I used to think of you. When I moved in I thought you might be Lily’s boyfriend. You could’ve been anyone,” Sirius said, arriving in front of Remus by the window, placing a hand on his shoulder

“Instead I was no one,” Remus said, giving Sirius a crooked smile.

“Shut up,” Sirius laughed then kissed him.

“Should I come in with my eyes open or closed? Exactly how scandalized am I going to be?” James asked from the doorway.

Sirius pulled away and said, “Best close your eyes. Cover them with your hands. No… better get a really good blindfold.”

“A blindfold? Hmm. Maybe some other time. I just wanted to see if you guys were down for dinner. There’s allegedly a nice sushi place not far from here,” James said.

“I’ll just get chicken teriyaki. I always do,” Remus said.

“Fair enough. I’ll take that as a yes,” James said, gesturing at them to follow him.

* * *

 

The instructions were clear. Almost too clear. But Sirius still went over them again and again as he stood in the bathroom, washing his hands for far too long. Narcissa got him a room at the hotel Lucius was staying at. But his real goal was going to be waiting downstairs for Lucius to check in and make sure they recognized each other.

He couldn’t take a camera. She told him to check his phone as little and rarely as possible. The rest would require luck and an ability to kiss the ass of a narcissistic Republican dickhead. Oh, Lucius was trying to play himself as a Democrat now but Sirius knew better. Sirius remembered with loathing that there were primaries this week.

Sirius stared at himself in the mirror.

“This isn’t a big deal. This is just like a stupid prank. James and I did worse,” he told himself.

He sighed and headed out. Remus was in the living room, lounging on the couch while he did stuff on his laptop. He was going to his publishers tomorrow. He had already submitted the manuscript online but they apparently wanted to meet him in person. Sirius hoped nothing with Lucius interfered since Remus couldn’t drive and Sirius wasn’t about to abandon him to his anxiety.

“Leaving to stalk Lucius Malfoy?” Remus asked.

“I guess. I’m kind of hoping I fuck it up. I want to believe Narcissa won’t really deny my brother help,” Sirius said.

There was a knock at the front door. Remus and Sirius both looked at each other in confusion. Sirius opened the door and bore witness to the largest man he had ever seen in real life. He must’ve been at least seven feet tall and he was _wide_. He had long, shaggy black hair and a beard to match. Sirius’s first thought was that this man could break him in a heartbeat if he wanted to.

Instead, he was standing there grinning and holding out what appeared to be a cake.

“Hi?” Sirius said.

“Hello. Rubeus Hagrid, but my friends just call me Hagrid,” the large man said.

“Pleased to meet you,” Sirius said and made to shake his hand but they were still occupied.

“The cake is for you. I saw stuff coming here and I knew someone must’ve moved in. Is it just the two of you?” Hagrid asked, Sirius taking the cake and seeing that Remus was standing behind him.

“For the moment. We’re not actually fully moved in. We’re just here on business,” Sirius said.

The cake looked kind of lumpy but he thought it would probably be fine.

“Ah. Sorry, I don’t mean to be nosy. I’m your neighbor by the way. I live across the road,” Hagrid said.

“Oh. You’re the owner of that sizable dog. A mastiff?” Sirius asked.

Hagrid laughed.

“Oh, no, no. Fang is a boarhound,” Hagrid said.

“Fang? Cool name,” Sirius said.

“Thank you. Thank you,” Hagrid said.

There was something interesting about this man. Sirius was initially frightened of him but in truth, there was a nervousness to him. A sadness. He was lonely. Sirius realized Hagrid was probably used to putting people off by his size.

“Well, we appreciate the cake, Hagrid. Don’t be a stranger,” Sirius said.

Hagrid had a hint of a frown but instead smiled, reaching over to shake Sirius’s hand. Sirius felt certain that Hagrid’s hand was much larger than his entire face. Hagrid shook Remus’s hand and then he was gone.

“Well, he seems nice,” Remus said.

“Yeah. He does. Well, I’m off. You behave yourself,” Sirius said, sarcastically wagging his finger at Remus.

“You know me. I’m trouble,” Remus said, flopping back on the sofa.

As Sirius drove up to downtown Seattle trouble was on his mind. He thought he should’ve rejected all of this. They didn’t need Narcissa. Regulus could get through this without her.

Even still, he checked into his room and awaited Lucius’s arrival in the lobby, pretending to be waiting for a friend. After an hour of waiting Sirius wondered if this was a waste of his time and Lucius had changed his plans but the man finally marched up to check-in, looking as full of himself as ever, carrying that absurd cane that he didn’t really need. His white-blond hair was pulled back in a tiny ponytail that Sirius thought looked ridiculous.

After Lucius finished checking in Sirius was forced to make his move.

“Lucius!” Sirius shouted at him.

Lucius stopped walking and turned to look at Sirius with a scowl. He appeared to scoff and sauntered over to Sirius.

“Yes? What do you want?” Lucius asked.

“Ah. Just wanted to say hi. I’m Narcissa’s cousin, Sirius,” Sirius said.

“I know who you are, idiot. The photographer. There, you’ve said hi,” Lucius said and started to walk away.

Sirius started to panic. Should he let Lucius walk away? What could he possibly say to keep him interested? Narcissa wanted him to sell Lucius on the fact that he hated her.

“Narcissa is having an affair,” Sirius said.

Lucius stopped in his tracks and Sirius regret every choice in his life that lead him to this moment.

“What did you say?” Lucius replied, his voice cold and almost threatening.

“When I lived in Portland I saw her out with this guy. I guess maybe they were just friends but I kinda thought…” Sirius said.

He resolved to not out Narcissa as bisexual against her will. She knew she wouldn’t be happy about him even going this far but it was the only card he had to play and if push came to shove, this alleged man she was cheating with didn’t exist so it could never be proven.

An almost wicked smile formed on Lucius Malfoy’s face.

“I’ve changed my mind. Come with me,” Lucius said.

Sirius stood up, wondering what he was about to get himself into. They didn’t speak on the way up. Sirius darkly wondered if Lucius was going to torture him for information that he didn’t really have. Perhaps he would end up dead and tossed into Elliot Bay.

Lucius’s suite at the hotel was very fancy. By comparison, the room Narcissa got Sirius made him feel like he was slumming it.

“Sit down. Would you like a drink?” Lucius said.

“No, thanks. I don’t drink. Not anymore,” Sirius said, sitting down on the enormous wrap-around sofa that sat against windows that beheld an amazing angle of the Space Needle.

“Bit young to be an alcoholic,” Lucius said, pouring himself a drink at the bar.

“My thought exactly,” Sirius said.

“So, tell me more. About my wife,” Lucius said.

“She’s cold-hearted, ambitious and back-stabbing. What else is there to know?” Sirius said with a smirk.

“I meant about the affair. What does this gentleman look like?” Lucius asked.

“Well, it’s been months now so my memory is a little rusty. He had… brown hair. Dark brown. Younger. Like my age. I guess he was cute but not really my type,” Sirius said.

Lucius looked revolted.

“I take it you don’t like my wife?” Lucius said, finally sitting down on the opposite corner of the sofa.

“Nope. Never have. Never will. She’s not trustworthy. She turns on anyone with the drop of a hat,” Sirius said, knowing full well that if nothing else she was actually loyal to her family to a fault.

Lucius sipped his drink then let out a sound that wasn’t quite a sigh or a growl but reminded Sirius of both.

“I’ve always feared that. To think that she’s pregnant and defiling herself with other men,” Lucius said with disgust.

Sirius had an urge to get up and punch the man but knew that would end very badly. Besides, this was working.

“Oh. I had forgotten she was pregnant,” Sirius lied.

“Apparently so has she. While I work hard to build a future for our son she’s whoring herself out,” Lucius said, his anger palpable.

“I know. It’s disturbing,” Sirius said.

“She has to know her place. I’ll have to make sure she knows her place,” Lucius said, squeezing his glass so hard Sirius feared it might break.

“And how do you intend to do that? Divorce her?” Sirius asked.

“Are you mad? I’m not going to divorce the mother of my child. No, she will get in line and realize my domain is not her domain. I just need to make sure she knows that I know about her affair and make it clear that if she doesn’t end the affair there will be consequences. She lives a life of luxury only because _I_ allow it. I can take away her privileges and she doesn’t want that,” Lucius said, proudly.

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you telling her I told you about the affair,” Sirius said.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Actually… you’re a photographer,” Lucius said, his eyes staring coldly in Sirius’s direction.

Sirius felt queasy as the realization hit him.

“Yeah,” Sirius said.

“Do you still live in Portland?” Lucius asked.

“No. Actually, I’m moving up here to Seattle soon. That’s why I’m up here right now. But I still live in Oregon, down the coast,” Sirius said.

“I will pay you handsomely to travel to Portland and follow my wife. I already keep a close watch on her. I have various servants and employees report on what they can but I’ve always trusted her just enough to let her travel around town without a chaperone. My mistake. Do you agree to do this? Will you follow my wife and get me pictures of her affair?” Lucius asked.

Sirius needed to think quick. Narcissa wouldn’t be happy but Sirius thought this might be the only way. They could use this to prove she wasn’t having an affair if they were smart.

“OK. Absolutely. I think it might be the right thing to do,” Sirius said, faking a smile.

“Excellent,” Lucius said and stood up, going over to shake Sirius’s hand.

There was a knock at the door. Lucius casually went over to the door and opened it.

“There you are,” Lucius said, guiding a young woman into the room by the hand.

She was short, had long brown hair and looked very young. She looked more ready for a night on the town than to sit and talk business.

“Sorry, caught up in traffic. Holy shit. Stubby Boardman?” she said, staring at Sirius.

“Excuse me?” Sirius said.

“No, this is my cousin, Sirius Black. We were just catching up. Sirius, this is my friend, Doris Purkiss,” Lucius said, putting a curious emphasis on the word friend.

Sirius stood up to go over and shake her hand.

“Sorry, you look just like this guy who’s in this band I like,” Doris said, laughing as they shook hands.

“Doris and I are doing some important work together,” Lucius said.

Doris barely looked eighteen and Sirius was confident of what kind of work they were doing together.

“Oh? What kind of work?” Sirius asked, stepping back and sliding his hands in his pockets, wishing he was sly enough to set his phone to record audio right now without giving it away.

Doris looked a little nervous and said, “Investing.”

“Doris works for a company I’m looking to do business with,” Lucius said.

“Well, I work for the mayor’s office. My father owns the company,” Doris said, Lucius looking annoyed.

“Ah. Well, I’ll let you get to your business. But first, can I use your bathroom?” Sirius asked.

“Go right ahead,” Lucius said, gesturing in the right direction.

Once in the bathroom, Sirius tried to think. He had Lucius red-handed. His eyes were all over that woman. There was laughter coming from the other room. Sirius put his ear to the door to see what he could hear. It was possible they thought he was far enough away to not hear anything.

He could only make out scant words and phrases.

 

_Dangerous._

_Money._

_My father._

_Company._

_Property._

_Wait for him to leave._

_Handcuffs._

_Dinner._

 

Sirius had heard enough. He walked over to the toilet and flushed it then washed his hands. He exited the bathroom, almost certain he had seen Lucius’s hand curved around Doris’s ass for a split second.

“Well, I’m gonna go. Let me give you my phone number so we can work out the rest of our business,” Sirius said and walked over to exchange numbers.

Sirius left the hotel as fast as he could, trying to think what he was going to tell Narcissa. He had a sense that something else was going on there with Lucius and Doris but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He waited until he got back home to call Narcissa.

“How did it go?” Remus asked as Sirius entered the house.

“Fucking weird. It went badly and great all the same time. I’m going to go to our room and call Narcissa. Don’t come in or she’ll get weird,” Sirius said, marching straight off to their cottage.

Sirius called Narcissa on FaceTime, immediately getting an answer. Narcissa seemed to be lounging in a bed, someone next to her, perhaps the woman he saw her with at the gay bar in Portland that first embroiled him in her personal drama.

“Well?” she said, all business despite her current state of relax.

Sirius took a deep breath and tried to explain.

* * *

 

Remus was shaking. The little publisher that picked up his book was located in the Fremont district of Seattle. Remus was trying to fill himself with the fond memories from when he had been here before but his anxiety was distracting. It didn’t help that Sirius had been on edge since yesterday and seemed to get irritated whenever Remus asked what happened.

Remus entered McGonagall & Sprout Publishing with fear, forcing himself to go up to the front desk while Sirius sat down.

“Ms. Sprout will be with you shortly,” the receptionist said.

This office was clearly very small. Even smaller than he had expected. He had hoped to meet the lady who had found his story but she wasn’t going to be there that day.

“Mr. Lupin,” a cheerful voice said.

Remus looked up to see a short, round woman who looked unusually pleased to see him. Sirius patted his shoulder and Remus followed her into her office.

“Pomona Sprout,” she said as soon as they were in, shaking his hand.

“Remus Lupin,” Remus said, cringing as he realized she knew that.

“So. The Reliquary of Blood. Interesting book,” Sprout said, gesturing at the chair in front of her desk to sit in.

He noticed she had a surprising amount of potted plants around the room. It was kind of nice, he thought.

“Yeah,” Remus said, not sure what else to say.

“I read it last night. Well, I read most of it. It drags in the middle,” she said in a surprisingly even tone.

“Oh. Sorry,” Remus said.

“Don’t be sorry. That’s what editing is for. Do you have an editor?” she asked.

“Oh. No. I don’t have any money,” Remus said.

“We’ll get you an editor, don’t worry. By the way, who is your agent?” she asked.

“I don’t have one,” Remus said.

She looked confused, squinting at him.

“Sorry, I was found… on the internet. Fanfic,” Remus said, wanting desperately to flee.

“Ohhh. Gladys found you. Well, you should definitely get an agent. We’re a pretty small publisher so you don’t have much to worry about. We like helping works that are diverse get an audience. Actually, you should ask Gladys if she wants to be your agent. Since you have already worked with her,” Sprout said.

“OK,” Remus said.

“Are you all right? Do you need some water?” Sprout asked, sounding very concerned.

“No. Sorry, I’m just nervous,” Remus replied, his sweaty hands clenching the armrests of the chair.

“All right. Well, listen. We’ll assign you an editor and he or she will help you make the changes the book needs. Like I said the middle drags. But the characters are strong. It’s dark but kind of sweet,” Sprout said.

“Umm... What about the, uh, the sex? Is it too much?” Remus asked, intensely embarrassed.

Sprout laughed.

“I’m not sure we’d be publishing a book like this without the sex. BDSM is popular right now. Actually, you might have gone too tame in a few parts. But the editor will work with you there,” she said.

“OK. Thank you,” Remus said, desperately hoping he was about to be released.

“OK, Mr. Lupin. You can go,” she said sympathetically.

Remus smiled at her and stood up, going back into the waiting room with Sprout not far behind him. When he arrived a tall, thin woman with black hair put up in a bun talking to the receptionist. As Remus walked up she cut herself off mid-sentence and turned to look at him.

“And who might you be?” she asked.

“Remus Lupin,” Remus said, sticking his hand out.

She glanced at his hand, smirked then shook it.

“I’m Minerva McGonagall. I own this publisher with Pomona. We look forward to working with you. I don’t really handle your sort of thing. I did read over your manuscript. It needs a lot of editing. Hopefully, you will work hard to get it right,” she said.

She couldn’t be more different than Sprout. She was serious business, through and through.

“Will do,” Remus said, nodding enthusiastically.

“Good,” she said with another smirk then walked away.


	5. Star-Smasher, Destroyer of Worlds

“Gerald,” James said.

“Gertrude,” Lily countered.

“Hannah,” James said.

“Harry,” Lily said.

“Why not Harold?” James asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Harry was my dad’s middle name, actually,” Lily said, lying shoulder to shoulder with James on their bed as they considered potential baby names.

“Ah. Fair enough. We don’t even know the baby’s gender yet, anyhow,” James said.

Lily frowned, second-guessing herself.

“Actually… I don’t know. I do feel weird about the gender thing. I know Sirius and Max would’ve felt better had their parents not tried to force a gender on them. I was kind of thinking we should give the baby a chance to figure it out for themself,” Lily said.

“Nah, you’re right. Well, then what would we name it?” James asked.

“Something gender neutral. When they are older they can choose for themself,” Lily said.

“Fair enough. So, if next week the doctor asks if we wanna know?” James asked.

“I don’t know. I suppose it can’t hurt to know but I don’t want any preconceptions,” Lily said.

“OK. You’re probably right,” James said, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead.

“So, what are your plans tomorrow? I’ve got a date with Marlene,” Lily said.

“I’m meeting up with Petrova, actually. Haven’t seen her since August,” James said, conjuring pleasant memories of her very Pagan nude wedding in the woods in Lily’s mind.

“Huh. Well, I hope she’s doing well. And her wife. What was her name?” Lily asked.

“Donna,” James said.

“Right. Shit. Fucking baby brain,” Lily said and chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah,” James said, bumping his shoulder against hers and kissing her cheek.

Lily turned to look at James.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” James replied and they kissed, soft and sweet.

Lily yawned as she pulled away.

“Look, your lips made me sleepy,” she said, still yawning.

“Aww come on,” James said, immediately also yawning.

“It’s lights out time,” Lily said, reaching over to click off her lamp.

* * *

 

James met Petrova Porskoff at the park. They had first met nearly three years ago, James waking up nude and hungover on her living room floor. They had ended up sleeping together but they never really dated. They had a lot of good times together.

“Your hair has really grown out,” James said, still remembering when it was short and spiky.

Petrova turned and smiled at him.

“Your hair… is the same. Exactly the same. Actually, all of you is. Do you ever change?” Petrova asked, hands on her hips.

“Only on the inside,” he said and gave her a hug.

“I hope you’re ready for this run. I’m gonna wear you down,” she said, squeezing tightly then letting him go.

“I’m _always_ ready. Surprised you invited me out of the blue, though,” James said.

“Yeah. It just didn’t seem right to not say goodbye. We had had a lot of fun back in the day,” she said.

“You’re leaving?” James said.

“Yeah. Come on. I’ll explain as we go,” Petrova said and she was off, heading down the sidewalk.

“Hey, wait up!” James said.

James caught up swiftly, jogging next to her.

“Where are you moving to?” James asked.

“SoCal. Donna’s family lives down there. Guess I ran out of reasons to stay here. Anyway, there’s more sun down there,” Petrova said.

“I hear that. Not much of that here,” James said.

“C’ mon, let’s pick this up,” Petrova said, running faster.

He wasn’t sure where they were headed, he only tried to stay on pace with her. It was a cold February morning, not really ideal for a run, but James got hot fast enough. Surprisingly they ended up down at the beach where they both sat down and hydrated.

“That was a good run. I needed that,” James said.

“Yeah. Been a while since we did that together. Guess I’m sentimental. I take my friendships seriously,” Petrova said, smiling at James and putting an arm around his shoulders.

“Me too. I’ll miss you. You made this place more interesting at a time when I didn’t know why I was even here,” James said.

“Let’s stay in touch. For real. Not the thing where I move away and we never speak again. And hey, I’ll be back to visit from time to time,” Petrova said.

James cringed.

“I’m moving to Seattle actually. We all are. Me, Lily, Remus and Sirius,” James said.

“Oh. Well, I do love Seattle. The Fremont Solstice parade is great. Gotta love the naked cyclists,” she said.

James laughed.

“Oh, how is the video game thing going?” Petrova asked.

“Oh. I haven’t really told anyone yet. But I sent my demos to some companies in the Seattle area. It’s a long shot but maybe I can get a job. As a janitor or something. Work my way up to the top,” James said, miming climbing a ladder with his hand.

Petrova snorted.

“Good luck with that. Really,” she said.

James smiled at her.

“Take care of yourself, Petrova,” James said.

“You too, James.”

* * *

 

“ He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!” Lily sang, laying on the couch with her head in Marlene’s lap as they watched Chicago.

Marlene had been very cuddly and tactile this evening, her hand placed casually high up on Lily’s thigh. She was the only one she really knew who loved musicals as much as she did. Lily and her sister, Petunia, had basically been raised on them. They went to shows whenever they could and watched a lot of musical films. Mostly the ones based on actual Broadway musicals rather than Hollywood originals. Chicago wasn’t one of her favorites but she did love the Cell Block Tango.

When the movie ended, Lily went to the bathroom, singing bits and pieces of Chicago along the way.

“You’re beautiful, smart, funny and can sing. What can’t you do?” Marlene asked as Lily got back.

“That thing in movies where the girl ties a cherry stem into a knot. I’m good with my tongue but not _that_ good,” Lily said, laughing.

“I know nothing about your talents in that regard,” Marlene said, looking a little embarrassed.

“Sorry. I’ve never known… how to approach that with you,” Lily said, always having been cautious because of Marlene’s asexuality.

Marlene turned and smiled at Lily.

“You just ask. If you want to. I’ve had sex before. I might not get what you get out of it but I’ll still get something. Being with you. Making you happy. I can still consent,” Marlene said.

Lily’s heart pounded. This was about to happen.

“Well, I’m down if you are,” Lily said.

Marlene nodded in the affirmative and Lily crawled on the sofa on her knees, her mouth quickly on Marlene’s. Kissing Marlene was always heaven but the energy tonight was immediately different. Marlene felt confident and experienced, perhaps even more than Lily did.

Marlene’s hands were no less sure of themselves, long fingers carefully exploring her curves. She was feeling really grateful that her breasts weren’t so tender anymore.

“Let’s see if I can show you my tongue skills, shall we?” Lily said.

Marlene snickered and said, “Go right ahead.”

Lily climbed off the sofa, kneeling as she pulled Marlene’s pajama bottoms down. Lily smiled and wrapped her lips around Marlene’s still soft penis. Slowly she grew hard, allowing Lily to suck slowly up and down the head, relishing Marlene’s soft moans.

Lily’s tongue traced up the underside of her shaft the tip, then sucked deep, making sure her lips dragged over the head as slowly as possible. Marlene’s body shook and she let out a high sound.

“What do you say we go to the bedroom?” Lily asked, standing up.

“Let’s do,” Marlene said, getting to her feet.

In Marlene’s room, Lily quickly undressed, Marlene doing the same.

“Can I go down on you? After that little performance I feel I owe you,” Marlene said.

“I’ll never turn that down,” Lily giggled and laid back on Marlene’s bed.

Marlene’s room smelled of various scents. If Lily weren’t so horny she could probably have separated them all out. There were certainly a lot of candles. There was Muslim artwork. An Iranian flag next to the British flag. Books. A lot of books. So much purple. The bed sheets were purple, the curtains were purple and a purple banner hung behind the bed. All different shades.

Marlene crawled on the bed, her head arriving swiftly between Lily’s legs. She kissed around Lily’s thighs first before she made use of her tongue. Marlene’s tongue made long slow laps at her clitoris. She was precise and careful. This was not her first time by a long shot. Lily relaxed as Marlene took control of her pleasure, her hands gripping Lily’s thighs as her hunger seemed to increase, the speed of her tongue quickening but losing none of its deftness.

“Holy shit, I’m gonna come,” Lily said, her body desperately tensing up.

The pleasure escaped through her body, overwhelming as the tension gave out. Out of her mouth escaped sounds that would be embarrassing in any other context but she didn’t care.

“OK. OK. Let me catch my breath and then I’m gonna ride the fuck out of you. Well, the pregnant version of that but yeah,” Lily said.

Marlene got up and slid next to Lily, kissing all over her cheek and her neck. Lily’s hand reached to Marlene’s groin, discovering she was still hard. Excellent.

“I’m pretty damn wet, but just in case, do you have lube?” Lily asked.

Marlene rolled over and reached into a drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube. She quickly applied it to herself then set it down. Lily got up and carefully climbed on top of Marlene. She had done this a bunch with James and it wasn’t a big deal. Marlene was much thinner than James which would make it even easier. She positioned herself just right then slid down, Marlene’s head leaning back as she bit her dark-red bottom lip.

Lily rocked, sliding her in and out while Marlene’s hands gripped her hips. Marlene’s face looked intense, her dark eyes wide and seeming lost.

“Lily… I won’t be able to hold on long,” Marlene said, probably a warning.

“That’s fine. Come when you want,” Lily said, speeding up a little.

“OK,” Marlene said.

Marlene’s face twisted, flinching, wincing and gasping. Her moans got louder and ragged. And then it hit.

“Oh no,” Marlene said, her head tilting back, her eyes closing as she cried out.

Lily held her tight inside of her. Marlene’s moans lasted longer than expected and when her head leaned back down she was wiping at her eyes.

“That was intense,” Marlene said, laughing.

“Yeah, it was,” Lily said.

“I’m glad we did this. It’ll make for a good memory,” Marlene said.

“Yeah. Me too,” Lily said and leaned down to kiss her.

* * *

 

“Heyyyy,” Aurora Sinistra said, enthusiastically hugging Sirius, smiling at Remus over his shoulder.

“Remus?” Aurora asked.

“Yep,” he replied and she pulled away from Sirius and came over to hug him tightly.

Normally Remus hated getting hugged by strangers but she had a warmth to her. Aurora was Sirius’s former co-worker from when he lived in Portland last autumn. She was somehow taller and prettier than Remus expected but every bit as cool.

Her natural hair was cut short, an inch of tight curls on her head. Her jeans had the knees torn and she wore blue tee-shirt with an unfamiliar logo that had the sleeves cut out. She looked like the singer of a punk band as far as Remus was concerned.

Rather than getting a hotel, they were staying with her this weekend. Which mostly meant that Remus would be hanging out with her and working on edits while Sirius followed around his cousin.

“All right. Come in,” Aurora said and they followed her inside.

Her apartment smelled intensely of marijuana. Her old, brown sofa looked like it was from the seventies. A lot of her furniture looked old. She probably bought everything she owned second-hand.

“So, yeah. This is my new place. It’s not big or nice but it’s cheap enough to live alone. Not that I like living alone. It’s no fun sitting around smoking weed by myself,” Aurora said.

Remus sat down on the sofa, moving a hoodie out of the way and setting his backpack down.

“It’s not bad,” Sirius said.

Aurora rolled her eyes.

“Please, Mr. Fancypants, I can see you judging how I live with your eyes,” Aurora said.

“That’s not true. It looks cozy,” Sirius said.

Aurora scooped up the hoodie, tossing a few other pieces of clothes into a laundry basket.

“I’ll be back,” she said, rushing out of the apartment with the basket in tow.

Sirius came over and sat down on the sofa next to Remus.

“I’m nervous. I’ve got a bad feeling about this whole Narcissa business. I’m in over my head and I know it,” Sirius said.

“Yeah. You are. But anyone would be,” Remus said.

“What would you do?” Sirius asked.

“Never leave my room,” Remus said, grinning.

“That’s what you already do,” Sirius said, tilting his head.

“Honestly, I would tell Lucius and Narcissa to both fuck off,” Remus said.

“I can’t. Narcissa, maybe. But Lucius is more dangerous. And I think he might be into something illegal. I don’t care about any of the cheating bullshit. But if I could stick it to some evil corporate assholes… that _would_ be pretty sweet,” Sirius said.

“I don’t know. Sounds like delusions of grandeur to me. But what do I know? I’m afraid of everything,” Remus said.

“You can’t help anxiety. I know you. You’re braver than you think,” Sirius said and kissed Remus’s cheek.

“Thanks. I hope you’re right,” Remus said, though he realized that even staying alone with a stranger so much this weekend was brave in its own way.

Aurora returned a moment later.

“Sorry. Been working long hours. Today is laundry day,” Aurora said.

“You’re fine,” Sirius said.

“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself,” she replied, winking at Sirius.

“Flirting right in front of my boyfriend, tsk tsk,” Sirius said.

“Aren’t you poly or some shit?” she asked, tilting her head.

Sirius nodded in the affirmative.

“That’s cool. I bet I’d be into that. I just never have the fuckin’ time. I can hardly date one person let alone two or three. I’m lucky if I can get a hookup these days,” Aurora said, sitting down on the sofa next to Sirius.

“That’s not what I remember,” Sirius said.

“Times have changed. I barely go to the club anymore. I’m ready to settle down. Have a baby or two. Get married,” she said.

Sirius scoffed.

“I can’t see you as a mother,” Sirius said.

“Rude?” Aurora said, raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, his phone alarm going off as he groaned.

“The sound of doom,” Aurora said.

“I’ve gotta go do… whatever the hell it is I’m doing,” Sirius said and stood up.

“Have fun,” Aurora said.

“I will not,” Sirius grumbled and added, “Try not to get into too much trouble.”

“I won’t but your boyfriend looks like a hell-raiser,” she said, smirking at Remus, making him laugh.

“That sounds about right,” Sirius said and blew Remus a kiss before heading out the door.

There were a few seconds of silence before Aurora said, “So, how would you like to get stoned and watch some movies. Do you like Marvel?”

“You just said my magic words,” Remus replied.

“All right!” she said, raising a dark hand for a high five which Remus quickly reciprocated.

* * *

 

Sirius had been following Narcissa around Downtown Portland for over an hour and was already exhausted. He was also nervous that someone else might notice him following her and taking pictures then confront him for being a creeper. He really didn’t want to have to explain what he was doing.

The plan was to follow her around, shopping and pretending to run errands before pretending like he faked an excuse to bump into her, much like he had really done with Lucius a couple of weeks ago.

“This is my life now. These are my choices,” Sirius said, snapping yet another pointless picture of his cousin.

Narcissa ducked into a restaurant. The kind that had reservations a mile long, which meant that Sirius wouldn’t be able to get in. He walked around the sidewalk for a while until she eventually came out and sat on the outside patio while she ate. His stomach rumbled while he took pictures of her eating some sort of pasta. She was probably enjoying his torment. She certainly took her time and once she was done eating continued to sit there, scrolling through things on her phone.

She finally sent him a text:

 

_I’m coming out. Be ready._

 

Sirius dashed over to the restaurant, quickly adjusting to strolling by casually just in time for her to walk out.

“Cousin,” she said.

Sirius groaned.

“Not you. Anything but you! Why me?” Sirius whined, clutching his hands to his heart dramatically.

Narcissa shot him a deadly cold glare and he chuckled.

“Just having a little fun. Shall we find somewhere private to talk?” Sirius asked.

“Whatever,” she said then added, “Follow me.”

Sirius followed her a few blocks away to a park, sitting down at a fairly isolated table that wasn’t likely to have many people walking by.

“This is really fucking weird. I hope you know that,” Sirius said.

“Of course I do. But it’s your fault. You’re the one who told him I was having an affair. An affair with some really boring sounding man,” Narcissa said, disgusted.

“We’ve been over this. It was that or nothing. I took a chance. So, when I report to him tonight what do I tell him?” Sirius asked.

“That you didn’t see me with anyone. You bumped into me and we had an uncomfortable conversation. We bickered and insulted each other. Tell him… I kept checking my phone. I looked impatient. You asked if I had an appointment and I got really defensive. _Too_ defensive. Tell him I threatened you. After I left here you tried to keep following but you think I was onto you and I lost you. Make sure he thinks you think you’re onto something. It’s vital that we keep him hooked on the line. Indefinitely,” Narcissa said.

Sirius sighed and threw up his hands.

“I guess,” Sirius said.

Narcissa rolled her eyes and reached into her purse, pulling out an envelope and setting it front of Sirius.

“You have nothing to complain about. You’re getting paid by both of us far more than you deserve” Narcissa said, standing up.

“That’s it? You’re leaving?” Sirius asked.

“Unless you’ve forgotten, I don’t like you,” Narcissa said and walked away.

Sirius grabbed the envelope and put it in his inside jacket pocket. He stood up and said, “I hate my life.”

* * *

 

“That’s hot, dude,” Aurora said, cackling.

Remus giggled with embarrassment.

“No, it’s not. At least my publisher thought it needed to be spicier,” Remus said, having been reading some of his edits to her from his laptop after finishing watching the Winter Soldier.

“Spicier? The fuck. That was basically porn,” she laughed.

“Yeah, that’s the thing. I think they want it to actually be porn. 50 shades and all that,” Remus said.

“Well, nothing wrong with that. Damn is it hot in here or am I just stoned and horny,” Aurora said.

Remus laughed uncontrollably.

“I don’t know,” Remus replied.

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Aurora shouted.

Sirius walked inside, looking grumpy. Silently he walked over and sat down between Remus and Aurora.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Aurora asked, wrapping an arm around Sirius and rubbing his back.

“Just wondering how my life came to this,” Sirius said.

“Did something happen?” Remus asked, feeling panicked even through the haze of marijuana.

“Not really,” Sirius said.

“What are you even doing? You look like you just watched someone die. No job is worth that,” Aurora said.

Sirius turned to her and said, “Do you really want to know?”

“I asked, didn’t I?” she said.

Sirius took a deep breath and explained everything from the very beginning, even mentioning a few details Remus wasn’t aware of yet.

“Holy fuckin’ shit,” Aurora said at the end of the tale.

“Yep,” Sirius said.

“Dude! DUDE!” Aurora said, hopping to her feet and pacing around.

“Don’t get so excited about the nightmare that is my life, Aurora,” Sirius said.

“Sorry. It’s just… you’re on the brink of something huge. I’m not familiar with Doris Purkiss but her father is some serious big shit. His company owns assloads of real estate in Seattle. Give you one guess who one of his biggest competitors is,” Aurora said, clasping her hands together and resting her chin on her fingers.

“Lucius Malfoy,” Sirius said.

“Bam! Got it in one, Sirius. I’d guess your girl, Doris, is in some shit. Embezzlement, sabotage or something. Lucius Malfoy is manipulating her. She’s young, naive, attracted to power,” Aurora said.

“That much is clear. Too bad I can’t talk to her,” Sirius said.

“Why can’t you? You know her. What would be the harm?” Aurora said.

“I don’t know. I’m already playing a dangerous game,” Sirius said.

“Yeah. That’s why I want in,” Aurora said, coming back to sit down next to him.

“You’re stressing me out. What do you mean you want in?” Sirius said.

“I’m a reporter. Did you forget? Sure, I’m a reporter for some stupid local paper but I know my shit. I have contacts. Mostly because of my social life but I’d bet it’s more than you. And best of all, none of these folk know me. I can do things you can’t get away with. Let’s crack this. Expose the whole damn thing,” Aurora said.

Remus was on the edge of his seat and wondering what the hell was even happening. Sirius exhaled and shook his head.

“OK, I guess. Why not? I’m just gonna let this all keep happening,” Sirius said.

“Yes!” Aurora said, cheering.

“I’ve gotta go email Lucius all my evidence and spin him some BS that Narcissa told me,” Sirius said, going over to his backpack and pulling his laptop out.

He headed over to the dining table, looking miserable.

* * *

 

The ultrasounds always made James nervous. There was never anything wrong and he was always excited to get glimpses at their baby, feeling awestruck at how much bigger and more developed it was every time.

This one was especially nerve-wracking because of the whole gender problem. After a lot of discussion, they had decided not to gender the baby and not to ask about the gender either.

Lily was relaxed, as usual, laying back and smiling at every glimpse of the baby’s anatomy.

“Well, the baby’s sex is looking pretty obvious. Do the two of you want to know the gender?” the doctor asked.

James and Lily looked at each other, nervously.

“I don’t feel comfortable gendering my baby,” Lily said.

“Oh. All right,” the doctor said but James had gotten a good look.

She was right. It _was_ obvious. But now he had to decide whether to tell Lily. Of course, he realized she might’ve seen too. And either way, they would know eventually.

“I mean… I guess you could tell us… the anatomy,” Lily said, curiosity perhaps getting the better of her.

“Well, if you look here,” the doctor said, pointing at the screen at what to James’s eyes definitely looked not like a penis.

“A vulva,” Lily said.

“Yep,” the doctor said with a smile.

They didn’t really talk about it on the way home. It wasn’t until they got home and in their room that Lily brought it up.

“I don’t know why I asked. I guess I just… want to know everything about my baby and what’s in their future. But now I feel guilty,” Lily said glumly.

James kissed her forehead and said, “I don’t think it hurts anything. What matters is that we don’t tell our baby who to be. And that we don’t give them a really stupid name.”

“Hmm. So, I can’t name our baby Star-Smasher, Destroyer of Worlds?” Lily asked, cracking a smile.

“Nope. And I will have to resist naming our baby Naruto Yu-Gi-Oh,” James said.

Lily shook her head and threw her arm around James’s neck, pulling him into a kiss.

“You’re such a card, James Potter,” Lily said.

“I try,” James said.

“Let’s go downstairs and make lunch,” Lily said.

“Good idea.”

 


	6. Live a Little

This was the big weekend. The entire household was traveling up to Seattle for Remus’s birthday. Sirius’s friend Aurora was also going up there to continue the scheme they were both embroiled in.

Remus was going to be seeing his mother for the first time since the previous summer and he was feeling pretty upbeat about it. He was also looking forward to meeting the woman who might possibly be her girlfriend.

Remus sighed, wiping at his eyes. He’d been looking at a computer screen for far too many hours. Today was his actual birthday and he was spending it doing edits. Some of the others had given him gifts earlier but he figured the actual celebrating could be saved for Seattle.

It was funny. A year ago Lily had taken him to Seattle for his twenty-first birthday. Now that his twenty-second had come around the idea of going to Seattle seemed almost pedestrian. He’d been up there a ton of times now. Still. He did love it.

He stared at the screen. Words had ceased to look like words anymore. Most of the edits were done anyway. He’d been working on them for a month now. Everything his publisher wanted had largely been accomplished. The middle was punchier and all the sex was less subtle, in some cases far less subtle than was originally in the fic.

A tap on the door.

“Come in,” Remus said.

Remus turned around expecting to see Sirius but instead, it was Lily.

“Hey,” she said, coming over to sit down on the bed.

“What’s up?” Remus asked.

“Just wanted to see how the birthday boy was doing,” Lily said.

“I’m tired of words. I’m tired of this book,” Remus said, pointing at the screen.

Lily frowned.

“You should start something new. Get a refresher,” Lily said.

Remus glanced back at his screen, remembering something.

“I have been toying with something. Remember the movie idea from last summer? I know we all joked about a lot of stuff but... I’ve been toying with writing a screenplay,” Remus said, feeling a little ashamed.

“Really? Cool!” Lily said.

“Yeah. It’s a weird thing. Kind of stream of consciousness. About a young woman exploring herself but it’s through visual and audio metaphor. Kind of magical but not really. At least the bit that I wrote. It’s not very good. I’ve never written a screenplay before,” Remus said.

“I assume I would be the leading lady?” Lily asked, lifting her chin proudly, her ponytail bouncing with the turn of her head.

“Of course. Have to get someone else to direct, though. I don’t think I’d be up for that,” Remus said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You’d be surprised what you’re capable of. Oh!” Lily said a put a hand on her belly.

“What?” Remus asked.

“The baby is kicking. I guess they are into filmmaking,” she said.

“Oh. Cool,” Remus said.

“Here,” Lily said, holding her hand out.

Remus placed his hand in hers and she guided it to the right spot, Remus quickly feeling the kicks and laughing.

“That’s neat. And weird,” Remus said.

“Yeah. It is,” Lily said and Remus removed his hand.

“Maybe I will work on the screenplay. Get my head out of this book. Can you believe I might have to do two more of these things? The horror,” Remus said.

“Such a hard life, the poor author. Yeah, maybe we’ll all get together this weekend. I can’t believe Peter and Dorcas are actually coming,” Lily said.

“How are they doing?” Remus asked.

“Better, I think. Calmer at least,” Lily said and stood up.

“Good to hear,” Remus said.

“I’ll let you get to work on that soon to be Academy Award winning screenplay,” Lily said with a wink.

“Too much pressure!” Remus said with a laugh as Lily waved and exited the attic.

* * *

 

“Woohoo, Seattle!” Aurora shouted as she got into the backseat of Sirius’s car.

“I wish I shared your enthusiasm,” Sirius said.

The truth was Sirius had realized what was making him miserable was that he wanted to let himself enjoy this stuff. When he was hiding in the bathroom trying to listen in one Lucius and Doris’s conversation he was exhilarated. He felt like a spy in a movie. He didn’t like being caught in the awkward position he was in but this investigative stuff? He kinda dug it.

“Happy birthday, Remus!” Aurora said, slapping a hand on his shoulder as Sirius started to drive.

“Thanks,” Remus said.

“How old are you?” she asked.

“Twenty-two,” Remus said.

“Ah. I’ll be thirty-two this summer,” she said.

“Nice,” Remus said.

Sirius turned the music up, a playlist that was a mix of things the three of them liked. Aurora loved music more than most things and knew all the songs anyway, singing with all of them for almost the entire trip from Portland to Seattle.

The rest of the gang were traveling with James and Lily, aside from Max who was already up there. Sirius hoped he’d be able to hang out with Max at some point. Despite living in the same house, Max was often traveling for work. As the only other trans guy Sirius knew it was nice when they got chances to bond.

They arrived at the house around noon. Sirius had expected the others to arrive first but somehow he had beaten them. Hagrid was working in his garden when they pulled up and Sirius waved to him. Sirius unlocked the door and Aurora began to expecting everything.

“This is not bad. It’s not super fancy but it’s cozy. I love the loft,” she said, marching up the stairs.

The bedding situation was going to be a little interesting this weekend. Dorcas and Peter were going to sleep on the pull-out sofa, James and Lily in the loft, Max on the living room floor and Aurora on the floor of Remus and Sirius’s room where they would be in their bed. Except for tomorrow night when he and Remus were staying at his mom’s place after his birthday party.

Today he and Aurora were going to be attempting to bump into Doris Purkiss which seemed to him a fool's errand but what better way to occupy yourself when you were, in fact, a fool.

While Aurora was still exploring the house, the others arrived, James entering and looking bewildered.

“How did you beat me here?” James asked.

“I’m a better driver,” Sirius said.

“Oh, don’t you start, Black. That sounds like a challenge,” James said, flipping the bird.

“Just stating facts,” Sirius said with a half smile.

James shook his head and Lily, Dorcas and Peter came inside.

“Oh, look at this. It’s nice. I love it,” Peter said.

Aurora reappeared from wherever she had gone and said, “Hey! I’m Aurora. Pleased to meet you all.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Dorcas said, shaking her hand, followed by Peter.

“Nice to see you again,” James said.

“You too, cutie,” she said with a wink.

“Oh, this is my wife-“ James started, his hand outstretched to Lily, horror dawning on his face.

Lily stared at him and soon everyone else was.

“G-Girlfriend,” James said, exhaling then adding, “Lily.”

Aurora smiled and shook Lily’s hand saying, “Nice to meet you, Lily.”

“You too,” Lily said, clearly trying not to laugh as she shook her head at James.

“I slipped! What, like you never called one of your teachers mom before?” James said, throwing up his hands.

“You got me there, James,” Lily said, sticking her tongue out at him.

“Sirius, I think it’s time for us to go. Work to do,” Aurora said, looking at her phone.

Remus hugged Sirius and said, “Take care of yourself.”

“I’ll try,” Sirius said and they left.

Aurora’s plan involved going to the local bar where a band called the Hobgoblins were playing. They happened to be fronted by Stubby Boardman, the singer Doris had mistaken Sirius for. Aurora would claim to have dragged Sirius there, being a fan, and play it off like it was all a big coincidence. Aurora had even taken the time to buy a band tee-shirt and learn all of their songs. She was nothing if not dedicated and hard-working.

Of course, if Doris wasn’t there this would all be pointless. Fortunately, she was already there, a half hour early, sitting by herself and looking at her phone. She appeared to be nursing some sort of brown tinted beverage in a glass. He had already gotten confirmation that Lucius was back at home in Portland from Narcissa so there would be no unexpected interference.

Sirius and Aurora hung back. Aurora ordered a drink and Sirius got water. The half-hour until the band started seemed to last forever. When Stubby Boardman finally came on stage, Sirius was incredulous.

“He looks nothing like me,” Sirius said.

“I don’t know. I can see it. He’s kind of a less good looking and more stoned version of you,” Aurora said.

Sirius looked at her, appalled but then the band started to play and he looked appalled at them. Sirius didn’t know how to describe what he was hearing but he was horrified. It was a strange mix of country, metal, rap, and jazz, all performed by four white dudes that left Sirius wishing he had never left the house. But Aurora was singing along to all of it, a little too loudly. Loudly enough that he noticed the only other person singing along in the bar, Doris, glancing back and smiling.

It didn’t appear she had noticed Sirius. He decided to turn away and focus on his water. Let it seem like more of a coincidence. When the set from hell finally ended, Doris made her way back to them.

“You a Hobby?” Doris asked Aurora.

“Damn straight I am,” Aurora said, raising her hand for a high five, which Doris quickly gave her.

Sirius turned, pretending to look confused.

“Oh. Hey. You. From the hotel, right?” Doris said.

“That’s where I know you. I heard your voice and it freaked me out. How are you doing… erm… sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name,” Sirius said.

Doris frowned and stated her name again.

“Doris Purkiss. Right. I’m terrible with names,” Sirius said.

“It’s all right, Sirius. I guess I wouldn’t remember me either,” she said, making it clear she knew his name.

Everything about Doris seemed different tonight. She was just wearing jeans and a grey hoodie. She was light on the makeup. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was wearing glasses. Her demeanor was relaxed. Even the tone and pitch of her voice was different. She seemed older. She seemed more relaxed. Low-key.

“Sirius is self-involved. It’s terrible, really,” Aurora said, playfully elbowing him.

Something suddenly clicked in Sirius’s mind: this bar was strictly for people twenty-one and over and she had been nursing a drink when they came in.

“Let me make it up to you. I’ll buy you a drink,” Sirius said.

“Sure. But not here. There’s a gay bar nearby that’s more my speed. I just come here for the gobs,” Doris said and started to head towards the exit.

Something very peculiar was going on. They followed her down the sidewalk, her hands in her pockets.

“I know what you guys are up to, by the way. I’m not who you think I am,” Doris said, a fact that was swiftly becoming obvious.

“Then who are you?” Aurora asked.

“Gotta earn my trust. Hang with me in here for a while then maybe we’ll talk,” Doris said and entered the gay bar.

Sirius looked at Aurora who shrugged and followed Doris inside, leaving Sirius no choice but to do the same.

* * *

 

Max threw a stone and Lily watched as it skipped over the water. She had convinced Max and Dorcas to come down to the beach with her. The house was too chaotic and Lily thought the baby might like it if their mother got to look at the water, as much was visible by moonlight.

“It’s beautiful here, isn’t it. I can almost see mountains in the distance,” Dorcas said.

“Yeah. It’s not the ocean, exactly, but it makes up for it with the rest of the scenery,” Lily said.

“What’s that island?” Max asked.

“Vashon Island, I think. I don’t know much about the geography around here,” Lily said.

“I’ve always liked the idea of living on an island. Something romantic about it,” Dorcas said, laying her head on Lily’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Sirius’s brother lives on an island. Bainbridge Island. It’s nice,” Lily said.

Max tossed another stone. It didn’t skip as well as the last one. Max seemed to give up, coming to sit on Lily’s other side.

“When was the last time the three of us just sat together like this?” Lily asked.

“Not since last summer. I’m always gone. Dorcas is always with Peter, you’re always with… everyone else. Hard to make the stars align,” Max said, dragging a hand across the sky.

“I’m not ready,” Dorcas said, her voice quavering.

“Not ready for what, sweetie?” Lily asked.

“I’m not ready for us all to be separated again. When you moved out to Oregon in the first place it was so hard. So, we moved out there too. Now you’re leaving and Peter still wants to move up here but… everything is hard,” Dorcas said, sniffling.

“So, move up here then. Hell, I’m up here a lot for work anyhow. You’d probably see me about at least as much as you do now,” Max said.

“I don’t know. Things with Peter and I have been getting better. Maybe it could be a fresh start for us. Who knows, by the end of the weekend maybe I’ll be in love with Seattle,” Dorcas said.

“Maybe,” Lily said and kissed the top of her head.

* * *

 

Sirius had spent the last two hours watching Aurora and Doris dancing and was desperately ready to head home. Sitting around in a club, not being able to drink while you watch everyone else having fun, was not his idea of fun.

“Thank God,” he whispered as the two of them returned.

“Thanks for being a good sport,” Doris said.

“You’re welcome?” Sirius said.

“I guess I can spill my secrets now. But not here,” she said.

“Where then? Are you going to drag us around town? Each time teasing us with information,” Sirius said.

“No. I’m not a tease. We’re just going to my apartment. I don’t live far,” Doris said.

“Fine,” Sirius said, just wanting to get this all over.

Her version of not far turned out to not be the same as Sirius’s. It was at least a twenty-minute walk. Her place reminded him of his apartment in Portland, though it was maybe a little smaller. She tossed off her hoodie and crashed back on her sofa, beckoning them over.

“So, to be clear, you guys are after Lucius Malfoy and not me, right?” Doris asked.

“It’s kind of complicated,” Aurora said.

“Well, then illuminate me. Because you’re not getting shit until I know your angle,” Doris said with a smile.

The low-key image for earlier was already gone, revealing that not even that was the real her. She now seemed intense and playful.

“Lucius’s wife is paying me to find out if he’s having an affair. When I saw the two of you I suspected there might be something bigger going on,” Sirius said.

“That’s pretty much what I thought. The answer to both of those is a resounding yes. Actually, he’s having a lot of affairs. I’m small fries there,” Doris said.

“How old are you?” Aurora asked.

“Twenty-seven. I know I look younger. Lucius certainly thought so. He’s the one who approached me. I was at a political fundraiser last autumn for Hillary Clinton,” Doris said.

“I was there. So was his wife,” Sirius said.

She laughed and said, “I know. My dad introduced us and Lucius was standing there eyeballing me, reading my body like his life depended on it. A little later he pulled me aside. It was just flirting and small talk. I pulled him into a supply closet and well, you can guess what happened next.”

“We definitely can,” Aurora said.

“After we were finished he casually asks me how old I am, a trace of fear in his voice. I couldn’t believe it. I told him I had just turned eighteen. He looked so relieved,” Doris said.

“Relieved he was nearly thirty and fucking a legal teenager rather than an illegal one. Disgusting,” Aurora said.

“Yep. So, a month later I get a call from him, asking me to meet him at his hotel room. At this point, I already had the idea. Turns out he was a little ahead of me. He wanted insider information on my dad’s company to give him an advantage. He wanted to know how to undercut him. How to get to properties before my dad could. And some stuff even more illegal than that. And he was willing to pay handsomely for all of it. And then he found out I worked in the mayor’s office…” Doris said.

“So, you’re scheming against your own father?” Aurora said, crossing her arms.

“Of course not. Christ. My father’s a fucking saint. Unlike Lucius Malfoy. However bad you think Lucius is, I promise he’s worse. He’s a sick fucker,” Doris said, her lip curling in apparent revulsion.

“I can imagine,” Sirius said.

“As I start playing into everything he’s saying I’m leading him to other ideas. I don’t suggest anything I just drop information and let him make the connections. Before long he’s hatched a scheme to destroy my dad’s company and crown himself the king of Seattle real estate. Which is so funny. What a chump,” she said, laughing.

“So, then… what are you doing?” Aurora asked.

“To be honest I’ve just been… kind of going with it. I’ve thought about telling my father but that could get messy. Oh, but now you guys have shown up,” Doris said.

“Depending on what specific things he’s done he may have broken some laws,” Aurora said.

“Oh, he has. I mean even if him tossing money at me isn’t illegal, some other shit he’s told me about definitely is,” Doris said.

“But we’d need proof,” Sirius said.

“I’ve got some proof of some things. Pictures, audio, video. Oh, by the way, I’ve filmed us having sex if you wanted to give that to his wife… in exchange for you helping me to destroy him,” Doris said.

“You filmed him without his consent?” Aurora said, appalled.

“Believe it or not, no. I really play the naive angle with him. When he’s horny enough he’ll agree to a lot. Is it still sketchy? Yeah, I guess. But on the other hand, he did fuck me thinking I might be underage when we first met,” Doris said.

Either way, Sirius felt really dirty getting into all of this. He was glad he had Aurora here.

“We can help you but it’s vital that Lucius has no idea anything is going on,” Aurora said.

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you what I have and find out whatever I can get. I admit I’m not… super knowledgeable about corporate law. But he’s dirty. In so, so many ways,” she said.

“What about the proof of the affair?” Sirius asked.

“You’ll have to have patience there. I’m holding onto that one,” Doris said.

Sirius sighed. What a mess, he thought.

* * *

 

Remus’s mother lived on the north side of Seattle. She wasn’t as close as they were to the beach but when she had told him that her new friend had a nice view of Puget Sound she wasn’t lying. She also had a much nicer view of the Olympic mountain range.

He knocked on the door, feeling anxious. When the door opened, someone unexpected was standing on the other side.

“Hey, big brother.”

“Natalie!” Remus said and embraced his sister, who he also hadn’t seen since last summer.

“Happy birthday,” she said then lead Remus inside.

“Where’s mom?” Remus asked.

“Upstairs, I think. I’ll go get her,” Natalie said.

While he, Sirius, Lily, and James waited a woman his mother’s age wandered in from some other part of the house.

“Remus?” she said, pointing at him.

“Yep.”

“I’m Myra. Pleased to meet you,” she said and came over, unexpectedly hugging him.

“Pleased to meet you too,” he said.

She pulled away and added, “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” Remus said.

His mom finally came down the stairs, speeding up as she spotted him. She didn’t even say anything, just taking him in her arms and holding him close. When she finally let go she wiped at her eyes.

“Happy birthday, son,” she said then addressed the others, “Lily! Oh my God,” her eyes clearly observing Lily’s belly.

She and Lily hugged, a sight that brought a smile to Remus’s face.

“We haven’t met, I don’t think,” she said to James.

“James Potter,” James said, shaking her hand.

“Nice to see you again, Sirius,” she said to him, surprisingly hugging him.

“I’ve made lunch if you all are hungry,” Myra said.

“You bet,” James said and they all followed her to the food.

A while later, after the meal was passed Remus and his mother went out onto her back porch. It was raining now.

“Things have been really good here. With Myra,” his mother said.

“I can tell. She’s really nice,” Remus said.

“She’s given me a new life. I must confess… we’re not just friends,” she said.

Remus smiled at her.

“I know, mom,” he said.

“Good. I just wanted to apologize. For last summer. I know I apologized before but… I was so trapped in my own lies,” she said, her voice fueled with a sense of grief.

She referred to her uncomfortable reaction to him coming out which lead to him uncovering her own past history with being queer.

“It’s OK,” Remus said.

She nodded and inhaled.

“Have you been keeping in touch with your father?” she asked.

“Yeah. We email back and forth. He’s been in South Korea a lot. I miss him,” Remus said.

“Me too. It’s a cliche but since the divorce, we get along better. Still. I worry about him. He’s always been a lonely man. He isolates himself,” she said.

“I can relate,” Remus said.

“Don’t isolate yourself. You’re so blessed to have great friends around you. The older you get, Remus, the harder it will get to make friends,” she said.

“I know. I wish I was more outgoing but… all this anxiety. But my friends help. They help a lot,” Remus insisted.

His mother smiled.

* * *

 

The stairs lightly creaked as Lily slowly walked down, trying not to wake anyone as she left the loft to go pee. After she got out of the bathroom, she went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea.Since getting pregnant she had become more cautious with coffee. She didn’t like feeling jittery on top of everything else. To her surprise, Dorcas was standing in the kitchen, staring down at the mug she was holding on top of the counter.

“Morning,” Lily said softly.

“Morning,” Dorcas said, sounding more tired than she looked.

Lily pulled a mug out of a cabinet, put a teabag and sugar in it then grabbed the still warm kettle to pour water in it.

“Wanna go out back and talk?” Dorcas asked.

“Sure,” Lily said and followed her to the back porch.

They sat down on the bench, Lily setting her tea down on the arm carefully while it continued to steep.

“So, I talked to Peter yesterday. Well, it was a little talking, a little arguing, a little making up and then finally… agreeing,” Dorcas said, sipping her tea.

“And?” Lily said.

“We’ve decided to move up here. It might be a little messy. But we think that maybe with our own apartment and our own space things will be better,” Dorcas said.

Lily had mixed feelings but chose to smile reassuringly. She would be glad to have Dorcas around but she had a bad feeling about her relationship with Peter.

“Well, if there’s anything James or I can do, let us know,” Lily said, pulling her teabag out of her cup and tossing it in the nearby trashcan.

“Just the usual stuff, I’m sure. I’m kind of upbeat about this. I think there will be more opportunities up here. Possibilities. I’ve never lived in a big city. Maybe I can live a little,” Dorcas said.

“I plan to take some acting classes in the fall after we’ve had time to settle and the baby is a couple of months old. It should be interesting,” Lily said then tried to sip her tea, finding it far too hot.

“I guess I was never going to make any friends in Oregon. The vibe wasn’t right. But this weekend I’ve seen that the vibe is right here. And you’re here. I’ve been… really sad about you Lily. I know I’ve told you but… I miss our connection. I know I’ve been up Peter’s ass and obviously, you’ve got stuff going on…” Dorcas said, smiling at Lily.

Lily leaned over and gave Dorcas a soft kiss on the lips then pulled away.

“Our connection is still here. Don’t worry. I won’t let it fade away,” Lily said, placing a hand on her cheek.

Dorcas kissed Lily’s hand. Lily wished there was somewhere private the two of them could go right now but there was nothing. But that was fine. There would be time.


	7. Closer

“Just look at you!” Molly Weasley shouted as soon as Lily entered the store.

“Look at me,” Lily said with a chuckle as her friend came around the counter for a hug.

“It’s good to see you!” Molly said, gently patting her on the back.

“You too. Can I see the baby?” Lily asked and Molly pulled away.

“Absolutely. Follow me,” Molly said and lead Lily upstairs.

Lily hadn’t spent enough time at Molly and Arthur’s in recent months. It had felt like so much was going on. Even the coming weekend she was coming up to Seattle with Sirius to work on getting the house more ready as she felt like at home there wasn’t enough for her to do when she wasn’t working at the bookstore.

“He’s sleeping right now,” Molly said, leading Lily into a bedroom where a one-month-old with a thin layer of fiery-red hair lay.

“Oh, he’s so precious,” Lily said, touching her chest and smiling at Molly.

“Bill and Charlie think he looks like Arthur. I just hope he’s less trouble than the twins are proving to be,” Molly said with a cringe.

Lily rubbed her back and said, “Look at him lying there so peaceful. Doesn’t seem like trouble to me.”

“Still. I do hope for a girl next time,” Molly said.

“Next time? Sorry, I didn’t mean that judgmentally,” Lily said, laughing in hopes of a quick recovery.

Molly also laughed.

“You’re fine, dear. Yes, I think we want one more go for a girl. After that, I’ll accept defeat,” Molly said, throwing up her hands.

“Fair enough,” Lily said.

“There are some cookies in the dining area,” Molly said, exiting the bedroom.

“Oooo,” Lily said, rushing over to the bowl and grabbing few.

She didn’t ask if they were vegan. She’d discovered that with pregnancy cravings she sometimes cared less than normal. She could feel guilty about it later, once the baby had been sorted.

As they headed back downstairs Lily had a sinking realization. Something she had forgotten.

“So, uh, there’s something I should tell you. Should’ve told you. There’s just been so much going on,” Lily said.

“It’s not a bother. Believe me, I understand. The only reason there’s not chaos right now is because Arthur is out with the twins and Percy,” Molly said.

“I’m moving this summer. Once the baby is born. We’re all moving to Seattle,” Lily said, unsure if she should smile or frown and feeling certain she ended up awkwardly somewhere in-between.

Molly looked momentarily defeated but quickly smiled.

“Well, that’s wonderful. I’ve heard good things about Seattle. Heard it’s expensive,” Molly said.

“It is. We’re actually living in a suburb. It’s still pretty nice. Near the beach,” Lily said.

“Ah. Just like here. It will be like you never left,” Molly said, fiddling with things behind the checkout stand.

Lily frowned and approached her. She knew Molly didn’t have many friends in town. She not only felt bad that she was leaving but she felt bad that she hadn’t thought to tell Molly before today.

“I’m sure I’ll come back to visit. And you could visit too,” Lily said.

Molly’s brown eyes drifted up and she smiled.

“That would be nice. In the meantime, don’t think you are going to get out of my board game nights until you move. I’ll be expecting you. As a matter of fact the next one is in two weeks!” Molly said with a wink.

“I’ll be there,” Lily said, feeling a little bit better.

* * *

 

It wasn’t often that Remus felt the need to rush to Lily’s bedroom door to knock but currently, he was buzzing with excitement.

“Come in,” she called out and he entered.

“Hey,” Remus said, resisting the urge to bounce up and down on her floor.

“Hey. What’s up?” Lily asked, sitting at the head of her bed with her laptop.

“So, remember that script we talked about?” Remus asked.

“Yeah-huh,” Lily said.

“I finished it,” Remus said, gritting his teeth and sliding his hands in his pockets.

“Really? Can I read it?” Lily asked.

“I was really hoping you would,” Remus said, relaxing a little.

“Absolutely. I can read it on my way up to Seattle tomorrow,” Lily said.

“I’d appreciate any notes. Since you’ve got to star in it. And be kind. I’ve never written a screenplay before. And if this is a disaster, I never will again,” Remus said.

“Notes. Absolutely. Just email it over,” Lily said.

“Already done. Guess I was banking on you saying yes,” Remus said.

“That was a fair assumption,” Lily said, smiling.

“Don’t start it yet. Save it. I can’t bear to have you even read it in the same house as me,” Remus said.

“Why? I’ve read your fanfic. Hell, I’ve read many thousands of words of your porn,” Lily said, sticking her tongue out.

“Yeah, I try not to dwell on that,” Remus said, cringing.

Lily shook her head and laughed.

“Oh, Remus. What would I ever do without you?” Lily asked.

“Guess that will have to remain a mystery,” Remus said and left her room with a small wave.

He headed downstairs to Sirius’s room.

“Always unexpected when you come to me,” Sirius said, letting Remus inside.

“Yeah. I don’t know. I guess with the trips we’ve been taking to Seattle… I’m starting to get used to sharing a room with you,” Remus said, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Yeah. It’s not bad,” Sirius said, scooting over on his bed so Remus could get in.

Remus climbed onto the bed and Sirius put his head on his shoulder.

“I gave Lily my screenplay,” Remus said.

“Nice. When can I read it?” Sirius asked.

Remus laughed.

“When it’s done. Or at least when it’s better than it is now,” Remus said.

“I don’t approve,” Sirius said, bumping Remus with his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. So, how are things going with… the thing. Your secret missions,” Remus asked.

Sirius let out a long groan.

“Honestly, I’m letting Aurora handle as much as she can. She knows more about all this stuff than me. I’m a photographer. I just wanted to spend my life taking pictures that had more meaning than… proving an affair or uncovering a corporate scandal,” Sirius said, growling all throughout.

Remus kissed Sirius’s cheek and said, “I’m really looking forward to that whole mess being done.”

“Me too. But Lucius wants a meeting this weekend. I assume to go over all the evidence I’ve not really gained from pretending to follow Narcissa around,” Sirius said.

“What is going on with the Narcissa side of things?” Remus asked.

“Same shit, different day. The goal is to keep Lucius on the hook. I can never find evidence of an affair but I need to find her in suspicious circumstances. As long as I can keep him thinking there’s something to find,” Sirius said.

“But why would you need to? Doris is giving you all you need,” Remus said.

“I know, I know. I don’t know. I’m in over my head. This is some sort of weird nightmare. But whatever. I’ll do all this and then my brother will be free,” Sirius said.

“I sure hope so,” Remus said, very concerned but not wanting place his own anxieties on Sirius.

“At least I’ll have Lily for company this weekend. Oh. Speaking of which… Remus… If you and James…” Sirius started.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Remus said, not wishing to have an awkward conversation.

“No. Let me finish. I just wanted to say… I think if you and James want to… you know. Hookup. I think you should. I mean it. If this whole poly thing is ever going to work we can’t just be stuck. There’s no reason to be afraid. Lily and I have done stuff, remember? And I kind of feel like… we might again,” Sirius said.

Remus turned and looked into his grey eyes. Sirius looked sincere.

“OK. You’re right,” Remus said.

Sirius smiled at him and then they kissed, long and deep. Sirius rolled onto his side and Remus gripped his hip, pulling him close.

“Shit, Remus. I didn’t know talking about fucking James would get you hard so fast,” Sirius said, one of his hands rubbing between Remus’s legs.

“I was already hard. Hard to control myself around you,” Remus said, squeezing Sirius’s ass.

“Well, I guess I can’t leave it all for James,” Sirius said and started to move his head down to Remus’s groin.

* * *

 

Lily had driven north for as long as she could manage before she felt too tired and uncomfortable to continue. Sirius took over and once they were in Portland they picked up his friend Aurora. What little time they had spent together last month had left Lily with a good impression. She was pretty cool.

Once they were officially headed towards Seattle, Lily pulled out her phone and started to read Remus’s screenplay. It opened with a woman on a beach. Remus wrote that she was looking for something. The story then flashed back, showing the events that lead her to that moment.

It wasn’t flawless but it was interesting. She was too tired now to take notes but she would definitely do so once they were at the new house and she’d had some rest. She supposed the house would be nice and quiet once Sirius and Aurora were out doing… whatever it was they were doing.

 

**Enjoyed your screenplay. Notes to come later.**

 

_:) Good to hear. Take good care of Sirius._

 

**I’ll try. You take good care of James :P**

 

_You know it._

 

Lily put away her phone, closing her eyes and hoping to get some rest before they got to Seattle. She dreamt she was on a beach, sitting next to her child, who was now older. She couldn’t make out what the child looked like. They skipped stones, creating beautiful endless circular ripples in the water that extended out to a horizon so bright that it was barely visible. The more she tried to see the horizon, the brighter it got.

She woke up to find they were parked in front of the house. She rubbed her eyes and groaned as she realized she was at emergency levels of needing to pee.

“Bathroom. Now,” Lily said, quickly getting out of the car and rushing to the front door while the other two pulled things out of the car.

By the time she was done with the bathroom, Sirius and Aurora were in the living room debating something.

“All right. We’ll change plans, I guess,” Sirius said.

“Ah, yes, your top secret plans to steal the Louvre ala Ocean’s Eleven. Don’t mind me. I won’t ruin your heist. Just a pregnant woman who is going to lay back on this sofa,” Lily said, doing just that.

“You haven’t told her what we’re doing?” Aurora said, looking back and forth between Sirius and Lily.

The baby was kicking. Lily placed her hands on her belly, wishing they were at that part where she could hold it and also weirdly dreading it.

“No, I haven’t,” Sirius said.

“I mean you don’t have to but… if it were me I’d want more support under the circumstances,” Aurora said.

“Jesus. You guys are making it sound like you are selling meth. What gives, Heisenberg?” Lily said with a smirk.

“It’s a long story,” Sirius said.

“His cousin is blackmailing him to get dirt on the affair her husband is having so that he can get her to help his brother be able to reveal he’s still alive without legal trouble. In the process Sirius has uncovered a web of corporate crime committed by said husband,” Aurora said.

“Huh,” Lily said.

“OK, so maybe it’s easier to summarize than I thought,” Sirius said.

“I’m intrigued. Sirius, sit your gorgeous ass down over here and retell what she just said but slower,” Lily said, pointing at the loveseat to her left.

Sirius sighed and came over, telling her a surprisingly intriguing but rather bizarre tale.

“Dude. Sirius. Tell me Remus knows about all this,” Lily said.

“Of course,” Sirius said.

“Remus knows about all that? How could you tell him all that? It’s probably driving him mad!” Lily said, lifting herself up to gape at Sirius.

“I… I thought you wanted me to have told him,” Sirius said.

“You know sometimes, Sirius, the right thing to do is also not the right thing to do,” Lily said, trying not to laugh.

Aurora laughed and Lily’s resolve broke, laughing as well.

“She’s funny,” Aurora said.

“Yeah. Hilarious,” Sirius said, dripping with bitter sarcasm.

“But, no. Wow. That’s some shit right there. You’re James Bond but with less murder and misogyny,” Lily said.

“Let’s not get carried away. This work is very boring and tedious. Tonight I’m going to meet with Lucius. He’s going to talk about how great he is, say lots of nasty things and be a massive hypocrite before finally letting me go,” Sirius said.

“You didn’t tell her the other thing. The thing we just found out,” Aurora said.

“Yeah, I’m still processing that. I got a text from my brother. He’s… done it. He just went ahead and did it. This past week he contacted the authorities, told them a big story about drugs, said he went on the run and doesn’t know who the hell they buried because it wasn’t him. He did a DNA test and they dug up the grave to find out there’s nothing in it,” Sirius said.

“Holy shit,” Lily said.

“Yeah. Umm… he’s got a long road ahead of him but for now… he might be in the clear. Andromeda told him just to do it. That she could protect herself and she knew Narcissa probably had any and all evidence buried anyway,” Sirius said.

“So… you don’t have to do any of this spy shit, then, right?” Lily said.

Sirius shrugged.

“You’d think but if I just back out now it’ll look suspicious. Besides we promised Doris and there’s no reason to think she wouldn’t betray us if things got hot,” Sirius said.

“It’s a real fucker of a situation. But I guess you should get moving,” Aurora said to Sirius.

He groaned and stood up.

“You’re not going,” Lily asked.

“Nope. I’m here just in case but I’m just gonna chill. If you don’t mind the company,” Aurora said.

“Hell no, I don’t. Let’s party!” Lily said, pumping her fist.

“Woohoo,” Aurora said, slapping a hand on Lily’s fist.

“To be clear when I say party I mostly mean, sit together and like shoot the shit until I eventually fall asleep,” Lily said.

“That’ll do for me,” Aurora said, sitting down next to her on the sofa.

“Well, all right. I’m out. If I don’t turn up by morning, check for my body in Elliot Bay,” Sirius said and he was gone.

* * *

 

“Come in, come in,” Lucius said, a huge grin on his face as Sirius entered his hotel room.

“I take it you’re well,” Sirius said.

“Most excellent. I have everything a man could want. Money, power, beautiful women, a huge cock and my wife kept in her place,” Lucius said, gesturing at the sofa for Sirius to sit down.

“That all must keep you busy,” Sirius said, chuckling through his disgust.

“Doris will be here soon, by the way. She’s running late,” Lucius said, coming over to the sofa with a drink in his hand.

“Oh. I thought you’d want to discuss these things in private,” Sirius said.

“Oh, she knows. I tell her everything. And she tells _me_ everything. It’s a give and _take_ relationship,” Lucius said, somehow saying it in the most sleazy way possible.

“I’m surprised you trust her,” Sirius replied, unsure why he said that.

Lucius laughed.

“I don’t. I don’t trust anyone. But as long as she tells me what I want, our little game will continue. Don’t take me for a fool, Sirius. I know that she’s not everything she claims to be. She’s a fantasy. I know she’s not really as stupid as she acts. She probably doesn’t dress like she does in her normal life. But she presents to me what she knows I want,” Lucius said, sipping his liquor.

“Then what does she want?” Sirius asked.

“Money, sex, power. That’s what they all want. That’s what _everyone_ wants. Anyone who says they don’t are lying to themselves,” Lucius said.

“So, you’re using each other,” Sirius said.

“If you want to put it crudely, yes. I see it as a trade. Business,” Lucius said and there was a knock on the door.

“Speaking of business,” Lucius grinned, getting up to answer the door.

“Hey, baby,” Doris said, kissing Lucius on the cheek and winking at Sirius over his shoulder.

Lucius patted her ass and guided her into the hotel room.

“Doris, you remember Sirius,” Lucius said.

“Hey again, cutie,” Doris said, blowing Sirius a kiss, making him desperately wish he was somewhere else.

“So, I assume you want to go over my last Portland job,” Sirius said.

“No. I read your emails. I do think you’re onto something there. She’ll slip up eventually,” Lucius said, Doris taking a seat on Lucius’s lap.

“Oh. Well, is there something else you need? I don’t mean to sound impatient. I just don’t want to waste your time,” Sirius said.

“You’re doing a lot for me. I thought I could repay you. What do you want? I don’t mean money. If you could snap your fingers and have anything what would it be? I could pull strings, get you good photography job. I could whisper in the right ears and suddenly your work would be in demand. It goes without saying I could get you all the sex you could want,” Lucius said.

Doris laughed and whispered in Lucius’s ear.

“Doris says that you could have your way with her if you wanted,” Lucius said.

“That’s all right,” Sirius said, gulping.

“Come now. Everyone wants something,” Lucius said.

“Probably. I just kinda feel like, for now, I have everything I want. And I prefer to earn things,” Sirius said, though in truth he just didn’t want any more favors from this creep.

“I can respect that,” Lucius said and Doris whispered in his ear again.

Lucius laughed loudly then said, “Doris… Doris wants to know, Sirius, if you would agree to film us.”

“Film you? You want me to take a picture? I don’t have my camera on me actually,” Sirius said, slapping his pants’s pocket as if he would have it stored in there.

“No. Do I have to spell it out for you?” Lucius said and something in his eyes said it all.

“Oh,” Sirius said, noticing the way Doris was sitting on Lucius, wriggling on top of him in her tightly, sparkly dress, the short skirt leaving little to the imagination.

Sirius’s mind raced. There was nothing in the world he wanted less than to watch these two fuck but this was a chance to just get the proof of the affair definitively and get Narcissa off his back. He could be done with _all_ this.

“All right. Whose phone?” Sirius asked.

Doris stood up and came over with her phone in her hand. She leaned up to his ear and in a breathy whisper said, “Thanks.”

Sirius hit record on her camera and tried his best to capture what was in front of him, as detached as he could be. It was more embarrassing than anything else. He was weirdly surprised to find out that Lucius wasn’t lying about the cock. A half hour later it was over. Lucius passed out on the bed and Sirius made a beeline to leave. But Doris, still naked beckoned him over.

“Go to the bar across the street, the one with the bull on the sign, and wait for me,” Doris whispered quickly.

Sirius nodded, relieved that Lucius was snoring. It was nearly forty-five minutes before Doris finally arrived at the bar, her hair looking wet. Sirius thought he deserved a medal for resisting the urge to buy himself a drink after all that.

“Sorry, took a quick shower. I can’t bear to go around smelling like Lucius. Anyhow, thanks for that. I wanted one really good video. The other ones were fine but… Thanks,” Doris said.

“Whatever,” Sirius said glumly.

“Was it weird? Most guys seem to enjoy that shit,” Doris said.

“It was very weird. As long as I get a copy I don’t care,” Sirius said.

“How was I, though? My performance. Be honest,” Doris said like Sirius was her professor and she wanted him to grade her paper.

“Jesus Christ, Doris. I don’t care. You were great. I mean if you like the whole fake orgasm over the top porn thing. And… calling him daddy,” Sirius said, thinking he would never get that last part out of his brain.

“They weren’t _all_ fake. Only mostly fake,” Doris said.

“Honestly, it’s no offense to you, I just really want to erase the image of Lucius having sex from my brain. Fucking hell, every time I hear the word daddy I’m going to see him thrusting, burned into my synapses,” Sirius said, rubbing his forehead

Doris frowned.

“I’m sorry. I probably got carried away,” Doris said.

“I think maybe you enjoy all that more than I do. I’m just ready for all this to be over,” Sirius said.

“Well, it basically is. I broke into his phone before I left. Took a bunch of pictures and sent it to Aurora. And I’m currently sending you the video we just took which you are free to send to Narcissa,” Doris said, looking at her phone.

“I assume the pictures have some real dirt,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, I’d say,” Doris said, grinning like she’d just discovered there was one more cookie left in the jar.

“You’re taking a big risk. If anything goes down, he’ll know it was you,” Sirius said.

“That’s why we’re playing this smart. My little affair with him will fizzle out soon. I’ll tell him I’ve got a boyfriend and I want to be faithful to him. Yuck,” she said, pretending to retch.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Sirius asked.

“Why, are you asking me out?” Doris said, her face lighting up.

“No?” Sirius said, appalled.

She laughed.

“I’m just fucking with you. I’m gay. I have a girlfriend and yes she knows about all this,” Doris said.

“You’re a lesbian? My mind is blown,” Sirius said, miming an explosion around his head.

“Yeah. And please, God, don’t ask me to explain my choices and how I can have sex with a man or why my girlfriend and I have an open but limited relationship,” Doris said.

“No, it’s cool. I’m poly actually. I have a boyfriend and kind of a girlfriend? It’s complicated. I’m not sure we’ve all figured it out yet. And my boyfriend is involved with my best friend who is having a baby with my sort of girlfriend,” Sirius said.

“You win. You have the weirder story,” Doris said, throwing her hands up in front of her.

“Damn right,” Sirius said.

“Anyhow… I’ll tell him some bullshit. We’ll all lay low for a few months. Let him relax. Then Aurora exposes the story. I will conveniently be out of the country when that happens, just in case but if all goes well, he’ll be going to jail _and_ getting divorced. He is going to have a really bad week and honestly I think it’s going to be pretty sweet,” Doris said.

“I hope you’re right,” Sirius said, filled with a sense of impending dread nonetheless.

* * *

 

“Funny seeing you here. Right now. In a place like this,” James said while Remus sat on the edge of his and Lily’s bed.

“Well, I… I’m here. Because. You invited me,” Remus said, looking disappointed with his every word.

James grinned.

“Still, so fuckin’ cute,” James said, sauntering over and crouching down to kiss Remus, heavy and hard.

Sirius had apparently told Remus they were in the clear. The runway was clear for landing. Shackles broken. Doors unlocked. They were free and James was more than ready, months of tension destined for release.

They fell back into the bed, James desperately trying to lift Remus’s shirt up to pull it over his head. He pulled the shirt off, moving his mouth back into place as their groins slid against each other.

They repeated the same shirt removal game with James’s shirt, James grateful for the feel of hot flesh against his own. He could feel Remus’s heart pounding in his chest while his cock throbbed like mad. James moved his mouth to Remus’s throat and softly sucked, kissing around the curve of his neck and down to his chest. He kissed his left nipple and carried on down, getting to the rim of Remus’s pajamas and pulling down, now kneeling at the foot of the bed.

“There we go,” James said, wrapping his hands around Remus’s cock.

It was somehow bigger than James remembered. Last time they had just masturbated together and he had came in Remus’s mouth. That was nice. But this was going to be better.

James took his time stroking Remus’s cock, getting a feel for it. It was so heavy, hot and hard. Remus was propping himself up on this hands, eyes wide as James slid his hands up and down, gliding over the head and back down to the base. James had never done this before but he and Lily had practiced. She’d shown him what to do with a strap-on.

James wet his lips and kissed the head, slow and sensual. Remus whimpered, his body shifting as if in discomfort. James did it again, even slower, this time parting his lips to wrap around the head before sliding back up.

“Shit,” Remus said, gulping.

This was so easy. James had this under control, he thought, as he sucked the head again. This time he repeated the action immediately, beginning to gradually see how much he could take. Remus was bigger than the biggest toy Lily had. This was somewhat uncharted territory.

It wasn’t long before James had found his limit, deeper than he thought. There was something exhilarating about sucking Remus’s cock. Just the notion made James want to explode in his boxers. He’d thought about this for so long. Sucking cock. Sucking Remus’s cock. He hoped he would remember later to send Lily a thank you message for helping him be ready for this.

“Don’t let me come,” Remus said, begging.

James’s mouth popped off.

“Really? Already?” James asked.

“No. But yes. Just ease up,” Remus said, laughing.

“Hmm. Let’s change gears then,” James said, standing up, swiftly pulling his boxers down.

Remus dove forward, his hands and mouth on James’s cock in an instant, giving back every ounce of pleasure he had received. James placed a hand on Remus’s head, affectionately stroking his hair while Remus sucked deep. Soon, James was also close and he nudged Remus off, getting him to his feet, kissing him and pulling him close, their erections sliding enticingly against each other.

James whispered in Remus’s ear, “I’m down for whatever but I’ll admit that I’ll be disappointed if you don’t fuck me.”

Their faces were close, Remus smiling and pressing his lips into James’s lips.

“Are you sure?” he asked, their faces still touching, his lips moving against James’s as he spoke.

“Very,” James said.

“All right. Let’s do it,” Remus said.

James retrieved the lube and got into position, his ass sticking up as he clutched a pillow. He was in Remus’s hands now. He knew Remus had done his research and he had experience with how to use that mighty thing. James jumped when the lube hit his hole, feeling cold. Then he felt the heat of Remus’s cock pressing against it, rubbing the lube around.

He closed his eyes and Remus eased himself inside just a little. It was tight. Really fucking snug. James wondered how this even worked. How was there even room for it? Whatever. He didn’t care. The deeper Remus got the more exciting it was. He could only imagine what it looked like, his ass pointed up and Remus’s big cock half inside, stretching James to his limit.

It felt unreal. At first, it was mostly the idea of it that was pleasing, but slowly it started to feel good in itself. Hitting the right places. Hitting all of the places. Remus was grunting, his hands gripping James’s ass as he thrust harder than James expected. Remus sounded almost feral. How pleasing that this normally shy boy had given himself over so much in the moment.

“Yeah. That’s good. So fucking good,” James said.

James wished he could reach his own cock but he didn’t dare move. Not now, maybe not ever. He could disappear in this moment if he let himself. Only Remus kept stopping.

“Why are you stopping?” James asked.

“I don’t want to come,” Remus said, James feeling like an idiot but his brain was occupied in the moment.

“It’s OK. I want you to come in me,” James said, trying not to laugh as he remembered that even a year ago he thought he was straight.

Remus fucked him even harder. When he cried out, pushing deep, James let out a sigh of satisfaction. He didn’t understand why this made him happy. Maybe it made him feel closer. Closer to Remus. Closer to Sirius. In a funny way, closer to Lily. Closer to them all.

James realized that he wasn’t the sort to have sex just for fun. It was always about the emotions. The connection. Remus coming inside him felt romantic. He could never say that aloud to anyone with a straight face, but it was true.

“Your turn,” Remus said, as he pulled out.

“You sure?” James asked.

“Yeah,” Remus replied.

In an instant, Remus was where James just was. James a little nervous. Remus’s cock was bigger overall but James was thicker. He didn’t flinch when he was on the receiving end but now he sat with the thick head of his cock resting against Remus’s hole, unable to understand how this was going to work, even with so much lube.

Even still, he pushed, finding it very tight. He went even slower than Remus had gone. He couldn’t bear to risk hurting him, even as Remus urged him to pick it up. Eventually, he got all of himself inside. It seemed impossible but it had happened. The truth was he thought he had enjoyed being on the other end better. It was too tight, even with so much lube. But Remus was moaning and begging him to come in him too.

James still took it slow, making long, deep thrusts, Remus urging him to go faster. When James finally complied he was beyond ready to come. His balls were aching so bad he wanted to cry. He bit his lip too hard when he came, making wretched sounds as he unloaded in Remus, pleasure coursing through him. He was certain he heard Remus whimper again.

“You OK?” James asked, his body still convulsing.

“I came again,” Remus said.

“Oh. Shit,” James moaned, thinking he would never stop coming.

They collapsed in a sweaty heap. James couldn’t help but try to kiss Remus. It was all he could think about. He just wanted to keep showing his love, tangling himself up in his legs and arms, their mouths clamped together. This wasn’t just some extra thing on the side. This was real.

* * *

 

When Sirius made it back to the house he couldn’t immediately see Lily and Aurora.

“Hey, Sirius. We’re up here,” Lily said, dangling her arm over the edge of the loft and beckoning him up.

Sirius shrugged and went upstairs, finding Lily and Aurora laying back in bed, Aurora only in her underwear a tee-shirt.

“Guess you guys are getting along,” Sirius said.

“How’d work go?” Lily asked.

“Umm… Do the words awkward mean anything to you?” Sirius asked.

“Yikes,” Aurora said.

“Yeah,” Sirius said.

“Here. Get in bed. There’s plenty of room,” Lily said, gesturing between her and Aurora.

Sirius was far too exhausted to care where he laid down. Once he was in-between them, Lily slid next to him, putting an arm behind him and resting her head against him.

“We were making out before you got here,” Lily said.

“Oh. Didn’t mean to interrupt,” Sirius said with a chuckle.

“Not literally right before. Earlier. We were making out down there which lead to us making out up here,” Lily said.

“Well, I’m sorry I missed that,” Sirius said.

Lily leaned up and Sirius turned towards her, readily accepting her kiss. As he pulled away he could see Aurora leaning over. This was far more surprising. In all the time they had spent together in Portland this had never happened. As their lips met, he found he liked it. Aurora was a good kisser. Just like that all the terribleness from earlier melted away, erasing itself from his memory.

Lily guided his mouth back to hers with a hand on his cheek. Sirius wasn’t entirely sure what to do so he resigned himself to let whatever was going to happen, happen. Lily sat up and pulled her shirt off.

“Can you help me with my bra?” Lily asked.

Sirius nodded, sitting up and reaching behind her, easily unlatching it so she could slip it off.

“Thank you,” she sighed, tossing it aside then leaning in for another kiss.

Sirius sincerely hoped James and Remus were screwing each other’s brains out right now because they didn’t deserve to miss out on all the fun. When Sirius laid back again, he glanced over at Aurora, seeing that she was now topless and rubbing herself through her underwear. Sirius rolled over to kiss her. She moaned as their mouths met and he was so very turned on. He felt Lily trying to undo his pants so he held still until she had them down to his knees.

Her fingers curved around from behind, rubbing gently. He reflexively pulled away from Aurora to moan.

“Shit,” Sirius said, as Lily’s fingers stroked his clit.

“I want to eat you out but… the usual way might be uncomfortable. Hmm… I’ve got an idea,” Lily said and removed her hand.

Sirius stood up, removing his pants entirely.

“Come crouch over my face. But don’t suffocate me,” Lily said.

Sirius carefully got into position, resting on his shins and Lily grabbed his thighs and pulled him onto her mouth.

“Ohhh,” Sirius moaned as Lily’s mouth went to town on his clit.

He glanced at Aurora and her underwear was off and she was stroking her clit, her long middle finger sticking out as she stroked in circles. This was wonderful. Sirius felt like he could sit there with Lily’s mouth between his thighs forever.

“I’m gonna come,” Sirius said, almost a warning.

Lily didn’t stop and Sirius threw his head back, moaning so loud it echoed through the house. Sirius lifted off, collapsing between them as his orgasm continued to ripple through him. Aurora was moaning next to him, apparently having gotten herself off.

“Your turn to watch, Sirius,” Aurora said, getting up once she recovered and moving around to Lily.

She crouched down and got between Lily’s thighs. Sirius was tired but had a feeling this might go on for a while longer. That was OK. He needed this, he thought, touching himself as Aurora went down on Lily.

 


	8. Pleasing Your Heart

“You don’t have to do everything,” James said as Lily hammered a nail into the wall.

“I’m fine. I’m pregnant, not ill. I thought by now we’d be past this,” Lily said, huffing as she grabbed the framed picture that Sirius took of her last summer, naked and bathed in sunlight.

“Hope our guests aren’t squeamish about nudity,” James said, chuckling.

“People squeamish about nudity are banned from this house,” Lily said, straightening the frame before moving on.

“Fair enough. We should make it a point to have guests. We’ve gotta make friends. People might start to get the impression that we aren’t cool,” James said.

“Ah but you see, if we don’t have any friends there’s no one who will know we aren’t cool,” Lily said, pointing and winking at him.

“My God, you’re a genius,” James said, approaching her from behind.

He wrapped his arms around her, hands resting on her belly as he kissed the back of her head.

“What time is your interview?” Lily asked.

“In two hours. I should probably get moving just in case I get lost and end up somewhere on the other side of the mountains,” James replied.

“Well, try to be safe. I’m sure you’ll knock them dead,” Lily said.

“A genius, absolutely gorgeous, and unbelievably kind,” James said, pulling away before saying, “Couldn’t have married better.”

Lily whirled around, wondering if her ears had deceived her.

“You did it again. You referred to me as if we were married. Something on your mind, Potter?” Lily asked, crossing her arms.

James stared at her, hazel eyes wider than she had ever seen them.

“I guess I just slipped up?” he said, shrugging.

Lily raised an eyebrow, not buying it.

“Skeptical,” Lily said firmly.

James laughed, looking very embarrassed.

“Look, we’ve been together for a year and we’re having a kid. I’m not going to stand here and tell you we have some great, epic love story but in my mind, it feels like a settled matter,” James said.

“That’s interesting. But for the record, it isn’t a settled matter. That sounds like something we’d need to talk about,” Lily said.

“Ah. Um, yeah, obviously. I never intended to… make a thing of it. It’s not like I tell anyone we’re married or engaged. There’s just no doubt in my mind. And it’s OK if there’s doubt for you. I know this poly stuff is complicated,” James said.

“Believe it or not, it’s not the poly thing that’s the issue. I’m never going to marry any of my other partners. But we can talk about it later. After your interview,” Lily said, walking over and giving him a quick kiss.

“Yes, this will definitely help me to relax for my interview. No stress at all,” James said, cracking a smile.

“You’ll do fine. And don’t send me a thousand texts asking if I’m fine. Maybe just four or five,” she said, sticking out her tongue.

‘Will do,” James said, finally taking off.

With James gone Lily put on some music on her laptop, singing along to Lana Del Rey while she continued to hang things up. Eventually, she was forced to rest, laying down on the couch. It definitely felt like her pregnancy was beginning to become more unpleasant again. It was May and she barely had more than two months to go.

She didn’t mind the stretch marks, the varicose veins or the fact that she had to wear pads on her breasts because of leakage. She did mind being tired. There was so much she wanted to do. She got these random whims to do something that would obviously not be safe for her or the baby right now. It was silly because she rarely wanted to do those things while not pregnant, there was no reason they should matter now.

The doorbell rang and Lily screamed, quickly clamping a hand on her mouth in embarrassment. She had forgotten James had installed that. She lifted up from the couch then walked over to open the door.

Lily thought it would be the legendary Hagrid from across the street but instead, it was a couple who were smiling very brightly. She thought they were about to talk about Jesus but they also kind of looked like hippies, their clothing looking very retro. The woman had a pentacle necklace on.

“Hi. We’re your new neighbors,” the woman said, extending her hand.

“Hi. I’m Lily,” she said, shaking the woman’s hand.

“I’m Pandora. This is my husband, Xenophilius,” the woman said as Lily shook his hand too.

“Pleased to meet you both,” Lily said then added, “I like your necklace. I’m a Pagan.”

“That’s really nice,” Pandora said.

She was pretty. A little odd, perhaps. James did say they needed to make friends.

“Always good to meet a fellow child of the forest,” Xenophilius said, Lily thinking that was a peculiar but acceptable way to phrase that.

“Please, come in. If you want. I can make you tea,” Lily said.

“That would be very nice,” Pandora said and Lily headed to the kitchen.

Once they were able to sit down at the dining table Xenophilius explained the various local clubs they were in.

“You would love our Bigfoot group. They are enlightened, freethinking people. Open to possibilities,” Xeno said.

“I like our Pagan group but Xeno thinks they are uptight,” Pandora said.

“I don’t know. They should open their minds more. See what’s in front of them,” Xeno said.

“Fair enough,” Lily said.

“Oh, is that you? In that picture. That’s beautiful,” Pandora said, pointing at the nude of Lily.

“In the flesh. Though my flesh is looking a bit different these days,” Lily said.

“Xeno and I are trying to have a baby. I feel good about getting pregnant next month,” Pandora said.

These two were definitely odd but Lily liked their positivity. They would provide more than sufficient distraction while she waited for James to return.

* * *

 

James wondered if he should’ve worn a tie as he sat in silence as he waiting to get called into his interview at Bonzo Industries, a small Seattle gaming company who was hungry for programmers and new games.

The vibe at the office seemed pretty chill. People smiled and waved at him as they walked by and he could’ve sworn he heard someone singing.

“James Potter?” a woman said.

James stood up, finding himself standing in front of a tall white woman, wearing thick-rimmed glasses and having short, black hair.

“Hi. Septima Vector,” she said with a smile, gesturing at James to follow her.

This felt a little strange but James decided to roll with it, following her to what he assumed was her office.

“So, James. I played your demo. That was pretty cool. It says that you have an associate’s degree in computer science. But you obviously must’ve self-taught yourself a lot of stuff,” Vector said.

“Yeah. Since I was like thirteen? I wanted to study video game design specifically but that wasn’t in the cards,” James said.

“We don’t really require degrees here. Just passion and talent. I’m really curious about your game. It’s different than what we’ve been doing. My people have mostly been working on puzzle games. But I like the first person, hybrid action-role playing thing you’ve got going on. I’d like to develop it but I don’t think we have the budget yet to anything that. So, we might have to keep that as a side project for now,” she said.

She proceeded to ask him plenty of other questions. Questions about his interest in video games, when he was moving to Seattle and his past jobs. She didn’t seem concerned about any of his answers but James was still nervous until she said, “Well, I think we’d love to have you.”

“Oh. Really?” James said, thinking he would have to prove himself.

“Yeah,” she said, laughing.

“Awesome. That’s great. Thank you,” James said, shaking her hand.

He knew that the pay probably wouldn’t be amazing and he’d probably be programming other people’s designs for a while but this was exciting. He had his foot in the door for something that had been his dream or a long time.

He felt like he was floating in the clouds as he drove back home, ready to take Lily out for a nice meal to celebrate. To his shock, there was no one home when he got there.

“Lils?” James called out, only hearing his own voice echoing.

He checked his phone. He’d been so excited he had forgotten to catch up on his texts.

 

**I’m next door with our new friends, the Lovegoods.**

 

James rushed back outside, feeling stupid that he was so nervous. He knocked on the door of their mint-colored home and got a quick answer.

“Hello. You must be James. I’m Pandora,” a woman with long, sort of unkempt dirty-blonde hair said.

“Nice to meet you,” James said.

“Hey, James,” Lily said, gesturing him over to where she was seated on their sofa, apparently playing some sort of board game.

“My husband had to go to work. Lily has been keeping me company,” Pandora said.

“That’s nice of her,” James said, absolutely bursting to reveal his news.

“Look at him. He looks like he’s about to explode,” Lily said.

“Oh. We just had this carpet cleaned,” Pandora said, making James laugh.

“I got the job! I got the job!” James said.

“Yay,” Lily said, standing up and hugging him.

“I can’t believe it. I mean, I’m barely going to be making more than my current job but… it’s really happening,” James said.

“I’m so proud and excited for you,” Lily said then added, “Maybe it will be my turn next. Pandora takes an acting class she really recommends.”

“Oh, you’re an actor?” James asked Pandora.

Her pale eyes stared at him, blinking.

“No. I just like learning things. You never know when you might need to know something. I took a sewing class before that. Learned some woodworking. It’s good to keep the brain sharp,” Pandora said.

“Fair enough. You should learn some programming. That’s a profitable skill these days,” James said.

“I am a programmer, actually,” she said.

“Ah. Well, high five,” James said, giving Pandora a high five, making her laugh hysterically.

“I guess we should go home. I’m getting tired anyway. It was nice hanging with you, Pandora,” Lily said, giving her a hug.

“You as well,” Pandora said, quickly hugging James as well, startling him.

“So, our conversation earlier,” Lily said as they walked back into the house.

“Right. I had forgotten,” James said.

“Really? Then it must not be important, never mind,” she said, sitting down on the couch.

“Lily!” James said, Lily cackling.

“I’m just fucking with ya. So, speak your mind. Then I’ll speak mine,” Lily said as James sat down beside her.

“I don’t know. I just feel like… Regardless of when it happens, I know that I want to marry you. I don’t _have_ to marry you. This isn’t an ultimatum. I do think there are some practical good reasons for it, especially since we’ll have a child together,” James said.

“Understandable. I think for me… I’ve just always felt marriage was a load of patriarchal bullshit. But it’s hard to deny there are benefits. And now that marriage equality is the law of the land… I feel maybe ten percent better about the institution of marriage,” Lily said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“Yeah, I agree. The entire idea of marriage is stupid and outdated. We don’t need it to valid our love,” James said.

“You’re such a romantic, James. You’d never tell me you want it. Maybe you’d never admit it to yourself but… I can tell. The stupid thing is that I kind of want it too,” Lily said, James turning to face her sharply.

“Really?” he asked.

She shrugged.

“Intellectually? No. Emotionally and sentimentally? Yeah. Why is everything so hard? The battle between pleasing your heart and pleasing your own ethical standards is exhausting,” Lily said, yawning as if to make a point.

James couldn’t help but yawn too, then he said, “I’ve always favored my heart. It rarely steers me wrong.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not true but it’s a nice sentiment. Screw it. Let’s get married,” Lily said, sounding resigned.

“When?” James asked.

“After the baby’s born. But not too soon… Don’t want to get married in autumn or winter… Next summer. Can you wait that long?” Lily asked.

“I can wait until the end of time,” James said.

“Aww. You are such a sap. I can feel myself blushing, you’re the worst,” Lily said, her head resting against his arm.

“That’s what it’ll say on my tombstone. James Potter. He was the worst,” James said, thinking this was a damn good day.

* * *

 

“Are you ready for your boy, Bernie, to get wrecked?” James asked Sirius who had just sat down next to him on the sofa.

“As if. He’s going to take Oregon just like he took Washington,” Sirius said.

Remus and Lily looked at each other uncomfortably. Remus wasn’t looking forward to another Hillary vs Bernie debate.

“That was a caucus. This is a primary,” James said.

“You just wait,” Sirius said then added, “Everyone is feeling the Bern.”

“In fairness, he can’t win the nomination,” Remus said, having followed the numbers pretty well since the beginning and never truly having expected Bernie to win.

“Yeah, because of the fuckin’ super delegates,” Sirius said.

Remus turned to Lily and shrugged, knowing that once Sirius got started he wouldn’t stop. He left the room, heading towards the kitchen.

“What a mess. Electoral politics are garbage,” Lily said, coming in behind him.

“I suppose so,” Remus said.

“I mean, I voted for Bernie but… It’s all kind of stupid,” Lily said.

“You’re telling me,” Max said, entering the kitchen.

“I just want someone who can beat Trump. I can’t believe he’s going to win,” Remus said.

“It makes sense. Plenty of racist white people who have been waiting for someone like him to say the things publicly that they’ve been saying and thinking privately. I’m not even surprised,” Max said.

Remus couldn’t say Max was wrong but it certainly made him uncomfortable to think about.

“I think he’s going to win,” Lily said.

“That’s premature. I refuse to think about that. Not yet,” Remus said.

Lily smiled at him. Max sighed.

“Just need to abolish the whole thing. Burn down the government. Start over,” Max said.

“Don’t let James hear you say that. He’ll flip,” Lily said with a chuckle.

“Oh, I know. Believe me, I _know_ ,” Max said, heading down into the basement.

Remus leaned over on the kitchen island, elbows first.

“You really think he’ll win?” Remus asked.

“Just preparing for the worst. There’s something in the air,” Lily said.

“Woohoo!” Sirius shouted back in the living room.

“I’m guessing that’s the sound of Bernie winning Oregon,” Remus said.

“Booo!” James called out.

“Definitely,” Lily said and they headed out to investigate.

* * *

 

“Time is running out,” Marlene said.

“Yeah,” Lily said with a sad sigh.

“Do you even know what I’m talking about?” Marlene asked.

Lily turned around from where she was standing in front of the self-help books.

“Yes… No?” Lily said.

Marlene smiled.

“I was saying that I was thinking about signing up for this summer reading club. I’ve thought about it every year since I moved here. Maybe this is the summer,” Marlene said, flipping over a flyer.

“Yeah. You probably should,” Lily said, taking a book off the shelf and putting it in its proper place, far away in the sports section of all places.

“I would ask what your summer plans are but…” Marlene said.

“Yeah, I’m pretty locked down. And the gang is getting itchy for moving. Everyone is getting packed. I’m trying to decide what things that belonged to my aunt should remain. Probably most of it. It was never my style, anyhow,” Lily said, searching the shelves for more out of place books.

“Sounds like chaos. I hate moving. I’ve done it very few times if I’m being honest,” Marlene said.

“Me too. Technically. Moved out of my parent's house into an apartment. Then moved from there to here. This is only my third move. Not bad for twenty-two, eh?” Lily said.

Marlene snickered.

“I suppose so. Of course, my first move was from Iran to England. Lived there until my mum and dad divorced when I was fifteen. Lived here ever since,” Marlene said.

“I guess we’re about to be tied, then,” Lily said, finding an adult romance novel in with the kid’s books, probably because there was a robot on the cover.

Actually, Lily decided she was curious, bringing the robot book to the check stand, and slapping it down.

“Robot shagging, eh? Never knew you were the type,” Marlene said, smirking as she rang her up.

“I have a curious mind. And a lot of time on my hands. Spending most of my free time sketching and reading. I feel like I became an adult at some point. I must’ve missed that. Maybe it happened while I was sleeping,” Lily said, pulling some cash out of her wallet and handing it to Marlene.

“It does sneak up on you,” Marlene said.

“You want to know the worst thing? I don’t really miss weed anymore. Which is a good thing since I won’t be able to smoke around the baby. I’m still not sure what we’ll do once the baby is older. We were all so caught up in how cute that house was that we didn’t think about there not being space for the baby,” Lily said.

“What are you going to do in the short term?” Marlene asked.

“We’ll keep them with us in the loft. James wants to add another room to the house or even a couple. Sounds like a headache but we’ll see,” Lily said.

“Fair enough,” Marlene replied handing the robot-fucking book over.

* * *

 

“I can’t believe we’re already bringing boxes up here. Some of which don’t belong to either of us,” Lily said, as James dropped a heavy one down.

“For whatever reason, Sirius hasn’t been keen on coming up here lately. Maybe because of all that nonsense he got wrapped up in,” James said, his arms already feeling tired.

“James, are you serious about adding another room here?” Lily asked.

“Semi-serious. It’s not like I can snap my fingers and make it happen. But we could add a room over here,” James said, placing a hand on the southern living room wall, next to the kitchen.

“We don’t need it immediately, obviously. The baby should be fine with us for a while. Just something we should think about,” Lily said.

“Yeah. Definitely. Maybe. Sirius and I can start talking about it once we’re all settled,” James said, heading back out to get more boxes.

“Hello there, neighbor!” Hagrid’s voice boomed out from the road.

“Hello, Hagrid. How are you?” James asked.

“I’m fine, fine,” Hagrid said, walking up the driveway.

“We’re still moving things in,” James said, wrapping his arms around a big box and struggling to lift it.

“Here. Let me,” Hagrid said, scooping the box up with ease.

James smiled and grabbed a smaller box, following Hagrid into the house.

“Hello, Hagrid,” Lily said, already opening a box and pulling stuff out of it.

“Good to see ya, Lily,” Hagrid said, beaming.

“Thanks for the help, Hagrid. I’m twenty-two but my back doesn’t feel a day under fifty-two. Technically, I’m supposed to take it easy on my back. Had a bad injury when I was in high school. Forced me to quit soccer,” James said.

“Which you still play on the weekends,” Lily said, her green eyes glaring at him.

“Yeah, well. Man can’t be expected not to enjoy his life, right?” James said.

“Speaking of enjoying your life. How would the two of you like to come over and have lunch with me? I’ve made a great big pot of vegan stew!” Hagrid said.

“You’re vegan?” Lily asked.

“Isn’t everyone in Seattle?” James said.

“Just about,” Hagrid said, laughing.

“Absolutely. I would love that,” Lily said, pulling herself to her feet.

Once they were across the street, Lily was delighted to discover the Lovegoods were also over for lunch.

“Xeno, this is James,” Lily said as they sat down at Hagrid’s large, rustic dining table.

“Pleased to meet your acquaintance,” Xeno said, shaking James’s hands.

Hagrid’s large dog, Fang, roamed around the table but Hagrid gave him a bone to chew on so he dropped to the floor.

Hagrid and the Lovegoods seemed externally different in every way but when put together they made a lot of sense. They were all outcasts of sorts. Lily had never really felt like an outcast but she wondered if her comfort around them meant she always was.

Then again, no one in their right mind would call James Potter an outcast and he quickly seemed even more comfortable than she did. He was devilishly adaptable, she thought.

“You know, James, I’m envious of you. You can become friends with anyone,” Lily said as they returned to their home.

“That’s not true. I can’t be friends with Republicans. Would end badly,” James said.

“Fair. But still,” Lily said.

“I don’t know. I like people. Everyone has something interesting to say. Talking to good people gives me faith that maybe the world isn’t so terrible,” James said.

Lily sighed.

“Wish I shared your optimism right now,” Lily said, heading up to the loft.

“Does feel like the world is changing around us,” James said, coming up behind her.

“No. Not changing. Just revealing itself. But that’s OK. At least we have some new friends,” Lily said, sitting on the bed.

“That we do,” James said and kissed her forehead.


	9. Isolation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a warning that this chapter digs into homophobia, transphobia and gun violence a little. Slightly more intense than average.

It all happened so fast. Narcissa gave birth to her child, naming him Draco. Days later the sex tape leaked. Within a week of the birth of her son, Aurora released her detailed report. Lucius was arrested, charged with numerous counts of fraud and other corporate crimes Sirius didn’t fully understand.

No one heard from Doris. She wasn’t identified in anything. He was careful not to show her face in the sex tape. She was laying low, just as promised. Sirius didn’t really understand what she got out of all this. He found it hard to believe anyone would go through all that just to destroy someone you didn’t care about.

Sirius went up to Seattle to visit Regulus the following weekend, bringing Remus with him. He hadn’t seen Regs in months. It felt odd to be sad about that, having believed he was dead for so long.

“Hello!” Abby said when she answered the door, giving Remus and Sirius warm embraces.

“Good to see you again, Abby,” Sirius said as she lead them inside.

Regulus was seated at his dining room table. Abby seemed to be cooking something that smelled delicious, Sirius’s stomach rumbling on instinct.

“Hell of a month,” Regulus said, smiling.

“Yep. Just got a text a few minutes ago. Narcissa has filed for divorce,” Sirius said.

“Good to know,” Regulus said, Remus and Sirius now seated next to each other at the honey-colored table.

“So, how’re things on your end?” Sirius asked, nervous about the answer.

“Well… there’s been some unexpected turns. Turns out Andromeda and Narcissa were smarter than we thought,” Regulus said.

“Interesting. Tell me more,” Sirius said, leaning in.

“Turns out the mortician they umm… Well, the one that they used to pull this off has a history of being shady. And he had a long association with one Walburga Black, our mother,” Regulus said.

“Oh,” Sirius said, realization dawning.

“They think our mother pulled it off. I told them that my theory was that when I disappeared she thought she would prefer me dead, rather than to live in shame. And she had a life insurance policy on me, can you believe it?” Regulus said.

“What about the mortician? Seems like he could debunk that pretty fast,” Sirius said.

“Dead and all his records burned in a fire,” Regulus said, throwing his hands up.

“Jesus. Did Narcissa have him killed?” Sirius asked.

Regulus laughed.

“No, no. He died of old age. The fire was a separate thing. He probably did it. Destroying evidence of his misdeeds,” Regulus said.

“But he wasn’t the only one involved,” Sirius said.

“No, but the police are coming up cold. And, Sirius, well… our family still has a lot of dirty dealings in San Francisco. Mom always said she had the police in her pocket. Once the trail lead them to her… things changed. They seemed less invested,” Regulus said.

“So, what happens now?” Sirius asked.

“For now, I’m free. It could be years before I know I’m completely in the clear but it’s not illegal to disappear and that’s what I told them I did. I’m working on getting the government to recognize I’m alive. Social Security is a motherfucker,” Regulus said.

“I can only imagine. Well… I’m happy for you. I still feel a little weird about the Narcissa thing but I’ll get over it, I guess,” Sirius said.

“Have you heard from her recently?” Regulus asked.

Sirius shrugged.

“Barely. She wants me to stop by at her new place in Portland. Probably to threaten me into my continued silence, remind me how much she hates me. The usual drill,” Sirius said.

“I don’t really get why the two of you don’t get along. You aren’t _that_ different,” Regulus said.

“Not _that_ different? Are you mad? We may share a small amount of DNA but we couldn’t be more different,” Sirius snapped.

Regs laughed.

“I don’t know. You both will fight for the ones that matter to you. Both have dangerously sharp tongues. And Narcissa was wild as a teen. She was a troublemaker like you. But she changed under pressure. Conformed when you chose not to. I don’t condone her choices but I understand her,” Regulus said.

Sirius frowned.

“Well, whatever. We’re never going to be friends,” Sirius said, considering the matter settled.

* * *

 

Nervousness was going to drive James mad. It had taken him days to work up the courage to tell Lily that his ex-girlfriend, Charity Burbage, was coming by for a visit. She was, most uncomfortably, bringing her husband, Lily’s former friend, Severus Snape.

Last summer he had attended to their wedding in Vermont, during which time Lily uncovered that Severus was already cheating on her. James had ultimately insisted on telling Charity about it which backfired when Charity chose to defend him.

In the months since, he and Charity had gradually made amends and by all reports, she seemed happy. But the moment of truth had arrived.

Lily seemed calm that morning. With only a month and a half until she gave birth she was maintaining her serenity well. James was forever in awe of her.

“Hello!” Charity called out as James opened the door.

James embraced her, having forgotten how short she was. Charity was still a ball of glowing light. Upbeat and full of optimism, still wearing the golden cross necklace that she had when he met her. Wearing all white made her look a bit like a tiny angel.

Severus Snape stood smiling behind her, carrying a sleeping baby in a car seat. He looked more clean-cut than James last remembered, wearing a green button-up and black slacks. He practically looked like a youth pastor, even with the long black hair.

“James,” Severus said, extending a hand for him to shake.

“Severus,” James said politely.

“Is Sirius here?” Charity asked.

“Ah, no. He is up in Seattle with Remus. He’s dealing with family stuff,” James said.

“Oh. That’s a shame,” Charity said, giving the briefest of frowns.

“Something smells delicious,” Severus said.

“Lily’s made lunch,” James replied, leading them all to the dining room.

Lunch was remarkably undramatic, Lily and Charity mostly talking about pregnancy while Severus remained silent. His silence didn’t appear to be from discomfort or boredom. On the contrary, he seemed to be enjoying listening and keeping his mouth shut. Still. James believed he was a bag of dicks until proven otherwise.

When the baby woke up, Severus leaped right up to care for her. Perhaps he was a good father. That was something. When Lily got up to pee that left him and Charity alone.

“So, how are things?” James asked.

“Good. Really good,” Charity said, a pleasant smile on her face.

“That’s good,” James said.

“Mostly good. It’s been a long year,” Charity said, some cracks finally showing.

“Yeah. Though it felt like it just flashed by to me,” James said.

“Yeah, it did. Funny how that happens. But… umm. Yeah. About all at that stuff… about Sev,” Charity said.

“You don’t have to say anything. I was wrong to interfere,” James said with a polite smile.

“Probably. But still… It lead to some important conversations. Sev denied it all at first but then… he came clean. He apologized for everything. And since then… he’s been better. He’s taking his engineering studies very seriously. He’s been nicer to people who aren’t me. Cut most of the arrogance. And he’s in therapy,” Charity said.

“He did that all on his own?” James asked, surprised.

“Every bit of it,” she replied.

“Huh. So, you think you two can make it?” James asked.

Charity frowned a little.

“I’d love to say yes but… We get along great. There aren’t any problems between us. But month after month I realize that we are different people. We have nothing to talk about most of the time. And there are other things… other ways in which we aren’t compatible. But… we have the baby. Isabella,” Charity said.

“Charity… I’m sorry,” James said.

She laughed.

“Don’t be. I’m just trying to be realistic. I hope we make it. But love and a baby isn’t enough. Things still have to work,” she said.

* * *

 

“Hey, Sev,” Lily said, finding Severus sitting on the front porch, baby Isabella in his arms.

“Hey, Lils,” Sev said.

“You seem like you’re doing well,” Lily said.

He laughed.

“An illusion. With a baby, work, and studying I’m a shell of a man. Thank God, for Charity,” he said.

“Yeah. How have the two of you been?” Lily asked.

Severus made an unsure face and shook his head.

“It’s hit or miss. I know that I don’t really deserve her and we got off to a really bad start. All I can do is keep trying,” he said.

Lily sat down on the bench.

“Does she seem unhappy?” Lily asked.

“Not exactly,” Severus said.

“Are _you_ unhappy?” Lily asked.

He glanced at her and smiled.

“I’ve never been happier. I think we just both know that we shouldn’t be together. But we are. We’re married and we have a kid so walking away isn’t easy. We were too young for all this. But you can’t undo the past,” Severus said.

Lily wanted to make suggestions on things they could do but realized she would only be complicating things. Besides, what did she know? She was virtually in the same position, except that she and James seemed to work. And they had other partners. It was different, she thought.

“Well, I wish you luck and I’m glad to see that you have grown,” Lily said.

“Yeah. About that. I… wanted to apologize. I want to make an unequivocal apology for how I treated you in the past. I was wrong to have sex with you after your mom died and to lie about not taking it too seriously. And… all of that. I was an idiot. And I’m sorry about last summer. All that shit I said about you having a block when it came to me,” Severus said, looking genuinely ashamed.

“Thank you,” Lily said.

“I know we’ll never be friends again and that’s OK. We’re all moving away anyhow. Charity’s family is leaving here so we’ll never be coming back. You’re moving to Seattle. We’re talking about moving to New York,” Severus said.

“I wouldn’t say never. But trust takes time to rebuild.We’ll see,” Lily said, offering him a small smile.

“I won’t hold you to that. But thanks,” Severus said, a hint of a smile on his lips as well.

* * *

 

“Sirius, wake up,” Remus said, shaking his sleeping boyfriend.

“Hmm?” Sirius said.

“Wake up,” Remus said.

“I am awake. What time is it?” Sirius asked.

“It’s three. I’m kind of freaking out,” Remus said.

“Why? Is something wrong?” Sirius asked.

“There was a shooting. In Orlando,” Remus said.

Remus proceeded to explain the details. A gay nightclub. Dozens dead. After he was done explaining they were both silent. At some point, they fell asleep. When Remus woke up, around seven he had a headache. He’d cried a little too much. Sirius was already awake, over in the main house. They were supposed to be headed back to Oregon today. But doing anything just felt like… too much.

Remus got dressed, did his morning things in the bathroom then headed into the main house. Sirius was cooking breakfast.

“Eggs and bacon. God, I love you,” Remus said, coming up and wrapping his arms around Sirius’s waist, kissing the side of his neck.

“I thought we needed some protein. There’s a candlelight vigil at Cal Anderson Park tonight. I was thinking we might go,” Sirius said.

“Tonight? I thought we were going home today?” Remus asked, pouring himself some orange juice.

“We were. We still can. But… I’d kind of like to do this. I’m grieving,” Sirius said.

“We all are,” Remus said.

“James and Lily are going to a vigil down in Oregon. There are vigils happening everywhere,” Sirius said, scooping the eggs onto a plate, handing it off to Remus.

“Thanks,” Remus said, taking it over to the dining table.

Remus wanted to go to the vigil but also he wanted to go home and retreat to the attic. He remembered his mother’s plea months ago not to isolate himself. He inhaled and said, “OK. Let’s do it. Let’s go to the vigil.”

Sirius sat down, setting his plate in front of him, smiling.

“Thanks,” Sirius said, probably knowing that it was hard for him.

They went downtown early, wandering around and enjoying the atmosphere of the city. Stores had Orlando support signs in the windows, a small comfort. Remus had noticed that no one really talked about the fact that it had been Latin Flavor night at the club. They weren’t just queer people, they were queer people of color. He was also a queer person of color. He rarely thought of himself as such until reality came crashing in to remind him.

When it got closer to evening, they walked up to Capitol Hill. Hundreds were already there. So soon before Pride. What a wound, he thought.

Everything that followed was a new, beautiful, and sad experience. Candles passed around, held in tiny cups, everyone lighting the candles of their neighbors like a unifying flame, encircling them all. A choir sang. People spoke, including the mayor of Seattle and the governor of Washington. It was gone so fast. And then they went home.

They collapsed in bed. Remus felt weary but hopeful. At some point, he kissed Sirius. The kissing lead to nakedness and mutual relief. And then they slept.

 

* * *

 

Narcissa’s new condo wasn’t as lavish as Sirius expected. He wondered if that was by choice or necessity of her current circumstances.

“Hello, Sirius,” she said as she let him and Remus inside.

“Hello,” he said, hoping they could get this over with quickly.

“Did you go to the vigil last night? I went to the one here,” she said.

“Yes, we did. I’m surprised you went,” Sirius said.

“Why? Am I not queer enough? I should go wake my sleeping girlfriend up and let her know you don’t think so,” Narcissa said with a sly smirk, gesturing for them to sit down on her very nice looking white sofa.

“No. I guess you just didn’t seem the type,” Sirius said, sitting down.

“To care? You really don’t think that much of me,” Narcissa said with a scoff.

“Because I know what you came from,” Sirius said.

“I came from the same place you did,” Narcissa said flatly.

“I mean, yeah, but,” Sirius said.

“Actually, I believe Walburga Black was worse than either of my parents,” she said.

“That’s a low bar,” Sirius said.

“True. Anyhow. Would you like to see the baby?” she asked, no hint of irony on her face.

“Uh. OK,” Sirius said, unsure if he was being polite or not.

Sirius followed her around a corner and into a baby room where the very small infant rested.

“He’s precious,” Sirius said.

“Isn’t he just?” Narcissa said, beaming.

Sirius felt so many things at that moment. He was looking forward to the birth of James and Lily’s baby. He was wishing he did have family he cared about. He wondered what sort of person Draco Malfoy would be.

“Is this why you wanted to see me?” Sirius asked.

“No. Let’s go back to the living room,” she said.

Sirius followed her and sat back down.

“I suppose I wanted to thank you. I only wanted proof of an affair but you went further than I could’ve hoped. Lucius is going to prison for a long time,” Narcissa said.

“He’s a rich white dude. He’ll be out in two years,” Sirius said.

“So cynical. All the same, he’s out of the picture. I have you and your friends to thank for that,” Narcissa said.

“Narcissa, you could’ve thanked me over the phone,” Sirius said.

She frowned.

“Yes. I could have. But we’re family. Never forget that,” she said.

Sirius stared at her for a moment then shrugged.

“OK. I’m gonna go now,” Sirius said, standing up.

“Wait. Just… listen. If you ever need anything. Need a favor… ask. I mean it. There will be no strings or conditions,” Narcissa said, sticking a hand out or Sirius to shake.

Sirius looked down at her hand like it was a polka dot colored badger, reluctantly shaking it, still not believing it was real.

* * *

 

“There are so many people,” Remus said.

“Yeah. I was a little worried after Orlando. Glad to see everyone is unafraid,” Sirius said.

Remus wanted to mention that he was, in fact, afraid. He was almost always a little afraid but right now he was doubly afraid, as they wandered through Capitol Hill. James and Lily were at the new house relaxing. They were coming to the Parade tomorrow but Lily wasn’t keen on walking around in the heat all day.

Remus wasn’t really keen on walking around in the heat either, not that he had pregnancy to worry about. He didn’t think he minded the heat as much as the people. But they seemed like they were all having fun. There were drag performers singing and endless booths of people selling stuff.

Remus mostly followed Sirius’s lead. At least he could be lost in a crowd. Lost in all the noise and bright colors and voices much louder than his own.

They circled around the block, stumbling upon a bookstore. Another one with cats, remembering the one in Fremont.

“You seem uncomfortable today,” Sirius said as they made their way around the store.

“Sorry. It’s just a lot,” Remus said.

“Yeah, but. Last year. You seemed happier. You wore a skirt,” Sirius said.

“I don’t know,” Remus said, lying.

“Is something wrong? Can I help you?” Sirius asked, seeming concerned.

“Nothing is wrong. I’m fine,” Remus replied.

Sirius dropped it and they carried on walking through the store. Naturally, neither of them purchased anything and went back outside.

“What the hell do people actually do for fun during Pride except participate in capitalism?” Sirius said, irritated.

“Get drunk,” Remus said.

“I’m gonna have to pass on that one,” Sirius said.

“Me too,” Remus said.

“So, what do we do? Go back to the crowd? We could walk over to Cal Anderson. Or just walk down Pike,” Sirius said.

“I don’t know,” Remus said, unable to hide his lack of enthusiasm.

Sirius stared at Remus and sighed.

“If this is all too much for you when can go home,” Sirius said.

“No. Let’s walk to Cal Anderson,” Remus said.

“All right,” Sirius said, sounding frustrated.

Where two weeks before had been people mourning, was now people relaxing and enjoying a sunny day. They sat down next to the water.

“You’re right. Things are different,” Remus said.

“What’s up?” Sirius said, rubbing Remus’s back.

“I think I’ve been hiding away too much,” Remus said.

“I thought having everyone around the house would’ve helped,” Sirius said.

Remus snorted.

“No, they made it worse. Plus I was working all the time on that book. For months and months, I was locked away, alone in my room. Working on that book. Sure, I had lots of visits from you… except while you were living in Portland for three months,” Remus said.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” Sirius said, sounding regretful.

“I don’t think anyone did. I didn’t. Then my mom said something back in March about needing to not isolate myself and… Yeah. I have been. Not entirely deliberately. But it’s like, whatever good last summer did was erased. Now it all feels hard again. I don’t feel free. I feel afraid. And you asked about the skirt… that’s a whole other can of worms,” Remus said.

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked.

“My entire life I’ve learned how to be invisible. To not be seen. To not be noticed. Not easy being a Korean kid but I tried. What I feel inside is complicated. Hard to define. But having the comfort to bring that to the outside is tough. I could play at it when I was in the right mood but… I don’t want to get killed. I know that sounds stupid but it’s how I feel,” Remus said, trembling.

Sirius’s mouth opened briefly then closed, seeming uncertain what to say.

“I don’t want to stand out at the best of times. How can I then take an extra leap and femme up my appearance to appear less masculine knowing what happens… What happens sometimes,” Remus said.

Sirius looked down at his knees, seeming genuinely caught off guard.

“I don’t know what to say. Except that none of us should be afraid,” Sirius said.

“I know. But that doesn’t make the fear go away,” Remus replied.

“I’ve never been afraid. I was afraid of my family when I was younger but… I never worry. And these days most people I meet just see me as a dude,” Sirius said.

“There’s a fear of the feminine, especially where people think it doesn’t belong. I just want to live,” Remus said, faintly realizing he was crying.

“Me too. Me too,” Sirius said, turning and pressing his face against Remus’s, finding that his cheeks were wet too.

They kissed through the mass of Sirius’s hair, their lips tinged with salty tears.

“Let’s walk around some more. I think it would be good for me,” Remus said.

“All right. Whatever you want,” Sirius said and took Remus’s hand, leading him back into the crowd.

 


	10. Where Love Lives

“Seems like I’m always helping you move,” Aurora said, falling back on Sirius’s bed.

“I didn’t make you do anything. I invited you to visit here before I moved and you offered to help,” Sirius said, crossing his arms.

“You knew I would offer,” she said.

“That’s fair,” he said, laughing.

“You and I do make a good team, though. I have a scheme,” Aurora said, biting her lip and waggling her eyebrows.

“Please tell me you don’t want to go after another rich, powerful asshole. I’m still recovering from the last one,” Sirius said.

“Not immediately. But maybe. With time. I’ve gotten some job offers after my piece came out but I don’t want to get sucked up into some big corporate thing. I am thinking about going to work for a website based out of Seattle just so I can pay the bills but… no. You and me. We could start our own… blog. Or whatever. We can expose dirty things. Dirty secrets of Seattle elites,” Aurora said.

“Seattle isn’t exactly Gotham City, Aurora,” Sirius said.

“But there are lots of rich people there. And where there are rich people, there’s shady shit. Hell, we could go after Amazon,” she said.

“Delusions of grandeur. Everyone knows they treat their employees like glorified slaves and they are still on top of the world,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, well, it couldn’t hurt to try,” she said.

“Could it? Maybe it could. But whatever. I don’t have anything else going on,” Sirius said, throwing his hands up.

“Yeah!” Aurora said, pumping her fist.

“So, what’s this website you’re going to work for?” Sirius asked.

“The Emerald Dragon. Run by some woman named Skeeter. Rita. Rita Skeeter,” she said.

“Well, maybe you can swing me a job too,” Sirius said, winking.

“Maybe so,” she said, seeming very pleased.

* * *

 

“The house is starting to look empty. You’re leaving me with all the old people stuff,” Max said, looking around the living room.

“I’m sure you can make it hip,” Lily said.

“Nah, it’s fine. Gives it character. Maybe I’ll start dressing old-timey. Get a monocle,” Max said, wiping dust from an old vase in the antiques room Lily had never found a use for.

“Max, this stuff is from the sixties and seventies, not the 1890s. You’ll have to get bell bottoms and tie-dye. Maybe a nice leisure suit,” Lily said.

“I could rock it,” Max said.

Lily imagined Max in that get-up and thought the idea was quite nice.

“So, our new neighbors in Seattle are kind of hippies. Especially the wife. She has this Pagan group she wants to drag me to. Might be cool,” Lily said.

“Cool. I really hope you all thrive up there. This town… It’s got a nice view of the ocean but that’s it, man,” Max said.

“It had good people. Has. It still has good people,” Lily said, thinking of Marlene in particular, knowing their goodbye approached almost as rapidly as her due date.

“Yeah. There are always good people. I’ve learned that on the job. Different faces with the same hearts,” Max said, adjusting a picture frame that was probably of some relative of Lily’s on her dad’s side.

“I like to picture you on a motorcycle, going from town to town, picking up chicks,” Lily said.

“I wish. I’m not that glamorous. And I couldn’t carry the medical supplies on a bike. And honestly, I’ve been kind of light on partners of late,” Max said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah. I know Dorcas and I have been preoccupied,” Lily said, frowning a little.

“That’s not what I meant. You guys are fine. I’ve just kind of been a lone wolf. I don’t mind it,” Max said.

Sirius and Aurora entered the room.

“Hey, guys. We’re about to head out,” Aurora said.

“Drive safe. Is Remus not going with you?” Lily asked.

“Nah. He’s staying here,” Sirius said.

“Oh. OK,” Lily said and waved as they left.

Max sighed.

“I’ve actually got to hit the road too. Take care, Lils,” Max said, giving Lily a hug.

With the house empty, Lily went upstairs, knocking on Remus’s door.

“Come in,” she heard from the other side of the door.

Remus was laying in bed, laptop on his chest.

“What’s kicking?” Lily asked.

“The baby?” Remus said.

“Yeah. Always. I meant with you. I was surprised you aren’t going to Seattle,” Lily said.

“Oh. It’s nothing. I mean we’ll be living there full-time soon, anyway,” Remus said.

Lily came over and sat down at his desk.

“Just wanted to make sure you’re doing fine,” Lily said.

Remus looked uncomfortable, keeping his eyes on his laptop screen rather than her.

“Did Sirius tell you about last month? The stuff at Pride?” Remus said.

“No. What happened at Pride?” Lily asked, missing the days when they told each other everything.

“Nothing really,” Remus said.

“Remus, can you look at me?” Lily said, as gently as possible.

He sighed and set aside his laptop, sitting up and facing her.

“Thank you. I’m worried about you. You never leave this room anymore,” Lily said.

“I know. Believe me, I know. And I wish… I could change how I feel. But I’m scared all the time. I’ve started to feel like the only way to be safe is stay here. In the attic,” Remus said.

“Remus,” Lily said, reaching over and placing her palm on his cheek then saying, “Is there anything I can do to help you. I can help you find a therapist after we move.”

“No. I can do that myself. I _should_ do that myself,” Remus said, quickly correcting himself.

“Well, I hope you do. For your own sake,” Lily said.

“I will. I promise. I think things in Seattle will be better. For all of us,” Remus said.

“OK. Well… I’ll let you rest,” Lily said, heading out of the attic.

Once she stepped outside Flitwick was mewing at her feet.

“I’ve fed you, kitty,” Lily said, crouching to pick him up and carry him downstairs.

“Ooo,” Lily said, letting Flitwick go as she rubbed her abdomen.

The Braxton Hicks contractions always caught her off guard. They didn’t hurt but they also weren’t comfortable.

“Oh, baby. I’m ready to give birth to you,” Lily said, rubbing her belly.

The baby kicked and she giggled. She felt like they were already good friends.

* * *

 

“That’s that then,” Sirius said, as he watched balloons fall from the ceiling onto Hillary Clinton at the Democratic National Convention.

“You’re damn right,” James said.

“I don’t get it. What do you see in her? She’s so… boring,” Sirius said.

“Boring is good. You don’t get politics, Sirius. Everyone wants a revolution but the revolution isn’t coming. It’s not that I hate socialism. I’m cool with socialism. But the rest of America isn’t,” James said.

“The rest of America is stupid,” Sirius said, glaring at James.

“Well, that’s a winning attitude. Talk down to them. Hope you never run for office,” James said.

“I’ll pass. But look. I’m definitely not a revolutionary. But I think voters want to be excited. They don’t want to vote for someone just because they don’t want to vote for the other guy. People are never going to be fired up about Hillary Clinton,” Sirius said.

“Dude, the other guy is a literal fascist and a racist. People are gonna be out in droves to stop this guy from getting into office,” James said.

“You’re naive, James,” Sirius said, sighing.

“You’re lucky Lily’s baby is due in a couple of days, Sirius, or I’d kick your ass right now,” James said, chuckling.

“Asshole,” Sirius said.

“Maybe. But listen. Hillary Clinton is more experienced than any other presidential nominee in history. She was first lady. She was a senator. She was the Secretary of State. She’ll be ready for the job on day one. You have to admit that experience matters,” James said.

“I’m not denying it. But I want to hear new ideas. Progress is already too slow,” Sirius said.

“On that, we can agree,” James said, patting Sirius on the shoulder.

* * *

 

“It’s sweltering,” Sirius said, having collapsed onto the living room floor.

Lily walked over her bare feet near his face.

“I’ve noticed,” Lily said, wearing a pink bikini top and matching shorts, despite being indoors.

“I can’t go on. This is the end,” Sirius said.

Lily tapped his shoulder with her toes and he laughed.

“Ugh,” Sirius said, pulling himself up.

“Yet you live,” Lily said, smirking.

“Unfortunately. Speaking of living, how are you feeling, Ms. Three Days Past Her Due Date,” Sirius said.

“I’m feeling… still pregnant. The contractions aren’t getting any more fun,” Lily said, wincing as she rubbed her belly.

“Well, you look beautiful,” Sirius said.

Lily gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re such a sweetie,” Lily said then went around to sit down on the sofa.

“Only on my good days. Lately, I’ve been a grump. I don’t know how I got stuck with most of the moving. Oh right, I volunteered. Stupid me,” Sirius said and joined Lily on the sofa.

“It’s almost over,” Lily said and made a face, suddenly looking uncomfortable as she shifted in her seat.

“What’s up?” Sirius asked.

She didn’t respond, looking a little grossed out.

“Uh, yeah, so… Either I just _seriously_ peed on myself or my water broke,” Lily said.

“Oh. Shit,” Sirius said.

“I’m going to call my doctor,” Lily said, and stood up, awkwardly walking over to the bathroom and closing the door.

Sirius grabbed a towel and put it on the sofa, unsure what you used to get amniotic fluid out of upholstery. Lily was out of the bathroom after a couple of minutes and said, “Sirius, I need you to grab Remus then take me to the hospital. I’ll grab things and text James.”

Sirius ran upstairs immediately, banging on Remus’s door as soon as he arrived.

“Come in,” Remus called out.

“No. You come out. Baby! Baby time!” Sirius shouted.

Remus was at the door in a flash.

“Baby time?” Remus said, staring.

“Yeah. Move your ass!” Sirius said and ran back downstairs.

Within a minute Lily and Remus were ready, Sirius already sitting in the car, engine running.

“You don’t have to be so intense, Sirius. You and I are overdue some serious weed smoking time. Maybe you should start meditating,” Lily said as she got into the car.

“I’m just trying to get you to the hospital quickly,” Sirius said.

“Sirius, this isn’t like the movies. Just take some deep slow breaths,” Lily said, then made a pained sound.

“Typical. You’re going into labor and trying to take care of everyone else,” Sirius said, pulling out of the driveway now that they were all in the car.

“Don’t get used to it. These contractions are really motherfuckers,” Lily said.

“Are they getting worse?” Sirius asked.

“That’s how this works, traditionally speaking,” Lily said, grimacing, her hands on her belly.

“Ah! Like the movies!” Sirius said.

Lily scoffed and Sirius was certain he could almost hear her rolling her eyes.

“Oh, baby. You were almost an August baby, weren’t you?” Lily said.

“Well, if you really draw the labor thing out you could maybe make it to midnight,” Sirius said.

“Fuck off,” Lily said then chuckled softly.

At the hospital, they went through the main entrance. Sirius had started to head for the emergency room but Lily insisted she’d been told to go to the front. Inside they guided her to the maternity ward.

“Hi. I’m Lily Evans. I’m here to have a baby. I’ve already pre-registered,” Lily said at the nurses’s station.

“I guess we’ll go sit down,” Sirius said.

“No. Stay with me until James gets here,” Lily said, her hand clamping on Sirius’s.

Shortly they brought Lily to a birthing room. The nurse asked Lily a ton of questions and had her change her clothes and pee in a cup. Sirius felt anxious. He knew it was stupid and that Lily’s pregnancy had been fine from top to bottom but hospitals always made him nervous.

Minutes later James Potter arrived, his feet sliding into the room due to the speed at which he was moving, looking like he’d just popped out of a romantic comedy.

“Oh my God, James. Don’t hurt yourself,” Lily said, James instantly at her side.

“Are you OK?” James asked.

“I’m fine. I’m waiting on Dr. Varma,” Lily said.

“You told them you wanted an epidural, right?” James said.

“Yes. And it’s on my registration. And the doctor knows too and I’ll remind her anyway,” Lily said.

“It’s so weird,” Remus said.

“What is?” Lily asked as Remus walked over to the bed.

“I don’t know. You’re having a baby. It’s like it just hit me. You’re really having a baby. That’s pretty cool,” Remus said.

Lily smiled and said, “Yeah. It is.”

* * *

 

James was in awe. His and Lily’s baby lay on Lily’s chest, mouth clamped onto her breast. These past hours had gone by so fast.

“You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever known,” James said, placing a hand on top of hers.

“I’m not the first human being to ever give birth, James. But you know what? I’ll take it. I’m still feeling fine from the epidural but I bet tomorrow I’m gonna be hurting. And I guess sex is off the menu for a while,” Lily said.

“I don’t care about that. I’m just… happy,” James said, aware that he hadn’t stopped crying since the baby had been born.

Remus and Sirius arrived, having been summoned not long ago.

“Already breastfeeding?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah, they are already ready to go,” Lily said.

“I hope you guys have settled on a name. It’s gonna be awkward to only refer to it as baby,” Remus said.

“Their name is Harley. We really went back and forth on names. Wanting to find a nice gender-neutral name that would also work as a name if they grew up and decided they wanted to keep it,” James said.

“Harley like Harley Davidson or like Harley Quinn?” Sirius asked.

“Maybe both,” Lily said, it now appearing that Harley had fallen asleep.

“I like it,” Sirius said.

“Me too,” Remus added.

“What about the last name?” Sirius asked.

“Still undecided. I feel like they should have James’s last name. I thought about Evans-Potter but it doesn’t have a ring to it,” Lily said.

“I forgot you two aren’t married,” Remus said.

“Me too,” James said, finding it hard to focus on anything but the tiny one.

“Well, I guess we are going to go home,” Sirius said.

“Thank you for being here,” Lily said, reaching out a hand to Remus and Sirius who both held it in turn.

“When will you come home?” Remus asked.

“Another day or so. Everything went fine but you have to be sure,” Lily said.

Remus nodded in response and he and Sirius left, hand in hand.

“I love our family,” Lily said, her eyes following them as they left.

“Me too. I would die for any of you. Even this little one who I’ve only just met,” James said, gently placing a palm on the baby’s back.

“Well, hopefully, none of us will require your death anytime soon,” Lily said, chuckling.

“Eh. I’ve always been looking for a cause worth dying for,” James said and leaned down to kiss Lily’s forehead.

* * *

 

“I’m glad to be out of there. I’m not mad but I do get tired of correcting nurses who misgender the baby,” Lily said, double-checking that Harley was secure in their seat.

“Don’t worry, I’m plenty mad. I’m just too tired to care,” James said, getting into the driver’s seat.

“Peter, Max, and Dorcas are all at home waiting to see the baby. Marlene wants to come by as well,” Lily said, sitting down in the passenger’s seat.

“How are things there with Marlene?” James asked as the car started to move.

Lily sighed.

“It feels weird to just leave without… resolution. It’s like we both know it’s ending but we don’t want to talk about it. And I just feel guilty,” Lily said, not wanting to be reminded of her troubles.

She was so exhausted. Even after nearly two days of hospital rest. So exhausted that she fell asleep on the drive home, having to be woken up by James. Lily was a little disoriented, momentarily forgetting whether it was very early in the morning or late in the evening.

She remembered. It was morning and the sun was just starting to come up. She got out of the car, pulling the car seat out from the back. To her relief, everyone seemed to still be asleep when she got inside.

Lily looked around at the house. It was so strange that in a few weeks she wouldn’t be here anymore. It also felt very appropriate. The baby would never know this house. The house where she met James and Sirius. The house where their love was forged.

She started to cry, gripping the back of the sofa.

“Lily? What’s the matter?” James asked, placing a hand on her back.

“It’s nothing. Just emotional,” Lily said, trying to pull herself together.

James rubbed her back which felt intensely soothing in this movement. Managing to stifle her sniffles she walked over to the archway that lead from the living room into the hall and stairwell, placing a hand on the old wood.

“The love we created lives in our hearts. But I think it lives here too. I need to remember to bring Harley here to see their Uncle Max. I think that’s important,” Lily said and headed upstairs.

The next few days were only different than the previous two in that Lily didn’t have nurses checking up on her periodically. She was tired. All she did was sleep and look after the baby. While she lay in bed with the baby sleeping not far away she dreamt about all the things she could do now. The things she wanted to do in Seattle. She also thought of all the things she would be able to show their child as they grew. She couldn’t wait to see who Harley became and what sort of life they would lead.

The last few years had gone by so fast and at times she had wondered if having a child on a whim with someone she hadn’t really even been dating for half a year was such a great idea. She still wasn’t sure but she didn’t regret Harley. She couldn’t.

On Friday Marlene came to visit. Lily finally felt all rested up and was downstairs packing some last-minute odds and ends while Grimes played on Spotify via the television.

“Come in,” Lily said, leaning up to give Marlene a small peck on the lips.

“You look energetic,” Marlene said, smiling at Lily as she slipped off her shoes.

“Really? I think I look frumpy. Flannel, old stained tank-top. Paint stains all over my pants,” Lily said, looking down at her clothes.

“I didn’t mean your fashion choices,” Marlene said.

“Oh. Yeah, I got a lot of sleep and I’ve had like two pots of coffee so honestly I’m ready to climb Mount fucking Everest now,” Lily said and started dancing to Grimes, thinking the song sounded happier than the lyrics actually were.

 

_Cal-al-al-ah-al California_

_You only like me when you think I'm looking sad_

_Cal-al-al-ah-al California_

_I didn't think you'd end up treating me so bad_

 

“Where’s the baby?” Marlene asked, looking around as if they were hidden somewhere under a table.

“Upstairs with James. He’s a great dad as it turns out. I can have him bring Harley down,” Lily said, pulling out her phone and sending him a text.

“Oh, you don’t have to disturb them,” Marlene said, raising a hand.

“It’s fine. Besides. We move in two weeks,” Lily said, getting a sinking feeling in her chest.

Marlene briefly looked away and Lily felt guilty. Lily cleared her throat and said, “But yeah. I feel like… giving life has given me more life. I’m ready to conquer the world,” Lily said, pumping a fist.

Marlene looked at her again, cracking a smile.

“You’re still a firecracker,” Marlene said, touching Lily’s cheek.

James came down the stairs, Harley in his arms.

“They’re sleeping,” James said, handing Harley over to Marlene, who looked very surprised.

“Oh no, my heart is melting. Oh my,” Marlene said, staring wide-eyed at Harley in her arms.

“Infinitely lovable,” James said.

“They look like James, I think,” Marlene said.

“We’re taking bets on how the eyes will end up. Hazel vs green,” James said.

“My mom had brown eyes. They could end up brown,” Lily said.

“I think they look a little green-tinted,” Marlene said.

“That’s just the light. They are blue. For now,” Lily said.

“Maybe so. Either way, this child is blessed,” Marlene said, passing Harley back over to James.

“I certainly think so,” James said.

The degree to which James was bonding with the baby warmed Lily’s soul. Not all her choices were bad. But a problem needed to be faced when it came to Marlene. The question was how to go about it.

“Hey, Marlene. Let’s step outside onto the porch,” Lily said.

Marlene slipped her shoes back on and followed Lily out.

“Lily, you don’t have to-“

“No. I feel like I do. I just wanted to leave us on a good note. A strong note. We’ve… kinda been dating for a year. We’ve been dating longer than James and I had been dating when we decided to have a baby together, Marlene,” Lily said.

Marlene bitterly chuckled.

“I’ve only had one relationship that lasted longer than this one. It ended badly,” Marlene said.

Lily frowned and tried to soldier on.

“I’ve… never broken up with someone who I loved and that loved me back. I’ve dumped lots of dudes because they were jerks and meant nothing to me. I don’t know how to end something good,” Lily said, fighting back tears.

“Me either. I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t have to have this conversation,” Marlene said.

Marlene was definitely crying and that was enough to release the floodgates for Lily.

“I’m sorry. You just have to understand. I’ve been with Max and Dorcas for seven years. And sure, our relationship has evolved and isn’t the same as it used to be but the connection has remained,” Lily said.

“I can’t give that to you. It would kill me. It is killing me,” Marlene said, full-on sobbing now as she sat down on the bench, pulling her hair back as she cried.

“I’m sorry. I fucked up. I never should’ve-“

“No! Please don’t say you shouldn’t have tried to date me in the first place. That would be too cruel,” Marlene said.

“Sorry,” Lily said, wiping at her cheeks with the sleeve of her flannel, feeling a headache coming on.

“Stop saying you are sorry,” Marlene said, seeming to have stopped her own tears as she stood back up.

“I don’t know what else to say,” Lily replied, finding it hard to believe she had been so filled with joy minutes before.

Marlene exhaled.

“There’s nothing you need to say. Lily, you still have some growing up to do. You can’t have everything. Sometimes things don’t work despite all the best intentions. You didn’t hurt me out of malice or callousness. We took a risk together and I am glad that we did. I pray that someday you learn that not all your choices will bear ripe fruit and that it doesn’t mean you stop planting seeds,” Marlene said and started to leave the porch, heading back to her car.

“Marlene!” Lily said, running after her despite her current barefoot state, the ground muddy from rain the night before.

“Lily, I can’t-“

“No. I just wanted to say… thank you. For everything,” Lily said.

Marlene gave her a small, almost polite, smile, nodding as she got into her car.

 


	11. Like a Painting

“Look who I brought,” Lily said as she marched into Molly and Arthur’s.

Molly Weasley let out a happy yelp and dashed over from the cash register. Harley was awake and lying in car seat peacefully.

“Hello, Harley. It’s wonderful to meet you,” Molly said, crouching in front of them.

Harley kicked a little but that was the most reaction they made.

“They were just napping,” Lily said.

“They?” Molly asked, staring at Lily.

“We’re not gendering the baby. We want to give them a chance to figure it out for themself,” Lily said.

“Oh, right. You mentioned that. I still don’t understand exactly but I’ll try my best,” Molly said, waving at the baby as she stood back up.

“Thank you,” Lily said and gave Molly her best half hug.

“When are you moving?” Molly asked.

“Next week. We’re actually mostly moved already. The house will be ready to live in from day one,” Lily said.

“Well, I’ll miss you. You’ve been a bright spot in this town for the last year and a half,” Molly said, gesturing for Lily to follow her upstairs.

“Feels so much longer than a year and a half. Feels like three years at least,” Lily said.

“Well, you know what they say about time flying,” Molly said, arriving together upstairs, Molly heading into a room.

“That you shouldn’t judge two birds in a bush by their cover?” Lily called out.

“What?” Molly said.

“Sorry. Mixing up my metaphors,” Lily said, laughing to herself.

She looked at Harley. Harley was kicking a lot.

“I bet you’re hungry, Harle,” Lily said and pulled them out of the car seat, going over and sitting down at the dining table.

Lily lifted the top layer of her shirt up, popping her breast out then picked Harley up, guiding them to latch onto her nipple. Molly came back into the room with baby Ron in her arms.

“I thought maybe they would want to meet,” Molly said.

“Oh, sorry. Decided to breastfeed,” Lily said.

“It’s not a problem. Once you’re done,” Molly said and sat down at the table.

Despite his current size, Ron Weasley already looked much like his other family members, with a startling amount of fiery red hair on his tiny head.

Once Harley was done feeding, Lily let them and Ron say hello to each other. Ron, being older, was naturally a little more responsive.

“Don’t you just love it?” Molly said as they headed back downstairs, Ron back in bed.

“Being a mom? Yeah,” Lily said.

“Still. So young,” Molly said.

“I’m twenty-two. I’m not too young,” Lily said.

Molly laughed.

“I remember being twenty-two and thinking I was so grown up. You can never really understand,” Molly said, getting behind the check-out counter.

“Understand what?” Lily asked.

“That adulthood isn’t something that just happens when you turn eighteen. It’s a process that never ends. We’re all just fumbling through and trying to figure it out as we go along. You don’t grow up. You learn up. You gain experiences. You learn to know better. You learn when to say no, when to say yes. And you get to know yourself,” Molly said.

“I do know myself. I’ve known who I was since I was fifteen,” Lily said.

Molly chuckled.

“Perhaps. But if change comes don’t be afraid to embrace it. The entire reason I’m here is because I called off my engagement and ran off with Arthur. I moved to this town, got pregnant and helped him reopen this old family store. All because everything was telling me it was the right thing to do,” Molly said.

“But what if something isn’t the right thing to do?” Lily said.

“Then you learn. Failure is your best friend. Don’t forget that in Seattle, Lily,” Molly said.

Lily smiled and approached the counter.

“Thank you, Molly. For all your kindness. And for being my only real friend in this town. Promise you’ll stay in touch,” Lily said.

Molly reached over to touch her shoulder.

“Only if you’ll promise too.”

* * *

 

Ocean breeze fluttered Sirius’s hair as he stood with his eyes closed on the beach, his feet in the water. The August sun covered him in heat.

“How was that?” Sirius asked, opening his eyes and turning around.

He heard the camera click and laughed.

“Sorry, had to take that shot. You looked too cute,” Remus said.

In honor of their final weekend in town, they were going around, taking pictures. Of particular importance was this spot, the beach where Sirius had taken his first photo of Remus.

“I’m sure I did,” Sirius said, smirking.

“Here you go. Camera back to the master,” Remus said, handing it over while bowing a little.

Sirius turned the camera over in his hands.

“I didn’t damage it,” Remus said laughing.

“Oh. No. I was just thinking. You called me the master. I’m not so sure I am,” Sirius said as they began to walk away from the beach.

“Of course you are. Your work is great,” Remus said.

“What work? Remus, the only photography I’ve done all year has been my cousin pretending to pretend to not be having an affair or filming her husband doing things I’d prefer scrubbed from my brain,” Sirius said.

“So, you’re having a lull. I’ve been extra reclusive this year, but look at me, outside in the sunlight,” Remus said, raising his hands to the sky.

“No, you don’t understand. I… I don’t care,” Sirius said and Remus turned around to face him.

“Of course you care,” Remus said.

“No. I don’t. And listen it’s not like before where I was afraid or thought I couldn’t. I just… have lost my passion for it,” Sirius said.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll come back,” Remus said.

“I mean if it does that’s fine but… Right now I really don’t care,” Sirius said and snapped a picture of Remus’s surprised face.

“Really?” Remus said.

“Really. I don’t know. For the last year, photography has just felt like… work. The job in Portland, all the Lucius and Narcissa nonsense. I still care about art but… it’s just not there for me with photography anymore,” Sirius said.

“Weird. So what are you gonna do?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know. Lily likes art stuff. Maybe I’ll ask her,” Sirius said.

“Sounds like a plan,” Remus said and they carried on the sidewalk.

The town wasn’t too big but it was big enough that circling around and going to different parks lasted deep into the afternoon, at which point they arrived at home, sweaty and sunburnt.

“Where is everyone?” Remus said as they went inside.

“Who knows. Let’s take a shower together,” Sirius said.

“All right,” Remus said and they ran upstairs.

Inside the bathroom, they both rapidly removed their clothes. If there was something Sirius hadn’t lost his passion for, it was Remus. Remus was art. Sirius had always been a fairly apathetic atheist but Remus’s entire being continued to make him reconsider. Could something so beautiful and perfect occur purely by accident?

In the shower, they washed each other, Sirius relishing in this intimacy. It wasn’t sexual, at least not entirely. There was a space between sex and simple intimacy and this existed within that. When they were done and Remus shut the water off, he turned around to face Sirius and they couldn’t resist, their lips meeting in an instant. It took Remus’s erection pressing against Sirius’s belly for them to pull apart, not wishing to take up the bathroom in case anyone came home.

They didn’t bother getting dressed yet, instead grabbing their things and running right into the attic. Remus laid down on his bed, naked, beautiful and very aroused.

“You look like a painting,” Sirius said.

“Or a photograph,” Remus said, teasing, his leg jutting off the bed to rub against Sirius’s thigh.

“Would you let me take you like this? I’ll do it in black and white. A big, hard cock in color is porn, in black and white its art,” Sirius said.

“Right now, I would do anything for you,” Remus said.

Sirius grabbed his camera. He climbed onto Remus’s desk chair to get a good angle down and snapped a single photo. That was all he needed.

“There. Perfect. Just like you,” Sirius said, setting the camera on the desk then hopping off the chair with a little thud.

“Now, what do you want to do with me?” Remus asked.

Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, placing his fingers on Remus’s chest and lightly dragging them down his torso, making him giggle.

“I want to make you want to come. I want to make you want to come so badly you’re begging and crying. And then I want to force you to wait,” Sirius said.

“For how long?” Remus asked, Sirius’s hand slipping over his cock.

“Until we get to Seattle,” Sirius said, grinning wickedly.

“Mmm. That’s cruel. I like it,” Remus said.

“I thought you would. Now, lay back and enjoy your torture. If you’re really good I’ll let you eat me out after,” Sirius said.

“Mmm. I’ll try my best,” Remus said, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against his pillow.

* * *

 

Lily took a deep breath and entered the book store. Harley was at home with James. For this, she needed to be alone. This mattered.

“Lily,” Marlene said, neutrally.

“Hi, Marlene. Don’t worry, I’ll be brief,” Lily said.

“OK,” she replied.

“I just wanted to say… I thought a lot about what you said. And you’re right. I do have a lot of growing up to do. And I do want everything. No one’s really called me out on it, but it’s true,” Lily said.

“I wasn’t calling you out,” Marlene said in protest but Lily just waved her hand.

“No. It’s fine. It was true. I’ve taken for granted that I’m always going to get what I want because I always have. I’ve kept Max and Dorcas around all this time. I converted James to polyamory and convinced him to make a baby with me and in retrospect, I kinda barely knew him,” Lily said.

“You make it sound like you’re bad but-“

“No. I’m not bad. I didn’t do any of that out of malice. It was all love and everyone else always had a choice. The point is that I’m so used to getting what I want… I think I thought when push came to shove we wouldn’t have to say goodbye. You would say you could deal with this distance. Maybe you’d say you were finally interested in polyamory. Maybe you would even move to Seattle. Everyone else is, after all!” Lily said, throwing her hands up.

Marlene frowned and didn’t reply. Lily cleared her throat.

“I’m not perfect. I know. I’m young and more stupid than I want to admit. But everything I do is always out of love. I just wanted to say… I’m sorry. I thought a lot about this apology and I still fucked it up. But I just couldn’t leave things like that,” Lily said.

Marlene came around the counter to Lily, placing a hand on her arm.

“I forgive you on the condition that you forgive yourself,” Marlene said.

Lily smiled and said, “I’ll try.”

“Good. Now go to Seattle and kick its ass. Be the woman you are meant to be,” Marlene said.

“Will you pray for me?” Lily asked.

“Always,” Marlene said and kissed her forehead.

* * *

 

James took one last look around the house. This was one of only three houses he had ever lived in. It was the shortest he had ever lived anywhere. His sentimentality for this house, in particular, was lesser than it seemed to be for Lily and Remus. It was the people he fell in love with, not the house.

In truth, the house had always felt like a grandparent’s house, and not just because Lily had kept so much of her aunt’s decor up. It was just an older house, despite various renovations along the way.

Still, a part of him would miss it. A part of him would miss the town too but when he thought about it, everything from the town he cared about was gone or soon would be. Things move on. It’s the nature of life, he thought.

Max wasn’t there to say goodbye when James locked up. Peter and Dorcas had already moved into their new Seattle apartment two weeks ago. Even Remus and Sirius had left a couple of hours ago. There was no one to say goodbye to.

“Everything good?” Lily asked as he got into the car.

“As far as I can tell. I’ll admit I’m glad I won’t be having to be making these trips anymore. Driving across Oregon and half of Washington is tiring and really burns through gas,” James said.

“The baby is sleeping. Hopefully, they’ll sleep through most of this,” Lily said.

“Hopefully,” James said and slowly pulled out of the driveway.

Sentimentality finally hit as they drove out of town. He knew he would be back here someday. Secretly he thought Lily might sell the house eventually. Max seemed the type to get restless and want to move on. It might be better to sell it to someone who would love it. But he would never suggest that. That idea would have to come from her.

“I’ll miss this town,” Lily said.

“Me too,” James said, allowing himself to admit that as they headed up the coast.

* * *

 

Casually, Remus and Sirius walked up to the front door of their new home. Remus unlocked the door then stepped inside, turning around to grab Sirius by the collar and pull him inside as well, pushing him against the wall.

Sirius let out a loud, echoing laugh as Remus’s lips pressed into his. This was Sirius’s fault. Almost a week of edging and Sirius’s teasing him had lead to this. All on the trip Sirius talked about sex and all the things he wanted to do to him, knowing there was nothing he could do about it. Now they were home and alone and Remus was ready for his relief.

Sirius pulled his mouth away and said, “So forceful. I love it.”

Remus started pulling at Sirius’s belt, not even sure what his end goal was. Sirius pushed away from the wall and started moving into the living room, forcing Remus to follow, his hands still on Sirius’s belt.

“Where are we going?” Remus asked, laughing.

“I don’t know,” Sirius said and suddenly slipped, falling to the floor and landing on the rug below.

“Ow,” Sirius said.

“Are you OK?” Remus asked.

“Apparently. Except you seemed to have stopped undressing me,” Sirius said.

Remus smirked and knelt down, finishing the removal of the belt with a hard yank, making Sirius bounce on the floor. Sirius reached up and placed a hand on his on Remus’s groin, rubbing his cock through his pants, momentarily throwing him off his game. Remus fell down, their mouths locking as he ground his cock against Sirius. The friction. He needed it _so_ bad.

No. He had to stop. He grunted and lifted up, pushing himself to his feet.

“Get up,” Remus said.

“Whatever you say,” Sirius replied, pulling himself up with a crooked grin.

“We could use James and Lily’s bed,” Remus said, nodding behind him.

“Seems impolite. We’re doing too much talking, though,” Sirius said and pushed Remus into the wall next to the kitchen.

Sirius’s hand pressed hard against Remus’s cock, making squeezing motions as if trying to grip it through the fabric but continually failing.

“I’m fairly certain that I need to suck your cock,” Sirius said, falling to his knees faster than Remus could respond.

“As long as this isn’t going to be more teasing,” Remus said, Sirius getting Remus’s pants open more efficiently than Remus had managed his.

Sirius’s hands wrapped around Remus’s cock and began to suck.

“God!” Remus said, already on the edge.

Part of Remus just wanted to come so he could end his torment. Another part relished the torment and wanted it to continue indefinitely. Either way, Sirius was holding nothing back forcing Remus to try to will himself not to come.

“I don’t want to come like this. I want to fuck you. God, I want to tie you up and really have my way with you,” Remus said.

Sirius pulled his mouth off and looked up at Remus, saying, “Well, I don’t have anything for that right now but we could look into it.”

“Just get on the floor. Put your hands on the coffee table. Get naked. Not in that order,” Remus said and started to unbutton his own shirt.

He’d been enjoying the blowjob but he knew he couldn’t hold on. His balls already hurt too damn much. He’d been like this before. He knew coming only once wasn’t going to cut it.

Sirius did as told, kneeling with his hands on the coffee table and his ass stuck out. His pants were still on, however. Remus knelt down, reaching around Sirius’s waist and and finding him already unbuttoned and unzipped. He clearly wanted to make Remus do it. He obliged Sirius, roughly pulling them down.

“We don’t have any lube unless you want me to run out back to get it,” Remus said, rubbing between Sirius’s thighs, finding him joyously sopping.

“Mmm. As much as I find the notion of your big cock bouncing in the wind as you gallop through the backyard, I think I’m good. Just be careful… at first,” Sirius said.

Remus got in position, gripping Sirius’s hips and pushing in. He was expecting more resistance than he got, sliding in with ease. He almost could’ve come then but he held still and took a deep breath before going deeper.

“Ah. I love that feeling,” Sirius said as Remus pulled out then pushed in again.

“Me too.”

Soon Remus was able to quicken his thrusts. This wasn’t the first time they had been a little rough. Remus had been timid the first time. He didn’t think it was who he was. He didn’t want to hurt Sirius. But Sirius had other ideas and was always very good at getting Remus to see his perspective.

“Fuck yeah. This is what I need,” Sirius said.

Remus slapped his ass and fucked him harder. He couldn’t hold on.

“I’m going to come. I can’t- Oh, God,” Remus said then groaned long and loud, feeling as he painfully came inside Sirius.

“Oh my God. How much are you coming?” Sirius said, pushing back against Remus as his cock still pulsed.

“Everything. But not enough,” Remus said, trying to keep the friction going as he thrust.

“Are you still going?” Sirius asked.

“Yes. I can get hard again. I want to come again,” Remus said, knowing from past experience he could will himself into getting hard again, especially when he’d been edging.

“OK,” Sirius said.

It was hard to break through the post-orgasmic haze that made sex seem like some sort of boring task, like assembling a bookshelf. But with just enough determination and friction he started to get hard again, just before he almost slipped out.

“James and Lily should be here soon. Do you think you can come again before then?” Sirius said.

“Yeah,” Remus said.

“You are amazing, Remus Lupin. How did I get so lucky?” Sirius said.

Remus didn’t answer. Instead, he focused on thrusting as hard as fast as it would take to empty the rest of the tension he’d been storing up. A minute later he hit the peak again, this orgasm actually feeling better than the first.

“Christ,” Sirius said as Remus suddenly felt too lightheaded and overheated.

He needed to lie down stat.

“Shit,” Remus said, slumping as he fell out of Sirius.

“We just got come on the rug,” Sirius said, looking at the floor.

“Yeah, I saw.”

* * *

 

While James got the baby out of the car, Lily went to open the door, carrying Flitwick’s carrier. The door was unlocked. She stepped inside and Remus was scrubbing the rug in the living room.

“Already spilling stuff, I see,” Lily said, opening the door to the cat’s carrier and letting him loose.

Flitwick mewed then ran off, probably finding a new hiding spot.

“Guess I’m clumsy,” Remus said, looking a little embarrassed as he watched the cat zip past.

“It’s not a big deal. Where’s Sirius?” Lily asked.

“Showering.”

Lily went back outside to get her suitcase that carried in it the last things she had yet to bring with her to Seattle. After all this time it finally felt real. Their new life wasn’t some theoretical someday thing. It was happening now, all around them.

Pandora Lovegood was sitting on her front porch and waved at Lily. Lily waved back, looking forward to getting to know her better and join her Pagan group. She pulled the suitcase inside and went right over to sit down on the steps up to the loft. James brought Harley inside, carrying them in his arms.

“We should get a second crib for downstairs,” James said, lightly rocking the baby in his arms.

“Are we still talking about adding another room?” Lily asked.

“I mean, we don’t have any choice unless we just want to move again in a year or so,” James said.

“Why didn’t we just get someplace else? We didn’t have to live here,” Remus said.

James rolled his eyes.

“ _Now_ you tell me,” he said.

“He’s right. I guess this is what happens when four twenty-two year olds by a house together,” Lily said.

“So, what are we doing tonight?” Sirius asked, strolling into the living room, his hair still wet.

“Sleeping,” James said.

Sirius frowned, turning to Lily seeming to think she would give him respite. Lily smiled.

“I don’t know. I’m kind of with Sirius,” Lily said.

“All right, Lils,” Sirius said, pumping his fist.

“Well, I don’t mind sitting here with the baby if you guys want to have fun,” James said.

“Cool. What shall we do?” Lily asked, standing up from her place on the stairs and smiling brightly.

* * *

 

“He looks _nothing_ like you,” Lily said, pointing at the singer of the band they were watching perform, the Hobgoblins.

“Right? I was insulted,” Sirius said, feeling vindicated.

“I’m insulted for you. Also, is it weird that I kind of dig this band?” Lily said, absently stirring her drink.

“I suppose not. The fans are called Hobbys, by the way,” Sirius said.

“Damn right we are,” a woman’s voice said.

Sirius turned to see a woman with short, dark-pink hair, a pink skirt and a pink top that read Babe is sparkly letters approaching them. It took Sirius a moment to recognize her.

“Doris,” Sirius said, narrowing his eyes.

She arrived at the table and yanked off he sunglasses, saying, “In the flesh.”

She winked and stuck out her tongue in rapid succession.

“Hi?” Lily said.

“Lily, this is my… well, this is Doris Purkiss. She’s a Hobby,” Sirius said.

“Pleased to meet you. Aren’t you just adorable?” Doris said, shaking Lily’s hand.

“Thanks. I’m Lily Evans. Before you get too impressed with my cute outfit, I should warn you they are maternity clothes. I just gave birth a couple of weeks ago,” Lily said, Sirius surprised she didn’t just take the compliment.

“And already on the prowl,” Doris said, sounding impressed.

Lily laughed.

“Not at all,” Lily said.

“Sirius, you never told me you had a girlfriend,” Doris said.

“Doris our… friendship or whatever isn’t exactly conventional. Actually… are we friends? I’m not so sure,” Sirius said.

“I think I’m your friend. Are you my friend?” Doris said, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius shrugged.

“I guess I can be. But all that stuff from before? No more of that. I’m not helping you with any schemes,” Sirius said and Lily shot him a glance.

“Don’t be distressed. Sirius helped me with a thing. He’s a babe,” Doris said.

“I’m not distressed. Just curious,” Lily said, looking back and forth between them.

“I’ll catch you up later,” Sirius said.

“So, is that a yes?” Doris asked.

Sure,” Sirius said, not really having any major problem with it, beyond the ever-present memories of Lucius he didn’t need reminders of.

“Cool,” Doris said and sat down at their table.

“You’re really pretty. By the way,” Lily said.

“Thanks. I like your ring. I’m a Pagan too,” Doris said, pointing at Lily’s pentacle ring.

“Cool. I’m supposed to go to a Pagan group next week with a new friend. They meet up not far from here,” Lily said.

“Sounds fun. Maybe I’ll come,” Doris said, Sirius deciding to just relax and enjoy the music.


	12. Chapter 12

The Seattle Pagan’s of the Forest group met at Gas Works Park in the Wallingford neighborhood, facing out at Downtown Seattle on a hill. Lily had somehow roped Sirius into coming with her, despite his apathetic atheism and lack of interest in religion. In fairness, it was partly that cute Doris girl who convinced him. Lily had simply sealed the deal.

Together they walked down to the edge of the park, where the group was gathered very near to Lake Union. Lily looked forward to being surrounded by her people, even if this particular group wasn’t huge. She had never been around more than one or two other Pagans at a time before.

Lily and Sirius sat down next to Pandora who appeared to be by herself today. Pandora had recently revealed she was pregnant, very certain she was having a daughter.

“Hey,” Lily said, smiling at Pandora.

“Hello. Xeno isn’t here today. Actually, I think he’s stopped coming entirely,” Pandora said, her voice airy and soft.

“Oh, who is your friend, Pandora?” a woman with large, thick glasses said dramatically.

Lily had never seen a woman so covered in beads and her fingers covered in rings.

“Lily and Sirius, meet Sybill Trelawney,” Pandora said, gesturing between them.

“Pleased to meet you,” Lily said, shaking her hand.

“Have you had a Tarot reading recently? It is important to see what doom is coming your way,” Sybill said.

“No, I haven’t. Not since high school,” Lily said.

Trelawney looked dismayed, quickly pulling out two decks of cards.

“This cannot stand,” Sybill said, rapidly shuffling each deck as if in a trance, then spreading the cards of one deck out before her.

“Pick the card that calls out to you,” Sybill said and Lily moved her hand over the spread, trying to focus on a card.

She pulled one out and flipped it over. Two naked people with an angel hovering over them. The Lovers.

“Interesting. That is your archetype,” Sybill said, then moved those cards out of the way, handing Lily the other deck and saying, “Shuffle this deck eight times then divide it into three piles below your archetype card.”

Lily did as requested, remembering in the past being told to focus on her hopes, dreams, desires and fears. After mixing them well, Lily put them into neat piles.

Sybill flipped over a card on the first pile. A hand holding a sword at the top of which perched a crown.

“The Ace of Swords. This card represents where you are in the physical realm. The Ace of Swords speaks of strength and new ideas. Clarity of mind. It is possible you are seeking for a new lover,” Sybill said, pointing between it and the Lovers.

Lily only nodded, letting her continue. Sybill flipped over the second card. A hand holding a wand.

“The second card stands for the mental realm. That which is going on in your _mind_. The Ace of Wands! You must be adventurous. Don’t hold yourself back. Unleash your creativity and touch the sky!”

Lily nodded.

“Seems pretty on-brand so far,” Lily said.

“And now we see what message the spirit has for you,” Sybill said, flipping over the third card.

A woman bound and blindfolded, surrounded by swords.

“Oh dear. The Eight of Swords. The spirit believes you are trapped. Trapped by circumstance and trapped by love. You must listen to the spirit to guide you through this trying time,” Sybill said.

Lily felt a little ill. She wasn’t trapped. She had never been happier. But if that was true why did she suddenly feel so gross?

“Um. Thank you,” Lily said, trying to smile and noticing that several other women had gathered near, taking an interest in her reading.

“You’re welcome. I also do Horoscopes and run a Trans Pagan Luncheon group,” Sybill said, putting the cards away.

“A trans Pagan group? Neat,” Sirius said happily.

“Yes. You are most welcome to join us,” Sybill said, gesturing open palmed towards Sirius.

“Oh. I’m not Pagan. I mean I love nature but I’m not into magic. No offense,” Sirius said.

Sybill made a face that wasn’t quite revulsion but was close enough that Lily felt bad for Sirius.

“Not all Pagans believe in magic,” a red-headed woman wearing a black Pearl Jam tee-shirt and a denim skirt said.

“How’s that?” Sirius said, looking curious.

She sat up from her position of laying on her side, now sitting crosslegged.

“I’m a Humanistic Pagan. I have a reverence for nature and I keep to the customs of the Wheel of the Year but I don’t believe in magic. Though in a way, nature is magic,” she said.

“Tell me more. I’m Sirius, by the way,” he said, shaking her hand.

“Agatha. Well… I like to meditate. I think of my place in the universe. I’m so small. And yet my very existence so unlikely. If you think about the odds that everything lined up perfectly for you to exist… they are impossible. That’s a type of magic. And when I think of the way the world connects. The air that we breathe. The rain and water,” Agatha said then pointed out at Lake Union.

“Water flows into Lake Union from Lake Washington then some of that water flows out into Puget Sound via the canal. Puget Sound is part of the Salish Sea and they all flow out into the Pacific Ocean. The Pacific Ocean then flows out into everything. The entire world is connected to this very spot. I think about that when I meditate and I feel… so close to everyone. It’s beautiful.”

Agatha wiped at her eye. Lily glanced at Sirius who exhaled.

“I see. I’d like to talk more about this,” Sirius said.

“Care for a stroll?” Agatha said, pulling herself to her feet.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Sirius said and they disappeared.

“Guess your boyfriend ditched you,” a woman with spiky hair said.

“Oh. No, he’s fine. He’s not my… well… It’s. Hmm. It’s complicated,” Lily said then laughed, unsure what to call Sirius.

“No worries. I’m Rolanda Hooch. I’m a Humanistic Pagan too actually,” she said.

“Ah. I guess I’m a regular Pagan. I believe in all that stuff about nature being connected but I do think there’s… something spiritual within that. Something inside nature that loves me and guides me,” Lily said, having so rarely talked about her beliefs comfortably.

“That’s how I feel,” Pandora said, warmly.

“Hey,” a voice said and Doris Purkiss plopped down next to Lily.

“Hello, Doris,” Lily said, her eyes overwhelmed by her multi-colored neon dress.

“I like your dress,” Rolanda said then added, “We mostly get Earth tones in this group. Like we’ve gotta dress like trees or no one will take us seriously.”

“Thanks. Where’s Sirius?” Doris asked.

“He’s um… Doing some soul searching,” Lily said then chuckled.

“Fair enough,” Doris said and introduced herself to everyone.

A few others from the group came over to say hello as well but many had comfortably separated into their own friend groups. Lily found herself laying back on the grass, grateful that she had put on sunscreen and brought her sunglasses. It had been too long since she’d sunbathed. The Seattle sun was surprisingly potent. This was nice. The only thing that could make it better was weed. But she was holding off on smoking while she continued to breastfeed.

“Did you fall asleep?” Sirius asked as he got back.

“No. Just enjoying nature,” Lily said, smiling.

Lily felt something on her face and she opened her eyes and blew out, sending a leaf flying. She laughed at Sirius and shook her head.

“You’re such a troll,” Lily said.

“Hey, Sirius,” Doris said.

“Hey. I can’t believe you actually came,” Sirius said.

“I find it hard to believe you would doubt my commitment after everything we’ve been through,” Doris said.

Lily thought about her Tarot reading. She didn’t feel trapped. She didn’t think she did. Harley was a blessing and she loved all the boys. She loved their house. She had what could be virtually considered a charmed life. What did she have to be ungrateful for?

But still. She couldn’t shake that feeling.

* * *

 

“This is nice, guys,” Lily said as she walked around Dorcas and Peter’s new apartment.

“Thanks,” Dorcas said, seeming pleased.

The walls were covered by Peter’s sketches. Lily had forgotten how talented he was.

“Some of these are new, right? I haven’t seen these,” Lily said, walking over to the northern wall to look at a few of them closer.

“Yeah. Just last month. How about you? Are you still sketching?” Peter asked.

Lily laughed.

“If you can call my doodling sketching. I mostly took it up to pass the time when I wasn’t feeling well,” Lily said.

“Well, practice makes perfect,” Peter said, bordering on smug.

“Probably. Speaking of art, I have officially applied for an acting class,” Lily said proudly, lifting her arms up dramatically.

“That’s so cool,” Dorcas said.

“Yeah. Hope I’m not rusty,” Lily said.

“After a couple of years of bullshitting dudes on cam you should be a pro,” Dorcas said.

“Yeah. Which reminds me that I need a job. I don’t know if I can go back to camming. The more I’m away from it the more I’m glad I’m not doing it. I wish there was a way I could express my love of sex and sexuality without weird, creepy dudes getting in the way,” Lily said.

“In the modern age, all things are possible. I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Dorcas said.

“Maybe. So, what are you guys planning to do with your newly found city life?” Lily asked.

“I’m putting my graphic design degree to good use,” Peter said.

“Retail hell continues for me. Thinking about actually going to college,” Dorcas said.

“We should’ve all gone,” Lily said.

“Yeah. You still could, though. Washington has some pretty generous tuition programs,” Dorcas said.

Lily didn’t even know what she would take at college if she went. She’d never asked herself what she wanted to be when she grew up. She thought she would just be herself. But now that she was climbing towards her mid-twenties she had to admit, a plan would’ve been nice.

She was going to take the acting classes but there was no guarantee those would pan out. And the average actor made basically no money at all anyway. She couldn’t build a life off that.

She could opt to just let all the guys in the house pay for everything and focus on raising Harley. But that idea made her feel deeply dissatisfied. She wanted her own life. Her own freedom. Her own choices.

But it was her own choices that lead her to where she was. Her choice not to go to college. Her choice to move to Oregon. Her choice to pursue James romantically. Her choice to have the baby. Her choice to move to Seattle. These weren’t things that were just happening to her, they were things happening because of her.

“Maybe. We’ll see,” Lily said, thinking she needed to meditate later.

* * *

 

“This is nice,” Remus said.

“Sunshine is my fave,” Lily said as they walked together through their local neighborhood.

“You should’ve brought Harley,” Remus said.

“James works all week. I think it’s good to give him time with the baby,” Lily said then added, “And I’m still iffy about dragging the baby around everywhere. They aren’t even a month old yet.”

Lily thought perhaps she was destined to be an overly protective mother, ironic given what a free spirit she had always been, even as a child.

“Fair. So, last night I got to see the final cover of my book,” Remus said.

“Oh? Was it cool?” Lily asked.

Remus shrugged.

“Looked like a romance novel. They’ve changed the title to Oath of Blood,” Remus said.

“That sounds really generic,” Lily said.

“Yep. Ah well. I’m sure they know more about this stuff than I do,” Remus said.

“Working on anything else? Done any editing on that script?” Lily said, having given him copious notes for the first draft.

“Not really. I’m feeling sort of listless. I want to be creative but I don’t know how,” Remus said.

“I feel ya. I think the last month has been draining,” Lily said.

“You had a baby, Lily. You have a much better excuse than I do,” Remus said, grinning.

“Ooo, look. A yard sale,” Lily said and grabbed Remus’s hand tugging him towards the other side of the road.

“All right,” Remus said, not resisting.

Lily rushed to the findings with glee, though ultimately found them to be decor more suitable for the home they had left, rather than the new one. There was a lot of Christian art, and not the classy kind. The kind where Jesus was a white dude.

Lily heard a strumming and turned around to find Remus holding an acoustic guitar. He quickly looked embarrassed then set it down.

“Aww I wanted to watch you play,” Lily said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I was just being silly. I did want guitar lessons when I was younger. My dad paid for them but I was too anxious. So he didn’t end up buying me a guitar,” Remus said.

Lily grabbed the guitar and walked up to the middle-aged couple who were running this yard sale. She held the guitar up and said, “I’ll give you fifteen dollars.”

The couple turned and looked at each other. The woman shrugged and the man said, “All right.”

Lily paid them then walked back to Remus, handing the guitar over.

“You own a guitar now. No lessons required,” Lily said.

“Lily… you didn’t have to do this,” Remus said.

“It probably needs a new string. And to be tuned,” Lily said as they started to walk away from the yard sale together.

“Lily, I don’t really deserve-“

Lily whirled around, lifting up a finger.

“Not this time, Remus. Stop. You don’t need to earn or be worthy of my love. If I do something like this it’s because I care about you. It’s not a bribe so that you’ll do something for me later. There are no strings attached. Well… there are a few strings attached, but you know what I mean!” Lily said, laughing.

Remus softly chuckled and said, “OK.”

“Good. Now, let’s go home and see if you can use that to serenade Sirius,” Lily said.

“Speaking of Sirius, he’s been going on and on about Paganism since you took him to that group thing. I’ve gotta admit I didn’t see that coming,” Remus said.

“Yeah. I would’ve expected you to get drawn into it before him. You’ve had a lot more exposure,” Lily said.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been that interested in religion at all. I’m not against it. It’s just not something I think about,” Remus said.

“Do you think you believe in God?” Lily asked.

“Every time I think about there being a God I just get really sad. I just can’t believe there’s a plan or a design. I can’t believe in a God that has a plan that involves so much suffering,” Remus said.

“That’s not how I see it. I think it’s more like currents guiding us. If we all followed the currents, there’d be no more suffering,” Lily said.

“But if there are rules to follow, why make them ambiguous? Why have there be so many different religions?” Remus said.

“Maybe there isn’t one way. Maybe you just find what works best for you, even if that’s not believing. Also, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe God is beyond our understanding. Maybe there are many competing Gods. We Pagans certainly lean that way. I suppose I do but in a more abstract way,” Lily said.

“There’s just nothing in the world that to me feels like adding God to it causes it to make more sense. But I’m glad it makes you happy,” Remus said with a smile.

“Thank you. That’s generous of you,” Lily said, bumping her shoulder against him.

“What? I wasn’t joking!” Remus said.

“Shut up. We’re home now. Time to go inside and really blow Sirius away with how sexy you look holding a guitar,” Lily said and Remus adjusted the guitar in his arms, looking absolutely adorable.

* * *

 

The sun was still up when Lily and James left the restaurant in downtown Seattle. Remus and Sirius were at home watching Harley. This was, as far as Lily could recall, the first time neither of them was with the baby. But she supposed Remus and Sirius would be a part of Harley’s family. It was never too early for bonding.

“I can’t believe it’s almost September,” James said as they headed to where they parked.

“A year since Sirius moved to Portland,” Lily said.

“Time flies when… life keeps happening, non-stop, all the time,” James said.

“I need a rest,” Lily said.

“Me too. I think I’ll relax more after the election,” James said.

“Did you say election?” a man suddenly said, walking up to them.

He was a white dude with a very substantial beard. His black tee-shirt had ACAB in big white letters.

“Yeah. What’s up?” James asked, stopping in his tracks.

“Here’s a flyer. We’re all about anti-fascism, Black Lives Matter, anarchy and fighting the system. Donald Trump’s gonna win the election and we need to be ready,” the man said.

James laughed.

“There’s no way Donald Trump is gonna win, man. Hillary’s going to crush him,” James said firmly, taking the flyer anyway.

“Listen, man, study your history. Read It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis. It’s happened time and time again. Fascism keeps coming. Just because it’s never happened in America doesn’t mean it can’t happen here. We’ve gotta be ready,” the man said.

“In the unlikely event Donald Trump wins maybe I’ll give you guys a call,” James said and he and Lily walked away.

“I’ll be seeing you!” the man called out.

Once they arrived back at the car, James got into the front seat, Lily in the passenger. James looked at the flyer.

“Can you believe this shit?” James said.

“I mean, I do think Trump is a fascist,” Lily said.

“I mean, yeah. At least he certainly acts like one. But he’s not going to win. That’s absurd. If Donald Trump wins you may as well just toss America in the fuckin’ trash,” James said, wadding up the flyer and tossing it into the backseat.

Lily wanted to admit that she didn’t feel so confident Trump would lose but she didn’t want to argue in the middle of what was otherwise a very nice date night. James drove them back home. Traffic was bad but not the worst she had seen so far. It was dark by the time they finally pulled into their driveway.

“I’m not ready to go inside,” Lily said.

“Let’s run down to the beach,” James said, stepping out of the car.

“Are we allowed down there this late?” Lily asked, closing the car door.

“Probably not. C’mon,” he said and began walking down the driveway, Lily catching up.

Lily wasn’t the biggest fan of walking in the dark but right now she felt OK. They arrived at the beach several minutes later finding the moon shimmering on Puget Sound. It wasn’t so late that cars weren’t still driving by but the beach itself seemed empty. They walked down steps to the beach itself and walked north up the shore.

“Might be raining a little,” Lily said, holding out a hand and feeling small droplets hitting her palm.

“That’s all right. I’m waterproof,” James said and Lily laughed.

“Here, let’s sit over here,” James said, leading them to a spot beneath the boardwalk that ran up the length of the beach.

It was one of the few spots that weren’t covered in rocks. Lily lowered herself down, thinking she was going to get her skirt muddy as she kicked off her shoes to feel the wet sand between her toes.

As soon as they were seated, side by side, James turned to Lily and kissed her. Lily knew that kiss. It was the right sort of slow and tender that James always lead with when he wanted sex.

“Here on the beach? We could get caught, you know,” Lily said.

“We won’t. I just want to go down on you. If anyone comes by I’ll pop out quick. It’s dark, they can’t see anything,” James said.

“All right. Please proceed,” Lily said, spreading her legs and scooting her lower body to make it easier for James to get at her.

James crouched in front of her, gripping the hem of her skirt and lifting it up. Lily laughed with nervous excitement. He pulled her underwear out of the way then went to town, Lily watching the waves as James ate her out.

Lily basked in the sights and sounds. Cars driving by, the sounds of the water, the wind, even the sounds of someone walking on the boardwalk above them. When she came she allowed herself one loud moan, feeling she had earned it. If anyone caught them now, at least she had gotten off already.

James came out from beneath her skirt looking proud. He then moved back next to her and they cuddled, James’s arm around her back.

“Did I tell you about that weird Tarot reading I got?” Lily said.

“I don’t think so,” James said.

“Ah. At that Pagan meeting last week a new friend did a Tarot reading for me. I found it a little unsettling,” Lily said.

James chuckled.

“I can’t say I’ve ever been interested in Tarot,” James said.

“I thought you believed there was truth in everything,” Lily said.

“I’m not saying it’s not real. It’s just not for me. Anyhow, why was it unsettling?” James asked.

“I don’t know. There was this bit about me feeling trapped,” Lily said.

James laughed, much louder this time.

“That’s ridiculous,” James said.

Lily also laughed, mostly because she found it infectious.

“I know. But still. It did get me thinking. I wish there was a job I could do from home. You’re already working long hours and I have acting classes coming up. I don’t want to leave the baby with Remus and Sirius all the time. Well, until Sirius gets a job, then it’ll just be Remus.”

James nodded and kissed her forearm.

“I assume you don’t want to go back to camming.”

Lily shook her head.

“I think I’m done with that. It’s easy work but… no. I think I’m over that now,” Lily said.

“So, start a YouTube channel. That’s what everyone is doing these days,” James said.

“I could. But what about?”

“Whatever you want. You. Your life. Channel all that creative energy into that. People will love you. And you’ve got a cool story with the polyamory and all. And the way you look at the world. I think anyone would love to see the world through your eyes,” James said and Lily turned and kissed him.

“I’ll take that kiss as confirmation my idea is a good one,” James said.

“Yeah. I think it is,” Lily said, making her toes create circles in the sand as her mind raced through all the possibilities.

She could get the Pagan group involved. She could go all over the Seattle area. Interview other polyamorous people. Maybe go to one of Seattle’s sex clubs. She’d have to be careful with that one. All Lily had ever wanted was to connect with people and bring them together. This gave her a way.

“Marlene was right. I do want everything. But is that really so bad?” Lily said.

“I think expectations matter more than everything. There’s a difference between having high ambitions and believing yourself to be entitled. I don’t think you’re entitled. I just think you’re an optimist. Maybe you need to learn to let go sometimes but I don’t think wanting to hold onto the ones you love is a weakness. It’s a strength,” James said.

Lily was quiet for a moment then said, “Thank you, James.”

“For anything in particular,” James said.

“For being a light in the darkness,” Lily replied and laid her head on his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap on this arc. I'll hopefully have the next short-ish arc out later this year.


End file.
